Stay Where You Are!

Recently, i got a new book shelve for my living room and was arranging my books in it. That's when i noticed the kind of books I've been reading over the years. They dint seem to fit into any category in particular...from biographies and historical fictions to crime and sports, the lighter Sophie Kinsella series or romantic I heart London and even Children's books like Narnia mingled with spiritual books as well. So, this funny thought came to my mind about what people would say when they see the collections I've read?? Coz I've heard people say, you can tell a lot about a person from the kind of books they read. And what would they say about me?? So, i decided to take a picture of a few books from different genres and post it on my FB and ask my friends what they thought of me :P 

Here's the pic:

I got some interesting replies from friends like Saras, who said i was trying to connect all of it to something which i am in search of....and Joethi said ..i was a spirit of lightness and joy...and Lavanya said i was SEARCHING, and so on.

But the interesting thing is, more than my friends, i saw something new about myself from the picture which i did not see before! :) 

I realised that i placed all books at random spots except one, which is Osho's Krishna. I started the arrangement by first putting Krishna in the center then went on adding the others...So i realised that i have found what i was looking for all these years in Osho's Krishna. This book is 688 pages and its quite impossible to share the best parts coz theres just too much. So i will not quote from the book but i will just try to share in my own words what it says..

This book particularly says, we should live life as a whole, not just accepting some parts and rejecting others...no....we take all good, bad, pure or evil in the same light. Not easy yes! but not impossible either...! If God intended only good things to prevail...He had all the power to create only good things...he would have made us all angels...why bother creating evil only to be overcome by goodness..?? why would HE do that?

It makes sense that the universe can only work with both good and bad...that's life as it is! But when we keep fighting with everything bad, we kind of loose the zest to enjoy the good! coz we are too tired fighting, drained and left to drag ourselves through the good. This should not be misunderstood as being passive. It doesnt mean when you see cruelty you ignore and go on with life. No...it doesnt mean that. It means...you act according to what the moment demands...if you see a puppy being abused you save it of course! but you dont brand life as evil just because one person abused a puppy. You also dont brand life as Good simply because you saved it...no you dont brand! You just act and get on to the next scene. No need to be angry...no need to bang your head and cry over it..that moment was done...now next! yes thats what it means...

And in this particular book, Osho says, Krishna is LIFE. That's why he reflects everything...He is a little naughty boy stealing butter, a handsome youth drawing gopis to Him, a warrior at war in Mahabaratha, and yet he dances and plays his flute in joy...He is not sitting under a tree meditating...no ...He is simply living through joyously everything that is good and bad, whatever the moment demands...that He is! Isn't that beautiful!? That's what everything else in the universe is doing but human beings. Being spontaneous is what life is about...like the river...curve when needed..splash over when obstructed ...fall at the edges...rise over the boulders and simply flow with the current.. then merge with the ocean!!

So, coming back to the picture. I realised that i have consciously put Krishna in the center and everything else at random. And that is life. We need to face, accept, endure, strive, enjoy and witness everything that happens around us from the center. For as long as we know the center we will not be drawn out into any direction. We will not get lost...We will come back with every experience. And better still, if we can stay in the center at all times...no running out or running in. simply stay where we are! Because the center of our being is pure joy! we are the center of our universe. That's the magic of life...everyone has a center and yet it is all just one field. Its us who keep running around and feeling miserable. We can work on the radius...if we have been running so far out...now its time to make the distance a little closer to the center....and gradually i am sure we can come back...yes not easy...yet not impossible! 

So....till we meet again...

Stay Where You Are! :D   

Stand out :)

Been going for morning walks at the Lake Gardens at Subang Jaya and have been enjoying not only the exercise but also the lovely sights of the lake with Lotus flowers and the beautiful sunrises. Just like that, two weeks ago i was there, waiting for my friend Joethi to join me while hubby decided to walk first i was just standing by the lake looking at the morning blooms.

I usually do not carry my phone when i go walking but on that day, i decided to have it since my friend was not there yet and she might call me when she gets to the car park area. As i was looking at the lovely pink lotus flowers bloomed i noticed something for the first time. At first i was looking at one part of the lake where there were lots of leaves, buds and flowers clustered and as i shifted my gaze towards the right of the lake, i noticed ONE flower standing out alone! So i took a few steps towards the right and a little closer to the edge of the lake to have a better look at this flower. I thought it looked extra special so decided to take a picture of it. As i snapped the first pic with my mobile and looked at the image i realised something interesting. The reflections of course. The reflection of the fully bloomed flower, the bud and also the of pieces of wood that were stuck in the lake were so clear. Then, i looked to my left at the cluster again and found that none of the flowers or the buds were able to reflect as perfectly as the one flower that stood alone.

