ONLY TIME

If you know Enya's songs....you will know these words...

Who can say where the road goes

Where the day flows, only time

And who can say if your love grows

As your heart chose, only time

Who can say why your heart sighs

As your love flies, only time

And who can say why your heart cries

When your love lies, only time

Who can say when the road meets

That love might be in your heart

And who can say when the day sleeps

If the night keeps all your heart

Who knows, Only Time

We make decisions based on what we have learnt right up to THAT moment we are making a decision, but what comes next we have  absolutely no idea...so we enjoy the moments and go with it till it suddenly, for no reason at all, rips you off  the path and puts you in a middle of a circle ...with no pointers...no roads...no signboards...no clue!! you are allowed to take a step in ANY direction and yet you stand there frozen as  you are too stunned to make a move...and which way now? Who knows....only time...

We think we are getting closer to the truth as we begin to feel the joy within...walking lighter, brighter and clearer in the head then ever before...so we get this feeling "Yay...i am on the right track and i am getting there" You forget the rest of the world...you have created a new world for yourself with everything and everyone you love in it...you are on top of the world, reaching out to the stars, and suddenly you slip and find your world missing altogether...you stand there blank wondering where everything and everyone went...or was it all just an illusion...you begin to wonder...but then..

Who knows, Only Time....

You have let go of all desires, cravings and longings...no grudges...no regrets coz the moment in hand is too joyful. So you have stopped searching, you have stopped wondering,  you have stopped reaching out coz its all right here! no where to go...you are dancing through the moments so joyously and again.... the music stops, and you are left in a deafening silence. You are too shocked to react, you wait to hear it again ...but there's nothing...and you wait...in silence...will the music be turned on again...?

Who knows, only time...

You stopped running and have settled down in your most favourite place, simply soaking in its beauty, feeling the breeze, the sun and the mist, all keeping you just right...not too cold...not too warm...not too dark and not too bright, you could see as far as light allows, so you stay there, loving it all...and suddenly the sun hides behind the clouds and it gets freezing cold, you want to move but you feel too numb, you cant feel your hands or feet or even your heart beating....so keeping your eyes closed, you look within, will the rays reach out to you again...?

Who knows, Only Time...

You have stopped looking for answers coz you have no idea what the question is, so you have learnt how to let go and receive whatever comes, you have thanked the universe over and over for everything that came your way, you have learnt that every moment is an answer, but still your heart will not stop asking, what exactly is the question?

Who knows, Only Time....

Choose your world

Where do you live...?

How often have you answered that question? And how differently have you answered it? All of us would give the location...like, in this particular street, area, town, state and so on. But is that where we are living for real? Ever thought about it?

When you wake up in the morning, what is your first thought? Your office matters? The file that's missing. The payment due? The appointment with client? The jam? The groceries you need to get? Getting your kids to school...The argument you had with someone yesterday? The neighbour you hate?? 

OR

The sunrise, the colour of the sky, the chirping birds, the dew on flowers, the soft grass, the new blooms in your garden, the happy moments yesterday, your favourite music, your favourite book, or how you are going to dress up for the day?? Your best friends, your loving aunt?? Your cute puppy!!?

Both person maybe waking up from the same bed, and yet living in a completely different world. What occupies every moment in your head makes your world. 

And when we live in every moment, we live in our own unique world coz no two person's moments could possibly be the same at any point of their lives. Everyone has to deal with different moments, let it be good or bad, happy or sad, funny or angry...every moment is uniquely YOURS to experience! Your own respond, your own feeling, your own understanding, your own joy! No other person will experience it the same way!

So each person actually lives in their OWN world! There is no ONE WORLD...but billions of worlds colliding, merging and splitting every second of the day. 

Sometimes we are thrown into a certain world without our consent. While sometimes we deliberately step into a certain world. But what we choose to LIVE in becomes the real world. And by real i don't mean, what you can see, touch, hear or smell but what you can feel within you. One might be living in a horrible condition, congested town, with little facilities and yet feel the joy of their little new born baby in their hands and their world would be as soft and as pure as the new born baby despite the environment. While someone else could be living in a palace and yet craving for love and their world could be as cruel as hell.

And the beauty of life is, no matter where you live or what the circumstances are, there is ONE thing that is available for all...LOVE. You can love in a prison, you can love in a palace, you can love in hut or mansion and when you learn love, you love it ALL. We, human beings are made of LOVE, we are LOVE.

Its that secret potion you can add on to ANYTHING you want, the only ingredient needed to grow your own beautiful world. The more LOVE you add the more beautiful your world gets...

So wake up to your own loving and beautiful world...never mind whats going on around you. Do whats necessary to face it, but stay in love within and simply watch how your life changes...

There are millions of realms to live in, choose yours!!! and LIVE IT!! NO, we don't share the same world as many say....on the contrary, we CREATE our own unique world!! 

So, where do YOU LIVE??

