Saving Fish From Drowning

Ive never heard of this book till i saw it in BookXcess 2 weeks ago. What caught my attention was the title. "SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING" ?? I picked it up and read the title again and again....SAVING FISH FROM DROWNING....erm that doesnt make sense does it...? Fish dont drown ! so, what could saving fish from drowning mean ? 

So i read the outline of the story and came to know that it was about 11 American tourists who mysteriously went missing in Burma while they were on a journey along the famed Burma road.. And the more interesting part was that the story was revealed by a spirit of a lady by the name of Bibi Chen who was an art patron in San Franscisco. This was the lady who planned out the journey for the 11 American friends. But she mysteriously dies before the trip begins and thus her spirit follows them through out the journey. The details of the missing people and the events were recorded under "Automatic Writing" , descriptions of archived "messages from the unseen world" in various languages reportedly transmitted to people who had no knowledge of the received language. These entries were found in a library of an American society for physical research by a person named Karen. She discovers this particular entry on the 11 missing American recorded and thats how the story begins.

It was really interesting to read a story narrated by a spirit instead of a living person...for a change :)

So i bought the book and just finished reading it. It was quite an experience being in China and Burma with those tourists and to witness many interesting encounters along the way. But the most interesting part of the story was about saving fish from drowning ! Here i wish to share the part that explains the title :-

Just crossing the border into Burma, the tourists stops at a village..

"  I thought this was a Buddhist country," Heidi said. " I thought they didn't kill animals." A few yards to the right was the bloody carnage of a dead pig.

" The butchers and fishermen are usually not Buddhist," Walter said. " But even if they are, the approach their fishing with reverence. They scoop up the fish and bring them to shore. They say they are saving fish from drowning. Unfortunately ...." the fish dont recover."

Saving fish from drowning? Dwight and Heidi looked at each other and guffawed. Was he joking?

Heidi was unable to speak. Did these people actually believe they were doing a good deed?

"No worse than what we do in other countries," Dwight said.

"What are you talking about?" Moff said.

"Saving people for their own good,"he replied. "Invading countries, having them suffer collateral damage, as we call it. Killing them as an unfortunate consequence of helping them."


ahhhh....now i see what the title means !! :)

Though here they have mentioned the wars as an example of saving fish from drowning, i felt that we are all doing that at some point of our lives without realising it !

Families, especially in an Asian culture are SO good at this ! :) hahahha...well i know we Asians have very strong family sentiments and stay connected no matter what ...i dont deny that part of it...but then very often we do more harm to each with the good intention of "helping out". 

Parents and children relationship can be the most complicated of all. followed by uncles, aunties, cousins and distant relatives who can ALL play a big role in what happens in your most personal life. Everyone gives their opinions and advise to you and the problem is they all give different ones. You end up more confused then before and most of the time settle in for one of it out of desperation. Then you go pretty far in that path and suddenly realise thats not what you wanted ! And begin to wander how on earth you decided to something like that ...then it occurs to you ...ohhh it was suggested by this person ...and you were convinced by them then ! 

Followed by the family, is the culture you belong to. Culture throws you a neverending list of what you can and cannot do so you would fit into that society. 

For example , Indian families never encouraged girls to become dancers or singers. To perform in front of an audience is shameful they say. Made me wander, how many beautiful dancers and singers have the world missed because of this culture ! The very same society who believes in Goddess Sarasvati who blesses children with such talents also forbids them from bringing the talent out of the person. I dont understand. You worship the goddess who gives those talents but disgrace the talent itself at the same time ! why ? 

Culture, tells you how you should dress, but it doesnt tell you how to see others beyond the physical appearance. All temples in India have the most scantily dressed female figures in sculptures and paintings. But worshipers who enter the temples know how to SEE it. As divine, as and art, as a beauty and as nature. Then as they walk out of the temple they judge a lady who is not "appropriately dressed" Why ? If you know how to see the beauty beyond the physical sculptures and paintings in the temples why cant you see it outside the temple? What has changed now ? What changes is what we choose to see. 

"When a dancer is performing...watch the dance !! Be one with the soul of the dancer and the music. And you will not see what she/ he is wearing. I have danced Indian classical for about 20 years of my life and i can tell one thing for sure..by the time we get on the stage we have been through so much pain during practice and rehearsals that your only intention on stage is to perform well and be indulged in the music. No dancer will even think of seducing the audience with her dressing. If that is her intention she would be dancing in a very different kind of place where she will not have to memorize 1000 steps according to the beat or endure the pain caused by long hours of practice ! So culture need to teach people how to know the difference ! To respect and see art as ART and nothing else ! 

Just like that, culture has created so much restrictions and rules that blocks many possible paths a person can take. I am definitely one person who do believe in culture but what i believe is a culture which teaches a person how to CHOOSE & SEE the right thing. And not blindly follow something whether or not it makes any sense.

