Cosmic Injustice?

While reading this book about experiences of a guy with nature, i came across this term which caught my attention and made me sit wondering about a lot of things for a few minutes...

"COSMIC INJUSTICE" ....yes think about it for a bit before you read on. :)

Another paragraph which made more sense to what i was wondering about:-

"What is it about our species that allows us to watch sitcoms and argue over sports while cultures and creatures and those things meek and green and good are chopped, shot, and burned from the world for a buck? Why is it that we so revere compassionate, heroic characters in literature and theory but practice such arrant apathy?"

Just think about it, this world is made of a million things, all alive in its own way but with ONLY one form of life that does not live according to its natural ways...HUMAN BEINGS...all animals live in their own ways according to the characteristics of the species it belongs to, they eat the same time type of food, built nests the same way, live in the same habitat. We don't see vegetarian lions, or meat eating goat, all hyenas laugh the same way, all cuckoos sing the same tune. They simply stick to their nature. They don't act differently. 

Same goes to all kinds of plants, roses are roses, lilies are lilies, they don't cross their boundaries, all permanently stuck in its only reality, no way out. If you are a rose, no matter how beautiful you are, you will just be a rose forever! you will not explore or experience the nature of Lotus, of being soaked in mud and to bloom with the sun! No such thing is allowed. Nature has decided the fate and that's the END!
 
But HUMAN BEINGS!  You can be anything you want to be! You are planted with PASSION in your heart, that one thing other life forms are not packed with! They merely live to spend their lifetime. Trapped in their own ways of life. They cant get out of it! They dont experience ecstasy! But we are allowed to go beyond! And to rejoice in every moment lived with passion! Most people are trapped just like the roses and lotuses, though beautiful, it is still a prison. Why stay trapped when we are allowed to explore! Theres SO much to experience! Endless!! and the good news is we are allowed to! Then why stay trapped!? I don't get it! I seriously don't! 

And then, locking ourselves in our own prisons, we say "Life is unfair" hello!! If only you can hear life screaming at us "Get out of your head!! get into your soul!! IT IS ALL THERE!! 

Just think, why would nature create a species only to let it suffer! If we were to only breed and die like all other animals and plants then why give us sixth sense, why let us feel what the others don't, why make us see what others don't, why such variety among the same species, some are yogis, some are scientist, some are artists. Why give us the brains that can build rockets, and to explore the space. Why let us discover electricity if its going to pollute the environment? Why allow such criminals who kill animals for money, why create the villains!! Why not create a standard human being who acts exactly the same, lovable, just eating, breeding and lazing around like animals!? Wouldn't planet Earth be safer that way, no one to destroy the amazon, no one killing the elephants for ivory, no one killing sharks for its fin! SIMPLE! is it not? And we think nature is so dumb to have created a species who can be self destructive. And we have this group of people who are trying to save the planet! Hello again! We are the last thing nature can count on to save itself! So stop being such a hero!

We cant reverse the technology...we cant even live without a mobile phone. We cant imagine a world without electricity. We need the taps and running water, we need the heaters, we need the vehicles. No matter how much we love nature, its impossible to reverse everything that has been created.

My question is, why do we think nature was not aware of what is was getting into by creating us. It seems to me, more like it has put us here for a reason. We may not live to see it, but it is sure getting somewhere. At the rate science is going now, imagine the world 50 years from now! Do you seriously believe, planting a thousand trees a year is going to change that??

I don't think so. I think it is going where it wants to go, we may call it destructive, but probably it is not! What if it is building an entire new world with a different kind of species with higher intelligence?! Who can adopt to places further away from planet earth? People are breaking records in sports every year, what exactly is the limit, we don't know! So , what if nature does want us to go beyond our limits to a place destined, which only nature herself would know. What if Earth is just a training ground?? :)

The universe cant be wrong, it is too systematic to make such foolish mistakes...it could have killed us all in a blink if it wanted to. But no, its waiting, ever patiently for it to happen naturally. WHY?

It is not a Cosmic Injustice! It is destiny, not only of human beings but of the universe. We are just playing parts! No one is a saint, no one is a hero, no one is a sinner, no one criminal! Everyone is simply doing their part, like it or not! And without realising, we are helping the universe reach its destiny! That's what we are! A tool!

Or at least that's what i think we are :) :) 
 

Warrior Princess

When I spotted this book in the shelves of MPH bookstore, I just walked straight to the counter with it to pay while Nantha was looking at me in disbelief....."huh! You got your book already" hahaha yeah...coz I usually go through every book in the shelves before I find the one I really like. But hey, check out this synopsis and tell me if you would bother looking for a better one.

"Warrior Princess is the funny and inspirational memoir of Mindy Budgor , a young entrepreneur tired of having a job to have a job, who decides to make changes in her life. While waiting for her business school applications to go through, she decides to volunteer in Africa, helping build schools and hospitals in the Maasai Mara. When living and working with the Maasai, Mindy asks the chief why there are no women warriors. He responds simply and derisively: because women are not strong enough or brave enough.

Mindy immediately realizes her calling and thus begins her adventure to become the first female Maasai warrior. As a result of this training and advocacy, the Maasai in Loita, Kenya, are leading the charge to change tribal law to allow women to become Maasai warriors. Mindy as a tribe member is ready to return to stand with her fellow warriors against whatever opposition they might face. Be it lions, or elephants, or western influence."

"Do you want to be a doctor or teacher"? Was the only options given to me when I was a child. And I honestly grew up having no idea that a lady can be anything but a doctor or a teacher....Hahahaha...imagine your parents asking you "do you want to go live in a jungle and learn the way of life?" How it would excite the spirits of a child!! 