Theres no need to understand

Most people who are in search of the truth are trying to "understand life" but my question is..."What is there to understand?" What difference would it make?? Would you laugh a little more...would you be more forgiving? Would you do what you love? Would you appreciate every moment you are breathing? If yes...then why wait to "understand life"? Why bother asking SO many questions? Why confuse yourself with a thousand contradicting answers. Why do research on neverending scriptures?? Do you need a Buddha to tell you to laugh? Didnt you laugh as a child way before you even knew who Buddha is?? Then, why cant you do it now!!!? What exactly are you waiting for? Stop wasting precious moments trying to find an answer to something you cant question! No questions ( no matter how intelligent you are) can have the RIGHT answer to LIFE. Every answer will be different when it comes from another source. Then, are you going to spend another few more lifetimes finding out which answer is right?? When exactly do you intend to LIVE your LIFE...even Hinduism only gives you 7 lifetimes to get it right. But at the rate you are going, 7 thousand lives wont get you there! so DROP IT! like right now! and get on with life as it is. Enough rituals, enough rules and regulations and systems! Be you! at least give it a try...what have you got to lose! You dont get any bonus lifetime if you spend it on doing research on it! Are you???

When you start living your life, the meaning emerges out of your being, effortless. The answers flow into you without any questions. You will know it and yet will not be able to explain it. You will not be able to put in words coz its not meant for words. It is meant to be felt, loved, lived, be amused, amazed and surrendered to! 

And what does "living" mean? Does it mean you have to do the most extraordinary things or to achieve the unachievable..or to travel the world? Or to do social service? No, its not even that. Its just to be in line with life. To embrace the moments it brings to you without a fuss. To feel the moments in the depth of your soul. To remember who you are (i dont mean your name, or your fathers name...but who you are from within!) Stop being trapped in a routine...live spontanously. Fall graciously...get up again and again! Stop fussing, ranting, complaining, being frustrated (at EVERY single thing that you see, hear or experience!) be ready for the surprises, accept changes and above all LOVE your life!

Stop trying to change the world, stop accusing and blaming others, shift your focus into your own being instead of every other thing in the world. Feel yourself, know yourself, remember where you are (i dont mean the state or the country, but where you really are!) Watch everything, judge no one (i know its easier said then done, but keep reminding yourself and it slowly becomes a habit) There are no good or bad..but just whats necessary to keep life going, in line with the whole. 

Trust the amazing nature of life, it has been going on for billions of years. Stop resisting everything that comes your way just because it is not in your "Plan" coz you have no idea what surprises life could bring if you surrender to her.

Dont fake happiness. Find that joy within and be happy for real! Cry when you have to and then let it go! Live it all. Stop running away from negativity...the whole universe is made of both negative and positive. You cant run away from it. Find a balance and keep still. Stop swinging from one extreme to the other. Look at both sides and create your own center. Watch it and live at that center. 

be light and easy....life is so amazingly mysterious...stop grumbling about traffic jams (For heavens sake!) Talk about everything else thats amazing...the skies, the stars, the galaxies, the planets, moons...the streams and oceans, bugs and butterflies, the sun and wind...the breaths we take...the feelings, the joy and the love we share! Take it all in and live it all!

Then, theres no need to understand life :) 

Cosmic Injustice?

While reading this book about experiences of a guy with nature, i came across this term which caught my attention and made me sit wondering about a lot of things for a few minutes...

"COSMIC INJUSTICE" ....yes think about it for a bit before you read on. :)

Another paragraph which made more sense to what i was wondering about:-

"What is it about our species that allows us to watch sitcoms and argue over sports while cultures and creatures and those things meek and green and good are chopped, shot, and burned from the world for a buck? Why is it that we so revere compassionate, heroic characters in literature and theory but practice such arrant apathy?"

Just think about it, this world is made of a million things, all alive in its own way but with ONLY one form of life that does not live according to its natural ways...HUMAN BEINGS...all animals live in their own ways according to the characteristics of the species it belongs to, they eat the same time type of food, built nests the same way, live in the same habitat. We don't see vegetarian lions, or meat eating goat, all hyenas laugh the same way, all cuckoos sing the same tune. They simply stick to their nature. They don't act differently. 

Same goes to all kinds of plants, roses are roses, lilies are lilies, they don't cross their boundaries, all permanently stuck in its only reality, no way out. If you are a rose, no matter how beautiful you are, you will just be a rose forever! you will not explore or experience the nature of Lotus, of being soaked in mud and to bloom with the sun! No such thing is allowed. Nature has decided the fate and that's the END!
 
But HUMAN BEINGS!  You can be anything you want to be! You are planted with PASSION in your heart, that one thing other life forms are not packed with! They merely live to spend their lifetime. Trapped in their own ways of life. They cant get out of it! They dont experience ecstasy! But we are allowed to go beyond! And to rejoice in every moment lived with passion! Most people are trapped just like the roses and lotuses, though beautiful, it is still a prison. Why stay trapped when we are allowed to explore! Theres SO much to experience! Endless!! and the good news is we are allowed to! Then why stay trapped!? I don't get it! I seriously don't! 

And then, locking ourselves in our own prisons, we say "Life is unfair" hello!! If only you can hear life screaming at us "Get out of your head!! get into your soul!! IT IS ALL THERE!! 

Just think, why would nature create a species only to let it suffer! If we were to only breed and die like all other animals and plants then why give us sixth sense, why let us feel what the others don't, why make us see what others don't, why such variety among the same species, some are yogis, some are scientist, some are artists. Why give us the brains that can build rockets, and to explore the space. Why let us discover electricity if its going to pollute the environment? Why allow such criminals who kill animals for money, why create the villains!! Why not create a standard human being who acts exactly the same, lovable, just eating, breeding and lazing around like animals!? Wouldn't planet Earth be safer that way, no one to destroy the amazon, no one killing the elephants for ivory, no one killing sharks for its fin! SIMPLE! is it not? And we think nature is so dumb to have created a species who can be self destructive. And we have this group of people who are trying to save the planet! Hello again! We are the last thing nature can count on to save itself! So stop being such a hero!