At that moment, i sensed the lotus saying this to me:

"Clear the cluster in your heart and mind, free yourself from the crowd. MOVE! have some space! Keep the buds but at a distance, watch them bloom and rejoice in its beauty but stand apart, be with yourSELF! your soul needs space to be able to reflect. You have everything you need to be able to reflect. So MOVE. Move within yourself till your find that space. Enough crowd, enough mess, enough! Time to let yourself to be seen. When theres space, everything gets its share of beauty, the buds or the pieces of woods all get to reflect beautifully and then you have created a kind of wholeness in that beauty"

Hmmm....so yes, that's what the lotus said to me:)

And i thought, how true is that. We all need space, and by space i don't mean physically. Its mentally and spiritually. We hold too much in our hearts that theres no space for reflection. We hold parents, brothers, sisters, children, husband and wife or even friends including their problems and our problems all in a messy cluster! 

We fail to see that everything and everyone has their place and we need to have that space between us no matter what the relationship is. Everyone needs that space to reflect. When we are overly attached to someone or something we are constantly blocked by emotions which creates such a messy cluster of thoughts and thats where we dwell day in and day out. Then we wonder why we get so tired by the end of the day! hahha...

That doesnt mean we cant have the leaves and buds with us. We can have them all at a beautiful distance in our mind. Then we get a better view in fact! We can watch them bloom, and also be able to look at our own reflection. Only then theres beauty in the lake of life! Otherwise its just mere clusters! 

So lets learn how to stand out, bloom and reflect! In order to do that we first need to know that EVERY one has their own beauty and we cant capture them to live in our own shadow forever. Thats not fair, we need to learn how to let go and let things happen for ourselves as well for others. That way, there will be less conflict, less misunderstandings, less tension and of course more LOVE! :)

Happy reflecting yourself :D 

PraNam

When i was about 3 or 4 years old...just like most kids i loved the toy guitar. I would be so careful when i play with it as the strings were made of plastic and it was quite fragile. I would tighten the strings pretending to tune the guitar to the right tone...but guess what! none of my guitars would last more than a week....why?? Because i have a brother of course!! He would somehow break the strings or the whole guitar itself. And those days parents dont buy toys weekly or daily...so i will have to wait for another birthday or for some gifts from uncles or friends before i could play with another guitar. 

Funny thing is i never complained much about it...whenever my brother broke my toy...i would cry but i will not insist they buy me a new one. I somehow understood that i will have to wait for it no matter how much i wanted it.

Then when i grew up to be about 6 or 7 i was very interested to learn how to play piano. Ermm i dont mean the toy but the real one...i never had a toy piano! I kept telling my mum that i wanted to learn how to play the piano. But well, piano was expensive. Something i did not know then of course. But since i mentioned it so often, one day my mum decided to take me to a nearby music school. We walked from home...i remember it so well because i was SO excited. 

Walked across the huge playground in front of my house and through the narrow lanes between the terrace houses, building up the excitement as we got nearer to the row of sundry shops. One of those shop lots was a music school. A small one of course but the moment i saw the 3 or 4 pianos on the ground floor my heart started beating fast. I couldnt believe i was getting that close to a piano! As we entered, a young chinese lady greeted us with a smile. Mum asked her in her broken English mixed with Malay....Ada piano class ah? How much fees ah? And the lady says RM25 per month. All these happening while i was standing with my mum, holding her hand tight, feeling a little nervous and excited too. Then this piano teacher shows us the pianos and plays a note or two and asks my mum if she wishes to register me for the classes. And i was looking at both of them and the piano and almost believed that i would hear my mum say "YES" 

Next thing i realized, i was walking home still holding her hand tight and having this strange uncomfortable feeling which only MUCH later i recognized it to be "SAD". "Too expensive maa...maybe can join later ok". Those were the words (of course in tamil) which crushed my heart and yet i did not show her my disappointment. I did not cry but i remember how heavy i felt my heart then! 