We tend to limit our vision about life into a set of routine so it looks systematic and smooth. But then LIFE is WILD. That's why we face so many obstacles on the way. Life gets bored with routine. It loves spontaneity...it loves surprises....it loves changes! No two rocks are identical...every wave in a ocean is different in its strength, no two leaves are exactly the same size or colour...every stream changes its path as the water keeps flowing over the rocks, the whole universe keeps creating new life and yet we human beings belief in so called "systems" which keeps us trapped ...with our spirits screaming from within. We so adamantly try to stay in our so called safe zone. 

Life keeps throwing rocks at us so we will move but we hold on to the "normal",  crying and screaming but refusing to let go. Then life has no choice but to drag us forcefully and throw us in the middle of some unknown path where everything looks new....the people, the environment, the mood, all new. We stand up feeling lost for a while. And then we begin to SEE what we have been missing while we were in our "safe zone".

Then, we start walking in our brand new world step by step, learning and unlearning along the way. Then we SEE the dance of life. Then....we HEAR the music.....then we EXPERIENCE the love. For the first time....we feel ALIVE!! For the first time we feel the JOY! For the first time, we feel HUMAN! Then we say thank you a million times for every rock that hit us every teardrop we shed, every painful moment we went through for without them we will never reach!

So, let your soul guide you to your destiny, just hang in there light and easy so you can be drifted effortlessly. Stop clinging on to something so tight that life has to tear you apart before it could get you going. Let go....trust the flow....and go with it. And enjoy the process, at every point, find the joy in being right where you are! stop chasing....stop resisting! And watch what happens!! 

A Sudden Clash of Thunder

I usually have a pencil and ruler with me while reading such books, just to mark words i might want to share or read again later. Usually it is like a few lines after every few page which catches my attention but with this book, i ended up having to underline something in almost every other page!! I almost gave up underlining them, as the whole book was filled with eye opening messages and breathtaking words, i couldn't decide which not to mark! 

It was not A sudden clash of thunder but a series of thunder clashing over and over!

All my life, what i heard about meditation is, to quiet the mind, to drop the mind, to stop the mind, to be against the mind in order to find peace. And every time anyone tries to meditate their first complaints would include..."My mind wont stop thinking" and they get frustrated after trying forcefully to stop these thoughts from flooding their head. The more they try, the more difficult it becomes. And the whole effort of "finding peace" becomes a burden. Its almost like we were better off NOT trying to meditate. Well i am glad i didn't go that far, i never forced myself to meditate, i somehow felt that it will happen when i am ready and forcing will not help. But until i read this book i had no idea that the WHOLE approach to drop the mind is wrong! Before i tell you why please read this part from the book which left me speechless!

"No-mind is not against mind; no-mind is beyond mind. No-mind does not come by killing and destroying the mind. No mind comes when you have understood the mind totally that thinking is no longer needed- your understanding has replaced it

If i  am to explain the above message in my own words, i would say its just like cooking :) why? If you really know cooking, then you would love cooking without a recipe, you just throw in a little bit of this and that and you will find yourself getting the ingredients needed automatically. Your hand simply moves to the shelves and grabs the spices needed, you don't stop to think...what next? You don't think how many spoons of this or that? Have you noticed that most people who can cook well will never measure the salt or spices using the spoons...they just sprinkle or pour in the right amount without measuring. Because you have understood the recipe so well you don't need to think...it comes naturally. Its less stressful and it becomes a joy to cook. But to those who can't cook. They will need to think of the dish at least a day ahead and then keeping the recipe with them while cooking. They are stressed about following the instructions, one spoon or quarter spoon...have i added too much salt or too little spice, have i missed out any ingredient. Your mind goes on and on worrying about cooking...and most of the times the dish doesn't turn up as it should be. And that's frustrating.  

So just like that, we need to understand the mind first before we even sit to meditate. If we have no idea what the mind is, then how can we go beyond! 

How do we understand the mind? Simply follow Osho's words. Just watch it. Watch the thoughts that pops up, let it be...let it happen...let it go as much as it wants. Stop forcing yourself to stop these thoughts...and gradually it will slow down by itself. Here's the part that explains it beautifully:-

"When something happens without any violence it has a beauty of its own, it has a natural growth. You can force a flower and open it by force, you can pull the petals of a bud and open it by force-but you have destroyed the beauty of the flower. Now it is almost dead. It cannot stand your violence. The petals will be hanging loose, limp, dying. When the bud opens by its own energy, when it opens of its own accord, then those petals are alive."

And another very important fact to take note is, people tend to feel guilty about certain thoughts that comes to them. They cant help having a certain thought which maybe considered "immoral" and they will feel bad for having such thoughts and feel they are not fit to be  called "Pure" but the good news here is, our thoughts are not our true selves. Thoughts can be provoked by a million things we see, hear and experience but what we are at the core remains untouched. But we tend to identify ourselves based on our thoughts which is only on the surface of it...go deeper and we will see the real person! Here's a part that explains it:-

"And nothing is wrong-even if immoral thoughts, so called immoral thoughts, pass through your mind, let them pass; nothing is wrong. You remain detached. No harm is being done. It is just fiction; you are seeing an inner movie. Allow it its own way and it will lead you, by and by, to the state of no-mind. Watching ultimately culminates in no-mind"

That's good news, isn't it?? :) Ive read about watching the mind in many other books of Osho and have been doing just that for sometime. It is a slower process but it works wonders! You become a lot more relaxed, joyous and light. What happened to me is, the less i bothered about the thoughts that comes to my mind, the less the confusion about everything that happens daily got, and in that way, i safe my energy to do the things i love and i am able to go on day to day...moment to moment joyously. Let thought be thoughts. Let it not touch what we are within. What we are within is LOVE and nothing but LOVE...lets get there :) 

THE EMPTY BOAT

Just finished reading this book and as always its been another unlearning process with Osho. While we think its important to learn about life, OSHO makes you realise again and again that all you need to do is "Unlearn" because we all come into life as natural beings with all that we need to be happy for the rest of our life but unfortunately we are distracted by the so called "learning" process which shapes us into everything but our nature!