We cant reverse the technology...we cant even live without a mobile phone. We cant imagine a world without electricity. We need the taps and running water, we need the heaters, we need the vehicles. No matter how much we love nature, its impossible to reverse everything that has been created.

My question is, why do we think nature was not aware of what is was getting into by creating us. It seems to me, more like it has put us here for a reason. We may not live to see it, but it is sure getting somewhere. At the rate science is going now, imagine the world 50 years from now! Do you seriously believe, planting a thousand trees a year is going to change that??

I don't think so. I think it is going where it wants to go, we may call it destructive, but probably it is not! What if it is building an entire new world with a different kind of species with higher intelligence?! Who can adopt to places further away from planet earth? People are breaking records in sports every year, what exactly is the limit, we don't know! So , what if nature does want us to go beyond our limits to a place destined, which only nature herself would know. What if Earth is just a training ground?? :)

The universe cant be wrong, it is too systematic to make such foolish mistakes...it could have killed us all in a blink if it wanted to. But no, its waiting, ever patiently for it to happen naturally. WHY?

It is not a Cosmic Injustice! It is destiny, not only of human beings but of the universe. We are just playing parts! No one is a saint, no one is a hero, no one is a sinner, no one criminal! Everyone is simply doing their part, like it or not! And without realising, we are helping the universe reach its destiny! That's what we are! A tool!

Or at least that's what i think we are :) :) 
 

Are you sleeping?

If you have ever put your ears on someone's chest and listened to their heartbeat and yet never wondered what it is....then you are surely sleeping. 

If you ever looked at the wings of a butterfly and never wondered who decided the symmetrical designs and vibrant colours.....you are surely sleeping.

If you ever planted a seed and just after a few days see a tiny life pushing its way through dirt and never wondered how it could have been hiding inside the tiny seed....you are sleeping.

If you ever looked at a spider and it's perfectly engineered network spread and didnt wonder how it knows where exactly to connect its threads....then you Are sleeping.

If you have been feeling your heart race towards nature and yet never wondered who is calling....you Are sleeping...

If you look at someone's eyes and never noticed their soul reflecting ...you are sleeping...

So...wake up and listen to the heartbeats once more...look at the butterflies again.. Trust the perfection of nature and look through someone's eyes and recognize the soul....

Then....you will see life happening like never before !

Authentic Living

The one question that has been on my mind lately, is WHAT IS SIN? Every culture, every race, every religion has a different idea of what sin is...but then we are all the same HUMAN! So does that mean, i escape a certain sin simply because i happen to be in a certain society by chance! Does nature bother with your religion or culture when it decides to punish you!? All nature sees is HUMAN....so what exactly is SIN?

None of the books i read gave me a satisfactory answer to this question...but i knew it was coming....somewhere, somehow, someone must have the answer. And not surprisingly, i finally found it in Osho's "danger

:truth at work" 

And i actually laughed out loud when i read those lines coz just like answers to all the other complicated questions we ask, this too was SIMPLE!! We as always go on missing the simple answers. You don't have to read scriptures, or memorize vedas, or chant a thousand mantraas to find these answers...its just put at plain sight and yet we go on missing it!

Before i share the answer, just imagine this, the whole world is alive with all kinds of living things, animals and plants, streams and rocks, bugs and insects, mountains and oceans and human beings are a part of this whole but the only difference is ALL other things of this world goes on according to nature EXCEPT we human beings! We have created a million rules to follow (which is all against our nature) and then call it a SIN when we cant follow it!  If such rules were necessary, do you think nature wouldn't have packed it into our system!??

For instance, if we should only be vegetarians, then nature could have easily made our system to only work if we consumed vegetable.....but people who are non vegetarian live on...dont they?? So, how could it be a sin if nature allows it?? Why should it give us a choice if it is not allowed! Nature works in a circle and it sure needs one life eating another. But how we do it is the question. Don't torture an animal before you slaughter it. And don't eat for pleasure which causes all the demand for such torture to take place. Eat what you have to and let other animals live! Isn't that exactly what carnivorous animals are doing? 

I am a vegetarian, not for religious purposes, but i am simply not comfortable eating non vegetarian food. But that doesn't have to work for everyone. If you can take non veg then go ahead but just remember to do it the right way, take responsibility to know where your meat comes from. If it comes from farms where animals are being tortured, stop buying from these sources. When you are aware sharks are being tortured for its fin, then stop consuming shark fin soup! And dont wait for the whole world to stop. YOU stop it first and the world will follow.  Eat moderately and don't waste food, don't eat for fun! Enjoy and respect the food you have. Then theres no place for "SIN"

So heres the answer i found in the book:

"To me there is only one sin, and that is not to be yourself. And to me there is only one virtue, and that is to know yourself. If you are Adam and Eve, just born, just getting out of the Garden of Eden-nobody to ask what to do, nobody to ask what discipline is right, no priest, no rabbi, no pope is available- what are you going to do?

Do that!" 