Then somehow i never asked again especially after i grew up to know how much a piano costs, i knew i cant insist on it. But thankfully dance came as a rescue! started attending indian classical dance classes when i was 16 and that went on and on like forever, even after i got married...so somehow i ignored my interest in music.

But whenever i watched a show or someone play an instrument.... i always felt a little sad for not learning myself. I always told myself that i must learn how to play an instrument! And since the beginning of this year...the urge to learn music got a little intense and i was like craving for it. But i wasnt sure about where to go. I had "Veena" in mind and was browsing for names of teachers and schools around KL. But somehow wasnt happy with any of the links i came across..it was either too far from my place or the time or day of classes werent suitable or simply that i had no idea who the guru was. So finally one day as i was praying in my pooja room, looking at Goddess Saraswati with her Veena in hand...i told her "Please maa, find me a guru, will wait for a sign from you! as i am feeling lost about where to go" :) Then i just went on not thinking much about it for another month or so when one day, as i was chatting with my good friend Joethi over the phone, she says " Anu, cant go walking on wed coz i have sitar class on that day"  And i was like " huh?? you are taking sitar classes??" Where?? WHo??? And she tells me ..."going to Samuel J. Dass's beginners classes" And my eyes widened in disbelief " OMG! are you serious?!! you are going to THE Samuel J Dass's class???

 I never thought he would have classes for adults like us as he will have lots of young and upcoming students to focus on which was One reason why i never called him! But here my friend tells me that he does have classes for adults and i can join too! That moment, i heard Goddess Saraswati speaking through my friend! Really...thats exactly how i felt! So,I told her, ok i will join classes soon. Hung up and thanked Goddess Saraswati for the quick response ;)

The following week i followed my friend to the class just to observe and to let him know that i am interested to join. That was my first time meeting him and i couldnt believe that it was happening for real. Not just about meeting him but that i was actually going to learn from him!! 

When the class was over, my friend gave me the sitar to hold, just to have a feel of it. And she even snapped a pic of me :) My first ever time touching a sitar actually. Felt so beautiful even though i couldnt play a single note yet then. The instrument surely has a divine energy which recognizes your soul...

So, its been a month now and i am loving the sound so much though it is only the basic notes of Sa re ga ma pa dha ni.  Coz listening to the notes coming from your own fingers is simply amazing! :D

Then about 3 weeks back Master Samuel had a concert organized as a soft launch for the Swara Community Arts Centre which will be opened by end of this year. This show was called Pranam which means the beginning. And it was also my first time watching a sitar concert live. And it was so joyous...i loved it! Just loved every piece he played! Though i wouldnt understand the science of it or the nuances yet...it just got my soul dancing in joy.  

It so happened that as i was browsing for master Samuel's you tube videos of his pass performances i came across this one video of him playing the raga Sindhu Bhairavi. Now, i have no idea what the raga is about ...what are the swaras or the characters or the mood or whatsoever. And yet i was drawn to it like though it was communicating with me...it was surely speaking with me...i closed my eyes and let it speak....what i heard may not be anything that i could put in words...( not that i am that good with words anyway:P) 

But i know for sure it said something like this...

"Look! ...how the river flows through the zigzag of its path...over the rocks and boulders not caring an ounce about the angry earth spewing fire through volcanoes...or the storms and tornadoes that rips life apart.....no, the river unaffected by its surroundings flows joyously in its path ...faces everything that comes its way, and yet goes on and on for it knows the truth....the ocean. So why are you holding back....LET GO like the river, never mind whats happening around you. Stay on your path and flow joyously"

If you dont believe me...listen to this..you have to listen to the whole thing especially from the 2nd min....then tell me if you dont hear it speak :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNl0s59DDzQ&sns=fb


Anyway...then as i was watching Pranam...he announced the final piece of the concert he was about to play and it was Raag Bhairavi! And he played the exact piece which i heard on you tube But this time, hearing it live....i couldnt hear a single word...no it wasnt speaking anymore because it was absolutely blissful...no words needed..you could only feel it with your soul. Really if you think i am exaggerating, then do listen to the link above!

So once again, thanks to my friend Joethi who in the form of Goddess Saraswati, introduced me to this blissful music and master! Hope to post a piece i play myself sometime (ermm it mite be in years...but the soonest possible ok ! :)