This is book is mainly his interpretations of Taoist message of self-realization through the stories of the chinese mystic, Chuang Tzu.

3000 years ago, these messages has been available and yet human kind have been missing it again and again, centuries after centuries, and we have gone so far with the mind that its almost impossible to see how simple life is when its natural. Nothing is natural anymore. And i am not not talking about technology...let technology be there. I love the technology but the problem is, we have completely forgotten our nature. Once we are reminded of our true self, technology will get us even further! But we are stuck somewhere in our own web struggling to free ourselves. 

Such books are alarm clocks that screams life into our deadly routine! Waking us up to life as it is! And we begin to see for the first time. Whether we are the richest person around or a beggar on the streets, we all have one natural cycle to complete..it is called LIFE and DEATH. No matter which part of the world, no matter what the weather, no matter who is ruling, no matter what society believes, no matter what race you belong to, male or female ...everything maybe different from one person to another,  and yet we share the same cycle of LIFE and DEATH. No one escapes this basic quality of life. And how we deal with LIFE determines how we would face DEATH. 

We have such precious moments in hand and we go on waiting to live as though we have a part two coming up! What is it you want to do? DO IT NOW! LIVE IT NOW! stop wasting precious moments getting angry about things you cant change! For every one thing in your life which you cant change, you will have 10 other things which you can! So, focus on what you can change, and enjoy it! 

Life is too beautiful to be regretted for a few things that may have gone wrong. Theres so much to experience, so much to love, so much to learn, so much to see, so much to know!!

If you are still not convinced, try doing something you always loved but never did, for the first time! Anything! baking, sewing, reading, travelling, dancing, singing, painting, writing, wearing a saree, swimming, organizing a party, shopping, gardening or just whatever that you love! See how you feel about it...feel the energy it gives, feel the love growing with it. We are born to live, otherwise why are we here??? Nature couldn't have wasted so much time and effort creating something so amazingly beautiful to simply let us suffer through life! No, we are meant to live it all! Its our birthright! No one should be blamed if we don't live it but ourselves...no matter what the excuse we come up with, it is always US who has to decide! NO one else can breathe for you. We breathe, and live for ourselves!

So, start living today! Discover yourself! Live it and LOVE IT!  

Authentic Living

The one question that has been on my mind lately, is WHAT IS SIN? Every culture, every race, every religion has a different idea of what sin is...but then we are all the same HUMAN! So does that mean, i escape a certain sin simply because i happen to be in a certain society by chance! Does nature bother with your religion or culture when it decides to punish you!? All nature sees is HUMAN....so what exactly is SIN?

None of the books i read gave me a satisfactory answer to this question...but i knew it was coming....somewhere, somehow, someone must have the answer. And not surprisingly, i finally found it in Osho's "danger

:truth at work" 

And i actually laughed out loud when i read those lines coz just like answers to all the other complicated questions we ask, this too was SIMPLE!! We as always go on missing the simple answers. You don't have to read scriptures, or memorize vedas, or chant a thousand mantraas to find these answers...its just put at plain sight and yet we go on missing it!

Before i share the answer, just imagine this, the whole world is alive with all kinds of living things, animals and plants, streams and rocks, bugs and insects, mountains and oceans and human beings are a part of this whole but the only difference is ALL other things of this world goes on according to nature EXCEPT we human beings! We have created a million rules to follow (which is all against our nature) and then call it a SIN when we cant follow it!  If such rules were necessary, do you think nature wouldn't have packed it into our system!??

For instance, if we should only be vegetarians, then nature could have easily made our system to only work if we consumed vegetable.....but people who are non vegetarian live on...dont they?? So, how could it be a sin if nature allows it?? Why should it give us a choice if it is not allowed! Nature works in a circle and it sure needs one life eating another. But how we do it is the question. Don't torture an animal before you slaughter it. And don't eat for pleasure which causes all the demand for such torture to take place. Eat what you have to and let other animals live! Isn't that exactly what carnivorous animals are doing? 

I am a vegetarian, not for religious purposes, but i am simply not comfortable eating non vegetarian food. But that doesn't have to work for everyone. If you can take non veg then go ahead but just remember to do it the right way, take responsibility to know where your meat comes from. If it comes from farms where animals are being tortured, stop buying from these sources. When you are aware sharks are being tortured for its fin, then stop consuming shark fin soup! And dont wait for the whole world to stop. YOU stop it first and the world will follow.  Eat moderately and don't waste food, don't eat for fun! Enjoy and respect the food you have. Then theres no place for "SIN"

So heres the answer i found in the book:

"To me there is only one sin, and that is not to be yourself. And to me there is only one virtue, and that is to know yourself. If you are Adam and Eve, just born, just getting out of the Garden of Eden-nobody to ask what to do, nobody to ask what discipline is right, no priest, no rabbi, no pope is available- what are you going to do?

Do that!" 

Does it not make sense?? We have forgotten how to react naturally with a thousand rules contradicting in our heads each time we face a situation in life. We have forgotten how to be natural. We react according to what our parents made us believe, what our society made us believe, cultures, traditions, rules and regulations crowding our head into one gigantic MESS. And then we wonder why life gets so chaotic! How else can it be when everyone we meet, is trying to fit into a different set of messy ideas about life and while we are all entangled in these ideas we forget how to love...which is the ONE most PRECIOUS quality we have. Seriously, do we even remember we are HUMAN BEINGS??? And what we can NATURALLY be??