Does it not make sense?? We have forgotten how to react naturally with a thousand rules contradicting in our heads each time we face a situation in life. We have forgotten how to be natural. We react according to what our parents made us believe, what our society made us believe, cultures, traditions, rules and regulations crowding our head into one gigantic MESS. And then we wonder why life gets so chaotic! How else can it be when everyone we meet, is trying to fit into a different set of messy ideas about life and while we are all entangled in these ideas we forget how to love...which is the ONE most PRECIOUS quality we have. Seriously, do we even remember we are HUMAN BEINGS??? And what we can NATURALLY be??

Does it make sense??

We have absolutely NO choice about when we should come into this world...from a single cell into a living breathing person with about 37 trillion cells which does ALL the growing by itself,  and we are pushed into life WITHOUT our consent, and then we are expected to learn how to cope with life ourselves and take responsibility for anything that happens to us till we leave this world ....now, does that make any sense to you!? What kind of arrangement is that? No matter how many scientists get together and work for another million years will not be able explain why this is happening..

While the Universe has been created approximately 14 billion years ago....we human beings are only given less then 100 years each to experience and discover ALL that has been happening and by the time we grow out of childhood and even start wondering, we are done with life halfway!! Then we are expected to carry forward our search into the next life....(that is if you believe in reincarnation of course, otherwise you are done...you leave without knowing head or tail about life) Does that make any sense to you?? Even a thousand yogis may not be able justify this system. They may create a theory for everything but the question remains....WHY?? 

Why put human beings on Earth if everything we do is ruining the system? We have abused Earth with pollution and have ruined nature in every way! If Earth can do better without us...why put us here!? We say, the universe is realising ITself through us, without us theres no one to see it, admire it or love it! Fine, then what? Destroy it?? If nature had such intelligence to create a living being just to be able to see itself through our senses....then why did it not pack us ALL with the sense of love to keep Earth safe and not be so greedy and selfish? Why not create a more responsible species? Why create such morons who will build their "Homes" by destroying nature!! 

Does that make sense to you?

So, my point is...nothing about life really makes sense...it is just there to be loved, experienced and lived as it is. The whole beauty is in the LIVING it ALL. So we need to stop trying to find meaning to everything about life. We are wasting precious time by creating theories after theories about life. Stop following systems and theories and simply live life as it is! Whatever comes naturally is the only SENSE i can think of. And what comes naturally is LOVE. We are so concerned about meanings and theories that we forget to LOVE! People are more comfortable saying they hate someone compared to saying they love someone?? Why? Because they have theories like...you will get hurt when you love. But then how healthy do you feel by hating someone??? 

It is our nature to love! When we forget that, usually we are in trouble. We make our lives more miserable with all the hatred we carry. Give LOVE a chance!  After all life doesn't make any sense..why are we SO serious about everything! We are not going to be here forever....while we are here lets make this place a little more joyful, and lets leave life a little more colourful then it was before we came into the picture...at least then, it might make some sense :) 

What would you see in heaven?

I see people trying so hard to accumulate points so they would in the end be granted a place in heaven. Feed the poor....rescue a dog....plant a tree....visit the old folks and so on. While these are all good deeds which we should all do, its also important to know why we are doing it. If the idea is to book a place in heaven, we will surely not enjoy the moments of it. We are forcing ourselves to do good so we get a reward..then how can we experience the joy of doing such things. When our mind is set on a "HEAVEN" which we believe is somewhere above the clouds, beyond our imagination, would we not miss the twinkle in the eyes of a child receiving a gift from our hands? Would we not miss the magical moment when the bond between the giver and the receiver is created!? 

When you feel every moment from your heart and soul, heaven is there...When you feel your heart skip a beat whenever you hear your favourite music...heaven is there. When you taste your favourite food and feel how delicious it is ....heaven is there....when you see a stranger's baby smile at you and find yourself smiling at them...heaven is there...when you see your doggies running to you joyfully even if you only left them for an hour...heaven is there....when you watch the raindrops dripping from a flower of a plant you planted yourself ....heaven is there! When you hear the birds chirping away at dawn...heaven is there....When you see your children splashing water on each other and laughing...heaven is there....

I can go on and on forever...as there are no boundaries, limits or time for heaven...heaven is in every moment you breathe consciously. When you are no longer hypnotized by whatever the system made you to believe. When you are awake...you see heaven everywhere! You cant miss it from the moment you spot the first one! You will be overwhelmed by the heavens ....and you will laugh at yourself to have been missing it all for so long. 

Discover the heavens right here! Wherever we are...right now! Breathe consciously! Feel the moment! Feel the joy! Do whatever that brings you that joy. Cant help quoting RUMI here :-

" CLOSE YOUR EYES.

FALL IN LOVE.

STAY THERE." 

Stop chasing after heaven like its is somewhere else and just settle down to what you are doing and you will see heaven in every moment! It is ALL here! Not above...not below....simply HERE!! 

If we cant SEE it HERE...how can we SEE it at all...

WHY IS BUDDHA LAUGHING?

The Indian rishis and yogis have always mentioned that what we hear in the highest realms of meditation is a neverending laugh! And i am beginning to see why :) 

We are given ONE precious life to experience the 14 BILLION years old universe and what do we do??

We worry about the most insignificant things in life like...what my friends would think of me if i did this or that...what my family would say if i decided on this or that? I need to please EVERY other person in my life...even my neighbour who i only say "hi" to like once in a month maybe...so no...i will not try anything out of the ordinary...i will follow EVERY rule the society has set ....i will LIVE to fit into it and NEVER step out!