So again, culture too is saving fish from drowning ....

Well there many more examples...like keeping birds in cages and justifying that we feed them everyday and it saves its life... :) i dont know about you...i would rather die flying then to live forever in a cage. 

So, Have you saved any fish from drowning ??  :) 

And the Mountains Echoed

Have been walking the streets of Kabul and through the mountains of the Shadbagh village in Afghanistan. At the end of this trip i find that this trip wasnt as haunting as the "Thousand Splendid Suns" or the " The Kite Runner". Either i have grown stronger when it comes to Afghan stories or the author decided to have some mercy for his readers this time...i really cant say. But one thing for sure, i will always remember beautiful Pari and her loving brother Abdullah who tells her bedtime stories.

I will not get into details of the story for you can always find them in the net. This story is based on the relationship of a 10 years old brother and 3 years old Sister who are separated when their father had to sell his daughter to a childless couple in Kabul. 

For some reason, this story reminded me of my mother  ! No she was not sold to anyone, but was married when she was just 14 and taken away from her parents and her only younger brother and brought to Malaysia. And those days, there were no means of communication as there is today. This village in India she is from is so remote without electricity or clean water supply. It was totally like a national geographic experience when i first set my foot there 20 years ago. And now when i read this book , i could really feel the ties to my mother land and also the pain of being separated from your loved ones at such young age. I can imagine how my mother would have felt. Taken away almost forcefully , when she was not ever aware of what marriage even meant ! But she had no say in it. 

Her parents were poor and they did what was best for her. They wished she would escape the harsh life over there. And yes of course she did...because my father made sure she got better food, clothes and life over here. But then , he was not able to erase that resentment built in her heart for being the reason she was ripped apart from her parents and brother. No matter how well she was doing here, she couldnt let go of the thought of having her mother with her all the while !

She visited them only once every 10 years...! Situation was such, because my father is the eldest son and the only one working then , everyone else was still in school or college.There was 10 people to feed and clothe. And yet, he managed to save enough to buy a terrace house in the most expensive housing area those days. I was born in this new house and brought up there, my parents and brother still live there today. So, with such responsibilities i cant blame my father for not being able to send my mother to visit her parents more often. But he did send some food supplies for my grandparents in India like Milo, milk powder and so on all packed in boxes and couriered. He helped them in anyway he could afford like during festivals or when they fell ill. And yet nothing he did satisfied my mother. Till today she feels she was snatched away from her family and regrets the whole marriage thing. I cant blame her either ! 

I am only glad that i met my grandparents 20 years ago and spent 2 months with them. That was the most consoling thing for my mother because my grandparents both passed away the very same year !! just about 2 or 3 months after we came back to Malaysia, both my grandparents had chicken pox and they passed away one after the other ! 

The saddest thing is, the rest of her relatives in India advised her not to attend the funeral in India, because the whole village was effected by chicken pox. So mother was not able to say goodbye to both her parents :( Seriously how sad is that ! She cried helplessly thousands of miles away, wishing she could look at their faces one last time and to touch them one last time before they are erased from the face of the world..! But no it didnt happen. She hugged me and cried uncontrollably..and i was not at all prepared to console her..i mean what do you say ??? Its ok ? It happens? Its best that they are gone ?? Its fair that you never spent more time with them ?? 

i had no idea what to say to her...i just hugged and cried with her. Thats all i could do. But still, I thanked God for the timely trip we planned to visit them just in time to say goodbye or they would have never seen their grand daughter ! The two months we spent there was so fun, chatting and laughing and travelling around together. I didnt mind the tiny shack with just one bulb for light and no water supply..simply because of the neverending supply of love and care i received ! Father bought them everything they wanted...sweaters for my grand pa, sarees for grandma, food, blankets , towels, and so on. They were so excited that we all three were there for 2 months. So, somehow, God knows best. He planned the trip knowing that it would be the only chance ! And even mother was a little consoled because she was with them just before they passed away. 

Today, her only family left is her younger brother, now working in Singapore and thanks to Air Asia and super cheap phone charges...she has been visiting her relatives in India more often and also communicates with them regularly. Though i wish it happened while her parents were still alive. But thats life, we simply have to live with whats possible at the moment. 

So the question is, was it worth getting their daughter married off and sent far away for a better life ? Was the good food and clothes and living condition worth more than being with your parents ? I dont know ...i really dont. But one thing for sure, i would not have existed if my grandparents decided not to let her go :) 

ermmm...again was it worth it ??? :) hahahha...as always ...some questions have no answers...we just have to live with the questions itself...and leave the rest to nature :)

And like the title of the book ..the decision my grandparents made..has echoed into my life...they decided that i should be here ...this moment , writing this part ....

its interesting , isnt it ? :)