Tuesday, March 19, 2013

FIRST DARLING OF THE MORNING

I bet none of us can read a book about childhood memories without relating it to our own. Especially if you share the same  culture and traditions with the character in the story.

This book, is a compilation of memories of an Indian child. It was pretty shocking as to how similar it could be with some of us Indian girls living elsewhere. Somehow the family living out of India still seem to follow the same traditions, rituals and habits as those who live in India.

The first thing that caught my attention was the fact that , as an Indian child you have to be prepared to be "advised" by neighbours ,family friends ,relatives , and even strangers at times.

Heres a part for instance ,

" So, will you be nicer to your mummy now, for my sake? Some well meaning neighbour asks me, after lecturing me for half -hour. "promise me you will side with your mummy against your daddy"   

We Indians are brought up in a culture that allows almost anyone to advise you !! hahaha...yeah, all you need to be is an adult...and you have the rights to correct anyone ! And parents will go something like "hah!? did u hear what "uncle" said !?? or did you understand what "aunty" said ?? And please dont mistake these "aunties" or "uncles" to be our relatives...they can be just a neighbour or someone visiting us for the first time in years! But as an Indian child you have to obey and also respect them because they are your parents friends.

I find this culture pretty interesting as people those days seemed more caring and open about family matters and werent sensitive about it! Compared to families nowadays, where parents are overprotective and too sensitive about their children. They expect their kids to be so well  behaved that they find it embarrassing if a friend or another family member corrects or scolds them ! So, they refuse to leave the house and prefer to hide away if their kids are naughty. Even the child would feel the pressure everytime they are going out as they would hear their parents saying " now...behave yourself okay, dont make noise, dont cry,dont run, dont touch anything , dont move if possible !!!!" But isnt it ridiculous ! A child will be a child...whether Indian , Chinese, Malay , English or African. They will be active and curious when they go out ! and whats wrong in that ??

If a neighbour cant handle your child ....then, thats the neighbours problem...not the child's ! So i think we need to relax when we are out and dont get ourselves tensed up about " what others might say" Of course that doesnt mean we dont teach our kids manners. We need to guide them of course, but lets not over do it for the sake of some adults who think they were born as an adult and never was a child before !!! Who didnt spill food when they were 3 years old...who didnt mess their clothes with ice cream ! Who didnt run around the house or swing on the gates...we all did that ...so let children be children and stop trying to make them an adult too soon coz i am sure they will get there themselves ! 

Anyway, i am thankful to have had an awesome childhood. My parents would let me climb every tree in my neighbourhood...and play in the rainwater at the playground ( believe me, that will be a fairytale for kids nowadays !). And having beautiful neighbours who are like family till now, uncles and aunties who truly care made my childhood truly beautiful ! I didnt mind being scolded or advised by my uncles or aunties for they also love me just as much as my parents do! More love is always good :)

So, i hope parents let their children share a little life with people around and not restrict them to a tiny circle of people which usually is just the parents and siblings.

And coming back to the book, its a beautifully written childhood memories of Thrity Umrigar who grew up in a middle class family in Bombay. Its pretty sweet and touching. Above all its mostly about simple moments of daily happenings in a family.  

So, think of the childhood you had and also think of how you would like your child to remember theirs...fill it up with more space and life for them , and by space i dont mean...bigger house...but a bigger heart <3>

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