Then while fitting into this so called "system" we make ourselves miserable by fighting every instinct that proposes something out of the ordinary. "Go dance!" "No i am a super goody traditional wife and daughter in law...."i don't dance" "GO ON A HOLIDAY"! " NO!! I am the most responsible parent in the world who must ruin all my happiness so the rest in the family are happy! "GO PLAY IN THE RAIN! " NO every health article says....the rain water will make you sick!" GO DISCOVER YOUR PASSION" NO WAY! my society believes you must ONLY do whatever that brings you money! Passion is for another life! 

Yeah....these are the kinds of contradictory moments people go through all their lives...and then suddenly when something triggers their sleeping heads, they suddenly see that there is no "other life"....we are to experience life right NOW....and they panic!! Then they start doing the weirdest things...they run up and down chasing all the left out moments and cram it into their remaining lifetime. Seriously! why?? I don't blame most of them because our social system is such....brainwashed and so absorbed in it that its pretty hard to see life beyond it. 

Just imagine...we are merely infesting a rock floating in space...in a space SO vast beyond any measures of science! A beautiful form of life happening right before our eyes! We don't even know the end of it...too huge....too amazing...too far...infinite! And all we care about is what ...my neighbour might think of me! Now...why wouldn't Buddha laugh!? 

The universe without us...will go on! Only that there will be no one to talk about the beauty anymore! The universe without us in fact will be better off...and yet we live in a dream where we rule the world! But the amazing fact is....being so small...yet we have this consciousness that can experience the entire universe right from where we are!! Tell me, if theres a more exciting experience of life than getting to know the universe ourselves! We are now learning that it is possible for ALL human beings to experience it...and not like what most people think that only the yogis or rishis are able to see it....no! we are all capable...only problem is we don't even try!

Knowing life has got NOTHING to do with religion. We came before any religion ....life came first! So Life knows better. Dive into life. Live it! Love it! feel it! Touch it! Smell it! And above all...STAY ALIVE in it!  

Went through Hell?

How often have you said or heard others say "I went through hell" or "i am going through hell"?

Just sometime last week, as i was reading a book, suddenly it occurred to me that no one says "I went through heaven" We might say...those were the good old times or those were memorable events or something like that but never that we went through heaven? Why? I questioned myself and an answer did pop up in my head. I decided to post it as my FB status immediately so i wouldn't forget the exact words.

So here it is:

"It is because heaven is always here, right at the center of our being, while hell is only the path to it. Once we reach the center, we stay, theres no going through it anymore. But because many do not recognize the center, they try to make a heaven halfway through hell and then go on wondering why they are not at peace. The trick is this, if you are not at peace then don't stay there. Just keep going. You will know it when you get there."

We have been asking another question for centuries "why do good people suffer while some evil ones seem to be better off in life? Why so unfair? Right?

But out of my own experiences plus some readings i realise that, we will never come out of our comfort zone and enter the path to self discovery if we are not put in trouble! We will be spoilt kids who have everything in life...yes we may live happily ever after and die. But then what? Why were we even here in the first place. We die not knowing head or tail of life. Who we are, what are our strengths, our limits, our capabilities, and above all the breathtaking beauty of life itself. No we would NEVER see it if we lived in our comfort zone all our lives. That is why Hindus call it "Sleeping" because it is like we are sleep walking, living in a dreamworld. Not seeing anything beyond matter. Not seeing ourselves...not feeling how we are throbbing with life. How beautifully connected we are with every atom of the universe. 

Nature does us a favour by throwing a few stones at our sleepy heads. To wake us up. And to SEE what really is going on. But problem comes when we refuse to wake up with the small pebbles, then we are hit with rocks and it gets bigger until we start bleeding These wake up calls become hell and we start wondering why everything is going wrong. 

It doesn't get better until we realise what is really wrong. Its not life that is wrong. It is not the people around us. It is not the place we live, not the weather, not the country, not the government, not the parents. husband or children. No, it is simply ourselves. We are lost. Groping in darkness, hitting ourselves on every wall and pillars and hurting ourselves unnecessarily. As life keep throwing stones at us....suddenly at ONE POINT we wake up! And it leaves us dazed for sometime not so much because we are amazed at what we see but because we can't believe what we have been missing! especially because it is so plain and clear! You don't need any scriptures to tell you what it is. You don't need to attend classes or meditate day and night. No you can see it simply just like that! You either see it or you don't...theres nothing in between! No almost there...or kind of...or on the way. Nope! when you see it ...you see it ALL! 

Some of you maybe asking "what is it that we see?" 

First of all, i SEE why no religion in the world is able to explain LIFE. There is NO possible definition to it. It doesn't even make any sense! But it is just there! And we are IT! 

Then i SEE oneness. No you...no me...no planets...no trees...no moon...sun or anything on its own. No...it is all merged in ONENESS. There are no boundaries...not even individual souls...everything is into everything else. Like ice cubes melting into water.

Then i SEE what controls this ONENESS. The energy called LOVE. Put love into ANYTHING and it grows. Gardening..cooking..music..painting..business..relationships...

The amazingly beautiful secret ingredient to LIFE! 