Go by chapters :)

Its not the first time people have asked me, "How do you have the patience to read books that are almost a thousand pages long!" My answer has always been this "I just go chapter by chapter".

When you keep count of the pages, you would feel like you have a long way to go but when you focus on the chapters you get to the end before you know it! Thats the trick! My aim is not to get to the end of the book as quickly as possible. I just get indulged in each chapter and take in whatever that happens in those pages. I am never eager to know what happens in the end. I am more interested to know how it gets to the end page by page...chapter by chapter. 

Its quite interesting how the mind works with the same total no of pages having different effect on us just by way we approach it! Life itself is just like that! All we need to do is to be in the present and enjoy and do our best day to day...moment to moment..and one day we will get to the end feeling joyful and surprised at how beautiful the journey was. Otherwise, if we are obsessed about what comes next and how it ends ...we are going to miss life happening right now.

This is why i have NEVER approached an astrologist or bothered to follow numerology or palmistry or whatsoever! First of all it spoils the fun by telling us how our life will be! Secondly, i dont trust the accuracy of any readers. I wouldnt want my life to be misread by someone who missed certain nos or calculations! No way! I always loved to see my life unfold day by day with all the little surprises and hidden agendas that keeps me grinning all day! 

Also when it pushes me downhill and gets me rolling helplessly till i hit the bottom, at least i wasnt already expecting it!! It just happens while i am dancing through life like nothing will EVER go wrong! Then i gather my strength to climb the hill again...this time i know where i tripped! So i stay alert but i still dance my way up!

A whole life story is made of short chapters and every chapter is made of a few pages and every page is made of a few sentences...and every sentence is made of a few words! Stay focused on every word....and you will get to the end without any stress! Otherwise you will be drained by the time you get to it. Why be torn between the end and now, when you can just be in the now! Let it be! Whatever it is! And LIVE every word! In the end the chapters will be complete and the book will be done! Surely! 

So dare read books of a thousand page! Go by the chapters and enjoy the pages! And when you get to the very LAST page you will feel such satisfaction for having been through every line with ease and joy! You will never forget the experience....just like life! Live it all! 

See you in the next chapter!! :) 

  

The Places In Between

 

We often have an overview about everything in life. We look at it from a broad point of view where we think we see it all and we make conclusions without even getting close to it. We say things like life is beautiful...or Life is difficult...or Life is a mystery and so on but how many of us are able to SEE why exactly it is "beautiful" or "difficult" or "Mysterious" ?? 

This book is a true account of a traveller who WALKED across Afghanistan, from Herat to Kabul merely accompanied by a dog in 2002 (just after 911) to see what was really going on between these places. Before i go any further i would like to share a quote from this book which is stated as an introduction to the story.

"The country is quite covered by darkness, so that people outside it cannot see anything in it; and no one dares go in for fear of the darkness. Nevertheless men who live in the country round about say that they can sometimes hear voices of men, and horses neighing, and cocks crowing, and thereby that some kind of folks live there, but they do not know what kind of folk they are." 

- The Travels of Sir John Manderville

chapter 28

3 years ago, when i was flying from Malaysia to England i remember how amazed i was when we flew over Afghanistan. All three of us (my aunt, cousin and i) walked to the rear end of the plane to look out through the big window so we could have a better view of the landscape below. That felt pretty amazing...as i watch the endless stretch of mountains with its deep, narrow valleys in between, all looking dry and brown everywhere ...no hint of green with its villages here and there which mostly looked like boxes made of stone and mud-brick, the first thing that came to my mind was an image of a little kite runner, hahaha..couldn't help it! It was truly weird having an overview of a piece of land which contained SO much history!! I was wondering....all these people living below....how do they feel about life? what do they know about whats beyond this land? how do they think? what do they want?? And even more disturbing thought was how many were walking around with guns and bombs at the moment while we were looking from above? 

Though we have some idea of how life is there, from reading Afghan based novels, seeing the place for real, though from a few thousand feet above made a disturbing impact! Wished i was able to snap a pic of the landscape then....but my camera was all packed in the luggage. So here's some pictures from the net i found which looks almost like the view we had. 

So anyway, that experience was like having an overview of a place and knowing that i would most likely never step on the soil to know the real thing, i decided to grab this book the moment i spotted it at big bad wolf sales early this year. And it was great that the story was based on journey by foot!! So, u cant possibly miss anything in between! The villages...the people, the pets and other animals, the landscape...routes, paths, rivers, mountains...historical buildings, food, the culture...language, dressing, religion, political views (if they had any) and understanding of life, believes, traditions and daily conversations....yes EVERYTHING! You get a feel of everything that is going on between these places...from one village to the next...for months after months...by foot. Now i am satisfied! The overview i had now makes a complete picture with whats inside!

Somehow the conclusion i came to was, people in there have absolutely no idea of how life is beyond their land...they live in their own world and don't look to be any likely to being convinced about an alternative view of life. Right or wrong...they are SURE about what they believe in. 

Thanks to the this unbelievable traveller, Rory Stewart who dared take this dangerous journey which gives the world a clearer and detailed picture of life inside of Afghanistan. 

Just like him, we ALL need to take such journeys into life. Not necessarily by foot but by heart and soul. Feel the places in between the moments...touch it...experience it ...live it! Don't glance through life in a hurry! Be into EVERY moment! Walk it barefooted...feel the ground! Make it REAL! Enough overviews...enough blur visions...enough dragging! Get to LIFE now! And....