But you cant love your husband and hate your brother for instance..because that only means you are filled with both love and hatred. The tiniest pinch of hatred within us contaminates all the love we have and creates chaos in our lives. It doesn't get peaceful till we fill every nerve of ourselves with love and nothing but love. I know its easier said then done. Of course, but we can always work on the percentage for a beginning. Love is a stronger energy. A tiny bit of love will take over a large chunk of hatred. Then it spreads itself. 

Then i SEE beauty as a whole. Everything and everyone is beautiful. Everything is a miracle...from bugs to the galaxies, everything is beautiful beyond our imagination. 

Above all i SEE that what we SEE is just a fraction of the never ending mystery of life. Imagine we are ants. Can you explain to an ant how vast this world is! No matter what level of science or religious scriptures you use, no words will make an ant understand how big this universe is for it cant even SEE a full view of a human with its tiny eyes. 

That's exactly how big the TRUTH is to human beings. We cant see it...at least not with naked eyes. And this is where the most beautiful part of being human comes! Nature has given a telescope called the consciousness. The moment we look into it...we get to SEE it ALL! Its like an ant SEEING the universe. Crazy but true!

So getting back to the question. If you went through hell then, try to recognize the place you have ended up in. If it doesn't look like heaven to you, pack up and keep going! Don't dwell in the wrong place for too long. And don't worry about not knowing when you reach the center. YOU WILL KNOW. For you will feel like dancing all day, it will be a different world with NOTHING that you saw before. You WONT and CANT miss it! :D

So, good news IS...going through hell isn't bad after all unless you  stay stuck halfway. So, keep going!! Don't stop no matter what! 

Have faith in life. It always knows the best way!

Meanwhile...stay as cheerful and as happy as possible till it becomes the only reality!

And just in case you are wondering...yes, i went through hell.

Paths of Glory

I just finished reading this true story about a man's extraordinary quest to climb Mt Everest. His name is George Mallory and you can get all details and videos about him if you google his name. So, i don't have to explain the story much except that he was last seen 600ft from the top of Mt Everest in 1924 at the age of 37 and his body was found only in 1999. It is still unknown whether he reached the summit.

While most people say it is sad that the world would never know if he reached the summit when he was that close to it and should have been the first ever man to reach the top if he actually did. But somehow i dont find it sad. I mean, how many of us would get to die 600ft from the top of Everest?? Imagine the views he had in his last moments. Imagine the excitement he must have felt when he was THAT close to being the first ever man to reach the top. Imagine the beauty surrounding him...imagine the experience of touching the divine nature. He had been dreaming of that moment since he was just a child and he knew all the risks he was taking...he knew death could happen at any moment if attempted to reach his dreams...he knew he may never see his family again....though he loved them more than anything and YET! He couldnt resist the climb...why?? I guess its because we human beings are made to strive for the best. We are not to settle for anything. The more we achieve the more we want to achieve. That's just human nature. Otherwise we would all be like bears, hibernating after each achievement. 

I realise that people are mostly worried about how long they would live rather than how passionately they live. And the fear of death or danger stops us from living altogether. We try to go risk free! and that is why it gets boring. 

We take diversion at every risky path and end up walking on a boring one way with no spectacular views or exciting twists and turns to negotiate....we could even end up sleep walking...day in and day out...going on like robots coz our lifestyle doesn't even require thinking!! Then one day...when we get old we look back and start wondering what on earth have we been doing all these while. Most of us do live this way....and what happens to us after our super long life?? People forget us within days and the world goes on like nothing happened. Now compared to this man whos body was found like 70 years after he died and it was well preserved in the icy mountain top. While he kept the whole world doing research on him even after he died he left a mystery for the world to figure out...people are writing books about him. We still know a person by the name of George Mallory lived in this planet....why?? how?? simply because he followed his dreams despite the risks that he faced. If he refused to take that risk and chose to live with his family....yes of course he might have lived another 50 or 60 years...but would we be talking about him today?? 

No, because no one talks about anyone who has simply lived long without any passion. Of course we cant all climb the Everest. But we do all have a passion. Some of us simply ignore that passion and bury the little dreams to have a "normal" life. Then we complain that life is unfair or boring! What can life do...when we keep taking diversions at every exciting path it puts in front of us!! 

Passion is not only about wanting to achieve super huge things like becoming a super star or legend. Its about loving the roses on our path. Its about looking at the beauty of life. Its about enjoying the privilege of being on this planet ...its about having interest to know what all this is!! Its about wondering how on earth are those stars shining for a billion years...Its about admiring the full moon even from the little hut we live in. Its about being passionate about everything! From food, to clothes....colours and animals, people and trees....the rain or shine ...the nature in all. When we are passionate ...no days would seem ordinary anymore. Every minute can be joyous. Only then ...our hearts would come to know what we want most....then we will identify our true passion and then we can follow it. And once we are on that path...everything else falls beautifully in its place and life starts making sense. And only then, we start living.....till then we are merely dragging ourselves from day to day.

Some might argue that life is so hectic now and how is it possible to find our passion amidst the chaos. I think it is chaotic because no one is following their passion. Everyone is crammed up in one standard path of making money and nothing else. So of course the path is crowded and chaotic. If each and every one followed their passion there would be a thousand other paths to take and every path would be beautiful and calm. We are suffocating ourselves by walking in the crowd. Lets get out of it while we can. It is not impossible...again..there will be risks...but i would rather be preserved on the top of Everest for 100 years then to be gone with the wind in a minute :) Woudnt you!!?

:)

And the Mountains Echoed

Have been walking the streets of Kabul and through the mountains of the Shadbagh village in Afghanistan. At the end of this trip i find that this trip wasnt as haunting as the "Thousand Splendid Suns" or the " The Kite Runner". Either i have grown stronger when it comes to Afghan stories or the author decided to have some mercy for his readers this time...i really cant say. But one thing for sure, i will always remember beautiful Pari and her loving brother Abdullah who tells her bedtime stories.

I will not get into details of the story for you can always find them in the net. This story is based on the relationship of a 10 years old brother and 3 years old Sister who are separated when their father had to sell his daughter to a childless couple in Kabul. 

For some reason, this story reminded me of my mother  ! No she was not sold to anyone, but was married when she was just 14 and taken away from her parents and her only younger brother and brought to Malaysia. And those days, there were no means of communication as there is today. This village in India she is from is so remote without electricity or clean water supply. It was totally like a national geographic experience when i first set my foot there 20 years ago. And now when i read this book , i could really feel the ties to my mother land and also the pain of being separated from your loved ones at such young age. I can imagine how my mother would have felt. Taken away almost forcefully , when she was not ever aware of what marriage even meant ! But she had no say in it. 

Her parents were poor and they did what was best for her. They wished she would escape the harsh life over there. And yes of course she did...because my father made sure she got better food, clothes and life over here. But then , he was not able to erase that resentment built in her heart for being the reason she was ripped apart from her parents and brother. No matter how well she was doing here, she couldnt let go of the thought of having her mother with her all the while !

She visited them only once every 10 years...! Situation was such, because my father is the eldest son and the only one working then , everyone else was still in school or college.There was 10 people to feed and clothe. And yet, he managed to save enough to buy a terrace house in the most expensive housing area those days. I was born in this new house and brought up there, my parents and brother still live there today. So, with such responsibilities i cant blame my father for not being able to send my mother to visit her parents more often. But he did send some food supplies for my grandparents in India like Milo, milk powder and so on all packed in boxes and couriered. He helped them in anyway he could afford like during festivals or when they fell ill. And yet nothing he did satisfied my mother. Till today she feels she was snatched away from her family and regrets the whole marriage thing. I cant blame her either ! 

I am only glad that i met my grandparents 20 years ago and spent 2 months with them. That was the most consoling thing for my mother because my grandparents both passed away the very same year !! just about 2 or 3 months after we came back to Malaysia, both my grandparents had chicken pox and they passed away one after the other ! 

The saddest thing is, the rest of her relatives in India advised her not to attend the funeral in India, because the whole village was effected by chicken pox. So mother was not able to say goodbye to both her parents :( Seriously how sad is that ! She cried helplessly thousands of miles away, wishing she could look at their faces one last time and to touch them one last time before they are erased from the face of the world..! But no it didnt happen. She hugged me and cried uncontrollably..and i was not at all prepared to console her..i mean what do you say ??? Its ok ? It happens? Its best that they are gone ?? Its fair that you never spent more time with them ?? 

i had no idea what to say to her...i just hugged and cried with her. Thats all i could do. But still, I thanked God for the timely trip we planned to visit them just in time to say goodbye or they would have never seen their grand daughter ! The two months we spent there was so fun, chatting and laughing and travelling around together. I didnt mind the tiny shack with just one bulb for light and no water supply..simply because of the neverending supply of love and care i received ! Father bought them everything they wanted...sweaters for my grand pa, sarees for grandma, food, blankets , towels, and so on. They were so excited that we all three were there for 2 months. So, somehow, God knows best. He planned the trip knowing that it would be the only chance ! And even mother was a little consoled because she was with them just before they passed away. 

Today, her only family left is her younger brother, now working in Singapore and thanks to Air Asia and super cheap phone charges...she has been visiting her relatives in India more often and also communicates with them regularly. Though i wish it happened while her parents were still alive. But thats life, we simply have to live with whats possible at the moment. 

So the question is, was it worth getting their daughter married off and sent far away for a better life ? Was the good food and clothes and living condition worth more than being with your parents ? I dont know ...i really dont. But one thing for sure, i would not have existed if my grandparents decided not to let her go :) 

ermmm...again was it worth it ??? :) hahahha...as always ...some questions have no answers...we just have to live with the questions itself...and leave the rest to nature :)

And like the title of the book ..the decision my grandparents made..has echoed into my life...they decided that i should be here ...this moment , writing this part ....

its interesting , isnt it ? :)

Seen "Shooting Clouds" ?? :)

I learnt my ABCs and 123s when i was 6 years old , many parents those days skipped sending their children to pre school. So they went to school only when they turn 7.  there were so many who didnt know their alphabets or numbers in standard ONE . So those of us who went to kindergarten were considered lucky ! We were a tiny bit further then the rest.

Children nowadays, would laugh at you if you are SEVEN years old and dont know your ABCs because parents are sending them to learn how to read as young as 4 , even 3 ! By the time they are SEVEN and go to school, they are already reading fluently both in English and Bahasa Malaysia. They can count up to 100 and do simple maths. 