See you somewhere in between :D 

Naked in Eden

"Can you feel it in your bones? I felt like the forest had been awaiting my arrival" says Robin Easton in this true story about her and her husband who decided to go live in the a rainforest in Australia simply to get in touch with life. 

When i read those lines above, i remembered how i felt when i for the very first time in my life stepped into the rainforest at the National Park. While our guide was leading the way explaining something about the rainforest, i stood right in front of a gigantic bunch of bamboos and the beautiful path that so invitingly leads you deeper into the forest. In amazement i was mumbling over and over "oh my God! this is so beautiful!" And he smiled, nodded and coolly said "yes, it is" I was like how could you be so calm about SUCH beauty? Then i realized he has been going up and down that path for 15 years, everyday. It has become his home. He is not breathlessly crammed up in a concrete jungle like the rest of us in KL. No wonder he could be so calm about it! The forest is calm...and it is contagious! Its nothing like the little hills around KL where we go hiking. No this was really home! Every leaf, branch, trunk, flower, root, or fern was old...as old as life! and you could feel it your bones! yes after about 6 years i finally realised that is how i felt, in my bones! Thanks to Robin Easton for putting it precisely in her book, i didnt know how to explain the feeling before this :)

"Life is curious about itself" 

This is another line in the book which made me think. Its so true. We ARE life and yet WE are curious about life. We are looking for ourselves forgetting that WE ARE IT! what is there to look for? We've got to live it and be it. Nothing to look for....chasing our own tails as Osho says :)

 "Aah, the marvels we take for granted. Could you create a living butterfly? Life isnt only intelligent; it's dazzling creative in its self expression"

She says this after witnessing the miracle of a butterfly emerging out of its cocoon. How the very fragile life flutters out beautifully. Yes, do we even think about it as a miracle nowadays! We have take it for granted. But just for one moment pause to think how amazing a butterfly is! 

When the movie Avatar played in the cinemas, i heard some friends saying..."imagine there really was a world like Pandora" And i told them...what is there to imagine? If there really was a world like Pandora we would have gotten used to it and started destroying it just like what we are doing to Earth now. We wouldnt think it was beautiful or amazing or a miracle. If we can take Earth for granted...what difference would a Pandora make!?? 


"Mother nature doesn't judge, that's a human thing"

Yes, and that is why the human species is still surviving. If nature took revenge, we would not be here for we have been the worst pest infecting the surface. Destroying and polluting earth incessantly, and yet we go on wondering why all the chaos. Ever forgiving mother nature is only trying to help by balancing itself everytime we break her, still, if ever she looses her balance it is not her that is in trouble...she will just make adjustments and go on for another billion years. It is US who are in trouble. For we cant live without oksigen, or rain, or clean air or food. If any one of those changes happen...it is us who will be wiped out ...probably making way to a better species who will be intelligent enough to know how not to interfere with nature :)

Anyway, if you love the rainforest, you will love this book. Awesome experiences in the jungle especially the spiritual ones. How she is connected to the trees...the messages she received. The things she learnt about life. Its all inspiring and joyous. 

I sure loved it!! 
  

Strings Attached

I was at the Big Bad Wolf sales 3 weeks ago....and i was lost the moment i entered the hall as there were thousands of books and i didnt know where to start! After about a minute or two of looking dazed, like a child who had just entered Charlie's chocolate factory, i finally regained consciousness and started looking at the Biographies.  

As i screened through the stacks of books...trying my best not to miss anything interesting hidden behind other books, this particular title caught my attention. "STRINGS ATTACHED" and the cover had an image of violin and a silhouette of a teacher and a young student. Though people say, don't judge a book by its cover, sometimes...covers do matter! Especially when you are having to pick from thousands of books....its the title and the cover which first catches your attention. First it was the image of the violin and the string which got me looking at it since Ive been learning how to play the Indian instrument Sitar for the past few months. So, i picked it out and read the title properly...it said "Strings Attached, One tough teacher and the art of perfection"! Ok now, i was even more interested in this book. Because the first person that came to my mind was not my music teacher but my dance teacher, Ramli Ibrahim from Sutra dance theatre. So, i turned to the back of the book to read the synopsis and it said...

"A Ukrainian-born taskmaster, who yelled, stomped and screamed and who, through sheer force of will, made them better than they had any right to be." 

By now i was like...."ermm...is this really not about Ramli Ibrahim?" hahaha...yeah it sounded so much like him. So in went the book into my trolley. It was the first book i picked out of the 8 books i bought that day :) and it was also the first one i read the moment i got home. 

And when i finished it, i thought ...you CAN sometimes judge a book by its cover :)

I enjoyed every page of it...and it made me realise that Gurus all over the world are just the same. They push their students beyond their limits...till it becomes unbearable for them but those students who are tough enough to endure and move on to continue learning from such gurus definitely become the best performers. Ive seen it happen at Sutra. I truly admire all my seniors there who have endured such discipline and have become tough by the years. And it shows in every production...the absolutely neat performance which comes not only from the endless practices but from the fear of a screaming guru. All senior students in Sutra knows how it feels when master praises them...something which happens SO rarely...you will stand there simply looking at him, too overwhelmed to even say thank you...almost like....ermm... say like how you might feel if you just witnessed the aurora happening right before your eyes! Believe me i am not exaggerating! 

I had the golden opportunity to be part of their major event only once....in 2008 when Sutra Dance Theatre hosted the international odissi festival and i danced at the opening of the event which was held in the Art Gallery of Petronas Twin Tower, KL. What an experience it was! Though the dancing part was joyous, it wasnt easy facing a Guru who roars right into your face! Scary! But then, after the rehearsals, he says to all the students "sometimes i need to push some of you whom i believe is capable of doing better" and i sit there shaken and in the verge of tears but feeling a tiny bit consoled about being screamed at in front of about 50 adults watching you during rehearsal. Yes it wasnt at all easy! And that was just ONCE! ONE beautiful, magical dance moment of my life...and below is a picture my hubby snapped...though not too clear its one of my fav :) And looking at it now..i remember what happened right after the performance. One of our friends who were there watching told me "Your master was standing and watching you as you entered and started dancing" and i froze! i asked her "really! he did that!!" ohh thank God i did not see him....if i had by any chance spotted him while i danced i would have panicked and been frozen just like in the pic below...hahaha. Truly it was by God's grace, i never realised he was watching! ..gosh...those unforgettable and (scary) precious moments :)

But just like how the students of this violin teacher in the book say...such difficult moments somehow eventually toughens you up. You become immune to it, you become stronger, more confident, not only when performing but also in life on the whole! 

Being human, we tend to take things for granted if we are not pushed with such fear. If teachers are too lenient, we decide not to practice and we become lazy. But having to face a tough guru leaves you no choice but to do your best. One day, all such students will thank these tough masters who have shaped their lives! For me, apart from Ramli Ibrahim himself...i have to thank a zillion to my class teacher Tan Mei Mei who assists him. It was because of her, i had the chance to be a part of this event. She really pushed us to finish up the piece which was suppose to be performed at the opening right in time for the audition. Never did i imagine i would have a chance to dance in an international dance festival! It was surely a dream come true!  

So if you want to know....how it is to be a student of a tough teacher....read this book :)

And ohh the other thing i love about the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale is their plastic bags....i usually take my green bags when shopping but this time...i just had to have one of these plastic bags :)

  

The Time Keeper

Ive heard about Mitch Albom and his books for so long but somehow didn't read any of it until last month. But after reading it...especially the part which says "It's never too late or too soon, it is when it is suppose to be"  i realised that now it was time for me to read it. I do believe nothing happens coincidentally. The whole universe is interconnected and is moving in a perfect coordination. So, no chance for accidents!

When i started writing this blog 6 years ago, my inspiration was TIME! Like how we measure everything by putting it in terms of pass, present and future but the only real TIME is always NOW! And what we choose to do right NOW determines what happens in the next moment. And then...all these little "NOWS" form what we call our PAST and eventually we call it LIFE. If you read my tag line for the blog...that's exactly what it says. I remember that was the first ever line i came up with to be written in my blog. But only after 6 years i happen to decide that i would read a book which speaks of TIME in the most interesting way!!

The story was SO interesting that i for the first time in life actually finished a whole book in one sitting! AND theres something else really weird and interesting which happened when i finished the book after 3 hours of reading non-stop. I decided to share about the book on my FB and after posting my message on it i realised that the time was 12.30am! which means i should have finished reading the book around 12.25am!! If you don't see why that's weird......have a look at the picture of the book above. The clock shows 12.26!! Seriously i was shocked! I mean what a coincident....or was it really a coincident?? Or was it a sign / message to prove that TIME is always perfect. Just like how it says in the book "It's never too late or too soon, it is when it is suppose to be" 

The thing is, if we understand that everything happens at the right time, we will not regret our actions in the past. Some mistakes were necessary simply to delay us, so we divert into another dimension of life, guided by all the obstacles we finally reach the place we want to be but we often see the past as mistakes which should have been avoided. But the truth is, without those mistakes we would never get where we got. And once we understand this, we would instantly feel lighter.

I always wondered, how might life be if we never had clocks! And interestingly enough this book is about life when there were no clocks and human beings were not living according to time until this character in the story discovers how the shadows fall on exactly the same spot everyday at certain point, and he started keeping record of it and thus created TIME. The rest of the story is about how he paid for his action for the next few hundred years. How life changed, how people became obsessed with time which eventually led them to stop living altogether. 

We ARE obsessed with time..aren't we?? We eat simply because its lunch time! hungry or not....and we refuse to sleep, if its too early, we have timed ourselves so precisely that actually we have become the clock itself. Our body automatically reacts according to the time we have set for ourselves! Like a robot..

Though its quite impossible to get out of the time frame...we can practice being a little relaxed about it. Ive seen parents stuffing food into the baby's mouth...while they are screaming and refusing to eat...because they believe its time to feed! Poor babies....why is it that we still cant believe that the human body is so natural and all babies would eat when they are hungry. Even a newborn...knows how to cry for milk! So lets not be obsessed with time. Lets just let go a little... and see how the body reacts. And its not only about food or sleeping. Its about everything we do...Feel like watching a movie...go watch...even its 2 am....feel like singing....just sing even if no one is listening. Feel like dancing right after a meal...go on and dance! Just go along with the body and soul and see how much lighter life gets! Lets stop timing ourselves....and others as well! Especially because we already have the most efficient clock working for billions of years....the SUN! Nothing we create can beat its timing...so lets got with it!  :)

And ohh....do read this book!!! its awesome! :D 

The Language of Flowers

Flowers ....the moment we hear the word, we are sure to feel it in our hearts...we may not notice it but it sure happens. That is one reason why we get flowers for almost any occasion, whether happy or sad one, somehow we need flowers. The fragrance, the softness, the colours, and its nature on the whole is something words can never explain. Its a reminder to show the beauty of life can be contained in such delicate petals. And yet, people are never satisfied to see things as it is. We must give it another dimension with our own interpretations and names and meanings and then use it as though we created them in the first place! 