But then, i cant help wandering, if this whole new way of educating is entirely doing good for the growth of a child. Because , i remember running around the garden, chasing butterflies, catching tadpoles to be kept in a bucket  of water thinking it is fish !! I also remember looking at the stars and the moon with amazement , collecting dry leaves and seeds to play "cooking" . I remember collecting the "Kerang" shells at home and arranging it on the ground to make designs. I remember a whole lot of time spent creating my own little games using broken branches or old pots and pans. And all this happened when  i was below 6 years old ! I guess i got to do all that because i was not forced to memorize alphabets and numbers or recognize pictures of animals to impress the lady next door :)

I was free to discover the world for myself and however i wished to interpret it, i remember being amazed at the shooting clouds ( hahhaa...yes thats what i thought it was ! ) when only much later i realised it was actually a plane flying through the clouds which creates a straight white line in the sky . Seriously , tell me if children below 6 nowadays have the privilege to even notice if the skies are blue ?? let alone spotting any " Shooting clouds " :)

Most parents and teachers know that the first 6 years is crucial to the development of a child. Isnt it best for a child to slowly learn their environment by touching , feeling , smelling observing and seeing for themselves. ? 

What i cant watch is when , ladies or mothers are at a function or a party with their kids and they start telling each other :

" Ohh...my kid could count up to 10 and his only 3 now !! " and the other one says..." hah ! mine too, children nowadays are just so smart, not like us those days anymore. It has to be the better living conditions and good food they get now "

And i am like...Huh? Good food !? really? Good food was from my grandpas vegetable patch and the free range chicken my grandma use to cook for the whole family. What good food do we get now that could possibly make children more intelligent ?  If yes, then how come the whole world is complaining about pollution and hazardous commercially farmed animals ?? Is that really making children more intelligent? 

I dont think children are more intelligent now...children have been children all the time, its just that those days, parents did not shove letters , numbers and images into their heads even before they could say MAMA or DADA ! I am just wandering if we are blocking the natural path to grow by doing this. How could they be interested in the flowers when they are head is full of ABCs , numbers and images of blue elephants and purple dinosaurs ! 

Is this why children are becoming more and more demanding at a very young age ? Coz they seem to have skipped that part of being just Children ! We are not even giving them the opportunity to grow into this beautiful world gracefully with the fragrance of flowers, softness of the grass, speaking with the wind, and basking under the sun ...no we are throwing them right into the mouths of life in a shocking state and i am not surprised if they are terrified of it ! They want everything NOW, they want everything their WAY ! They are running after life like its a race ! seriously what is the rush...we are going to live with alphabets , numbers and gadgets all our life...so why not let the first 6 or at least 5 years free and easy ? what could possibly go wrong if we do that...all the most important science discoveries and developments of the world has happened in times when children didnt go to school till they were SEVEN. So why all the mad rush now ?? Why all the competition ??   

Of course i am not trained in any children psychology or montessori system or whatsoever, so this is only my own observation and thoughts :)  But i do hope parents would take it easy and let kids be kids, so they would feel connected to this life and feel their souls attached before they learn the ABCs.

Alphabets doesnt guarantee happiness but a happy soul does ! Let the child recognize itself before it sees the rest. I am sure they will grow beautifully !

  

LACKADAISICAL ????

Ive always been fascinated by this word " LACKADAISICAL" ! It 

just sounds so good when you say it ! kind of musical and ive 

also always wandered why it should mean " Lack of interest/ 

enthusiasm" ?? 

So, last weekend i put it up on my FB status and asked 

my friends what they thought it should mean instead of "lack of 

interest". And here are the answers i got ...Just sharing it here for fun...:)

( sorry about the alignment....something wrong with the setting coz i cut and paste from my FB page :) )

 

FB STATUS :

I find the the word " lackadaisical" too interesting to mean lack of interest !! what a waste for such a beautiful word 

Like ·  · Promote · Share

• 
  TRINA : Sounded like an ice-cream!! haha

  
  ME : to me it sounds like birds singing  but i like the ice cream too !!! hahahha....
• 
  Su LI : You're so right! What a waste of a beautiful word!
• 
  ME :  right ?? what would you prefer it to mean Su ? 
• 
  TRINA :  a flower, too.. it sounded flowery!! Hahaha 
• 
  Su Li: a day lacking in woes and struggles, strolling in the meadows filled with yellow daisies, the sound of humming bees, the scent of horses and the promise of an English pub at the end of a long and silent solo walk in the Yorkshire dales...
• 
  ME : ahh...i am feeling "lackadaisical" already Su ..
• 
  
• Joethi : Sounds like a nice bicycle ride

  
  ME: Yes Joethi ! it does ! 
• 
  ME : Joethi, imagine saying " lets plan a "lackadaisical" outing this weekend?" hhahaha...sounds so nice....!
• anyway, i found this info on the net : This funny-sounding adjective came about in the eighteenth century from the interjection lackaday, which was an old fashioned way of saying "oh man!" or "unfortunately."
• 
  Trina :  Lackaday!!!
• 
  Joethi :  Lets plan Anu, but dunno if I still remember riding or that I have balancing still
• 
  Me :  haha Joethi...of course you will rmbr ! thats the beauty of riding...once u got it ,you will never go off balance ! Like swimming too...but just one problem...got to go get a bicycle ! 
• 
  Julia Mayer :  Daisies 
• 
  Vimalah :  " like a daisy girl"!
• 
  Julia Mayer :  Love it!