This book, The Language Of Flowers is a novel about an orphan who had the ability to connect to all flowers and was able to help people change their lives by choosing certain flowers for them.

She had a dictionary to learn the flowers names and its meanings as it was recorded since ancient times. Like, Acacia means Secret Love, Aloe means grief, Baby's breath means everlasting love, Basil means hate, Orchid means Refined Beauty, and different colours of roses meaning different things like pink is  Grace, Red is love, yellow is infidelity and the list goes on for hundreds and hundreds of flowers and its colours and meanings. 

Then, in one part of the story, one of her friends explains about the meaning of the quote "A Rose is a rose is a rose" a sentence written by a women named Gertrude Stein in a poem. It simply means things are what they are. What we call it is not going to change the nature of it. 

Made me think, why do we name and interpret everything we see and feel? Cant we just look at it as it is? For example below is a picture of a yellow rose i snapped myself in a nursery in Dunstable, England 3 years ago.

I can still feel the joy i felt looking at such a brilliant creation of nature...the colour especially! The most beautiful yellow i have seen in my entire life and it gets reddish in the deep center of the flower, the petals were silky smooth, soft and made perfect outlines like how u see in sketches and paintings... and i am sure you can imagine the fragrance....such beauty...but unfortunately someone centuries ago must have been in a bad mood on that day to have thought the yellow rose means Infidelity!! Why? Seriously? Why ruin such a magical creation?! I also remember in school, friends saying...Red is for love and yellow means jealous especially during Valentines day...you cant buy this gorgeous yellow rose for someone you love because it means you are jealous!! How strange is that? 

Say no one named this flower...then wouldnt you by all means pick it to be given to someone you love. Well...i will never be able to pick it from the plant and ruin the wholeness, but if it was in the flower shops and if i was choosing one single rose to show my love then this would be the one....so bright...so joyous, so strong yet soft.

   

 Just like the flowers, we have named everything we see and not only named but also given it meanings to which we have become so used to that we cant see it any other way! Of all things that we have named the worst would be ourselves. We have named ourselves and then never go beyond that name. We forget what we really are inside. We have simply become our name...the description fits just the name but not who we are within. We are so obsessed with names that sometimes we even forget that we are human beings or maybe most of the times! Coz if we remembered, then we would be nothing but full of love, joy and peace. But being our names, we become everything else....full of hate, anger, sadness and confusion. Once we see beyond our names, we will slowly begin to see who we really are. Just like this yellow rose, then we will show the beauty which is so obvious yet goes unnoticed. 

So as a start to this beautiful year, lets learn how to see things as they are....the skies are just skies....the sun is a sun...water is water....you are you ...no descriptions attached...no interpretations ....nothing.  

River of Smoke

We all ask questions like, why do people become drug dealers and why isn't the government doing anything to stop them ...but then if you read this book " River of Smoke" by Amitav Ghosh you will see how complicated the situation is and how it seems an impossible task to stop this trade. 

First of all, the author is simply brilliant and has done unbelievable level of research regarding Opium tradings in China in the 19th century. He simply transports you into the very streets of ancient and mystical towns of China and makes you walk along with their people to witness it all. As you watch what happens in the alleys and the crowded waterways of 19th century Canton, you will be drawn into the pass and begin to see every transaction that takes place in the opium trade. You will come to know the merchants from Bombay who have become millionaires by smuggling opium into China, you will speak with the native workers, coolies, sailors and servants, you will meet the European merchants. You will know what each and everyone one of them had for breakfast or what type of clothes they wore and what language they spoke. You will know their strength and weaknesses and their family members.   

And while you are getting acquainted with them all, suddenly you get a whole picture of whats happening...you see how the British through East India Company smuggled opium into China and how cheaply it was grown in India and then shipped off to be distributed by Indian merchants to the local Chinese population. And how the poorest of people became millionaires. Within decades these merchants became part of the community in Canton...they married the Chinese women and had children who also got involved in the illegal trading of drugs as well.  Then, when it was all too late, with more and more people becoming addicted to drugs, the Emperor decides to banish the poisonous trade for good. 1000s of people were arrested and 1000s of pounds of opium were confiscated. All foreign merchants were held under arrest until they surrendered their cargo worth millions of dollars and it was all burnt publicly.

But will the more powerful British government give in to this? No! Of course not. They have been making crazy amount of money from this trade. So, that's how the Opium War happened! 

How strange is that? A country going to war,  literally to poison their people through an illegal trade. How unfair was that! It has got to be the worst reason for any battle! And its not hard to see that money is the reason. This is of course in a big scale and it all seems unfair but what about the small things which drives people to act in similar ways in their daily lives...ever noticed them?

Sometimes people are willing to sell contaminated food from their stall just so they don't lose their profit for the day. But how do they sleep knowing someone must have fallen ill that day because of their food? Or someone might sell you a product which they know is not genuine. How do they sleep knowing someone who trusted them has lost their money for a cheap product. 

I am always baffled how people could be content living with money which they made by cheating others. I would rather be happily starving then to be wealthy feeling guilty all the time!

Desperate? but who is not? if every desperate person chooses to cheat someone...then the world would not have survived this long. The whole system would have collapsed. It is the genuine people who are making the world go round. It is for them the sun has not given up shining. It is for them the sea is still contained up to its shores...otherwise we would be all drowned together!

So, lets stop giving excuses and be more genuine, the world isn't ugly as most people regard it nowadays. I believe the world is getting more and more beautiful. People are getting more and more beautiful. Only problem is people have the technology to share only the fewer ugly side instantly which takes the attention away from all the goodness that's going on around us. Shift your focus for once and look for the good things happening and you will see that you are not able to share it all everyday for there's just so much going on. 

We too are drugged....to believe that only the evil is spreading its wings...we fail to see the whole sky above it...all clear and blue! Lets not be drifted by the river of smoke...wake up and look! and you will sure find it! whatever it is that you are looking for....is waiting to be discovered by you!

One Hundred and Four Horses

What made me buy this book? Horses!! of course...i love horses...so strong...yet so elegant and loving. What an amazing animal it is. Then, as i read the synopsis i found out that the story was set during Robert Mugabe's land invasions in Zimbabwe and how this family was forced to flee with their horses. What more do you need to hear before you buy it!! 

This book made me wonder, how could you run for your lives with 104 horses!! How could anyone do that? I mean, i always felt lucky that i never had to pack my things and move from the place i was born until now as my parents still live in the house i was born and i still have some of my childhood stuffs in the cupboards or under the beds. Though i now live 2 and hours away from home...i never had to lose the memories of the place i was born. If i had to run for my life from there...what would i have packed?? Clothes..? money?? some photos maybe...books?? and my doggie of course...but if i had 104 horses to bring along?? what would i have done?? I honestly could not imagine it! Especially to think there are brutal people coming after to kill me, would i risk bringing along 104 horses? Though i surely would want to rescue those horses...would i know how i could do that..?  Again...i cant imagine it. But i am now convinced that it is possible. Especially because this story is not from time when Jesus or Krishna was walking among people inspiring them with miracles and love....no...it happened during our time...while i was going to  college, enjoying my student life. While i was planning my dream wedding, or was organizing family gatherings and even still killing myself laughing at Road Runner or Tom & Jerry on TV..yes while i thought the whole world was doing more or less the same things...there was this family who was in danger of being brutally murdered with their 3 young kids and yet chose not to flee the country as their friends and relatives did simply because they could not abandon their horses!!they risked it all to save their beloved horses. 

Even more inspiring is the fact that it was not all their own horses. Some accumulated as they went from one farm to another and found horses left by owners who fled or some from owners who approached them before leaving the country to request them to take in their horses as well as they had no heart to put them down. So, the Retzlaff family took in peoples' horses as well. Then when the invasions reached their farm...again they ran to the next farm. They went on and on....risking their lives each time...for years!! till they finally crossed the borders into Mozambique ermmm WITH 104 HORSES! Is it not a miracle??

So, what i learnt from this story?

That, no matter what age this world seems to be moving towards....technology or not...Mars or not...Aliens or not...one thing for sure is the human strength and the unbreakable bond shared among all living things. We marvel at mothers who will risk anything for their own children...but now that seems ordinary when compared to what this family did for their horses! So, its not about bond between mother and children...its about the bond with all living things...something we may not even realise until it is put to test. The human strength is just unbelievable. On normal circumstances, we might grumble even when packing a few books to school as it is a hassle yet we are capable of packing ourselves with 104 rescued horses to flee the country. Is it not amazing what we CAN do if only we decide to do it! And is it also not disturbing to wonder how much of our capabilities are going to waste simply because we are not determined!! We limit ourselves based on what we see around us. We see everyone do a few set of things ...the "Normal" things and we come to believe that is all we can naturally do. But why settle for "normal"....? Why not go beyond?? It may seem crazy to many ...even The Retzlaff family were called crazy when they refused to leave the country for their horses...but then they did it ....didn't they??

Why let others decide what you can do! Its our precious life! ONE precious life! a gift in our hands to be tested only by ourselves....why give it to others to be abused! Lets have it back....lets live this precious life the way we want! crazy or not....never mind.... lets just run with our horses... just as strong...as elegant...as determined...as focused as the horses...and lets see where it takes us :)  

The Book Thief

I was taking the train to Ipoh and decided to get a book to read through the journey. Since a friend suggested The Book Thief and also because i had not watched the movie, i decided to get it! Didn't know much about the story except that it was set during Nazi Germany and this little girl goes on stealing books. 

As i was all set for the journey, and as soon as i was seated, i started reading the very first chapter....and it was a little weird when i realised that the story begins in a train journey too! Even more interesting was that the story was narrated by Death!! It begins with Death taking a little boy who was travelling in that train. Then it got so interesting that the next thing i knew was i was nearing my destination station...and so much had happened in that two hours. Wars...death...books burned...death....books stolen...death....concentration camps...while death sharing its point of view whenever it decides to take peoples lives...hmmm pretty interesting and yet...a little scary! 

It made me realise how something we don't have or not allowed to have becomes an obsession. We want it even more when we know we can't have it. As in this story books were being burned in piles by the Nazis. Books were precious to those who loved them. When reading is regarded as crime...all the more you WANT to read. Even if it means you must steal! Because it gets that tempting.

Just like that...we all tend to go after everything that we are denied rather then working from things that has been allowed...We keep chasing our tails knowing we will never catch it! But eventually there comes a beautiful point when we stop chasing and settle down. That's when we begin to see everything else that has been following us trying to get our attention so desperately. And then we go....ooh dear...! have we been chasing after things that we want or have we really been running away from the things that want us badly! 

Hahhaa...i find life SIMPLY interesting...it has such an intricate plan that you just cant go out of its lines...no matter how much you run...you end up at a point where Life decides you to be! You sometimes end up staring blankly at walls wondering what happened to all that running you did...?? That's when you stop running and turn around to see all those goodness that has been chasing after you from ALL angles!! Then suddenly you have SO many options to choose from....everything beautiful...too much even to handle! Then the running stops....and living begins...you see it all...you see it at plain sight! really!! 

If you are not convinced....just stop running for a moment and look! i mean really LOOK! :)