Tuesday, December 19, 2017

ONLY TIME

If you know Enya's songs....you will know these words...

Who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time
And who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose, only time

Who can say why your heart sighs
As your love flies, only time
And who can say why your heart cries
When your love lies, only time

Who can say when the road meets
That love might be in your heart
And who can say when the day sleeps
If the night keeps all your heart

Who knows, Only Time

We make decisions based on what we have learnt right up to THAT moment we are making a decision, but what comes next we have  absolutely no idea...so we enjoy the moments and go with it till it suddenly, for no reason at all, rips you off  the path and puts you in a middle of a circle ...with no pointers...no roads...no signboards...no clue!! you are allowed to take a step in ANY direction and yet you stand there frozen as  you are too stunned to make a move...and which way now? Who knows....only time...

We think we are getting closer to the truth as we begin to feel the joy within...walking lighter, brighter and clearer in the head then ever before...so we get this feeling "Yay...i am on the right track and i am getting there" You forget the rest of the world...you have created a new world for yourself with everything and everyone you love in it...you are on top of the world, reaching out to the stars, and suddenly you slip and find your world missing altogether...you stand there blank wondering where everything and everyone went...or was it all just an illusion...you begin to wonder...but then..
Who knows, Only Time....

You have let go of all desires, cravings and longings...no grudges...no regrets coz the moment in hand is too joyful. So you have stopped searching, you have stopped wondering,  you have stopped reaching out coz its all right here! no where to go...you are dancing through the moments so joyously and again.... the music stops, and you are left in a deafening silence. You are too shocked to react, you wait to hear it again ...but there's nothing...and you wait...in silence...will the music be turned on again...?
Who knows, only time...

You stopped running and have settled down in your most favourite place, simply soaking in its beauty, feeling the breeze, the sun and the mist, all keeping you just right...not too cold...not too warm...not too dark and not too bright, you could see as far as light allows, so you stay there, loving it all...and suddenly the sun hides behind the clouds and it gets freezing cold, you want to move but you feel too numb, you cant feel your hands or feet or even your heart beating....so keeping your eyes closed, you look within, will the rays reach out to you again...?
Who knows, Only Time...

You have stopped looking for answers coz you have no idea what the question is, so you have learnt how to let go and receive whatever comes, you have thanked the universe over and over for everything that came your way, you have learnt that every moment is an answer, but still your heart will not stop asking, what exactly is the question?
Who knows, Only Time....

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Can you Promise?

I was 9 years old...in primary school, standard 3, Class A. It was the 3rd time i forgot to pack one of my maths book. The teacher got so annoyed, she asked me to pack my bag and move to class C immediately. I did as i was told. The students in class C all felt bad for me i guess, so they welcomed me with smiles and gave me a place to sit. (Some of them are still my good friends!) I sat there looking blur and in the verge of tears yet did not utter a word in protest. The class teacher walked in and sat at her table in front and she must have been already informed by my maths teacher, about me. So, she called me up to her desk and asked me kindly about what had happened and why i was there. So i told her that i forgot to pack my book. Then she said...in Malay "ok, macam ni, boleh tak Anu janji dekat cikgu, Anu tak akan lupa bawa buku lepas ni. Kalau Anu janji, Anu boleh balik ke kelas A"? (Meaning, Can you promise to me that you will not forget to pack your book in the future so i can send you back to class A?)

I thought about it for a few seconds and told her this, "Tapi saya takut nak janji, macam mana kalau saya lupa lagi?" (meaning, I dont dare to promise, coz what if i forget again?" 

I can never forget the look on the teachers face when i said that to her...and i dont remember her saying anything at all after that. But she did send me back to Class A the next day. Though i didn't think much about it at that time, when i grew up and recalled the incident, i felt quite amazed at myself!! hahahhaa...i mean, wouldn't any child go "Yes! Yes teacher i promise!!! please send me back to my class!" seriously...how many of  a 9 years old would think..how important it is to keep your promise! and what if you break it and take the risk of being moved to class C from A!?

That's how i have been...promises are that sacred..and i cant lie!! like no matter how small a lie it is....i just can't!! I can keep quiet about something...yes..and not reveal something yes...but never can i lie! If i ever tried,you will know i am lying ...as my face will show it so clear!

I sometimes wonder, how people who go on lying over and over can even sleep!! Seriously...how?? does it not bother them? 

But have people lied to me or broken their promises...YES! all the time...! It hurts whenever i find out coz to me words are so sacred...you say something only if it comes from your heart...if not...say nothing at all!

So, if you ask me, is it worth being so truthful and honest? Definitely YES! Life is made of truth and nothing but truth, lies may get you around for a while but once truth finds you out, you will have no where to run! so beware! 

Speak the truth and keep your promises, no matter how small or big it is...and of course, sleep well!! :) 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Watch it LIVE!

How real are you?

Recall a whole day and choose the moments you have been real, from the food you consumed, the videos you watched, the songs you heard, the plants you touched, the words you spoke, the voices you heard...and so on. Recall how many times you felt REAL..Food doesn't count vitamins...Plants doesn't count walking with shoes on grass, songs doesn't count videos on youtube, words doesn't count gossips, hearing doesn't count the beeping and ringing of phones...now...how much of real moments do we experience in a day? Think!  

We wake up to almost a robotic world, where everything is moving mechanically, we rush to fit into these routines not knowing heads or tails of where exactly we are going...but why the mad rush? 
Coz, everyone is doing it and we will be left out if we don't? Left out? Left out from what exactly? From a sleeping society? From a hypnotized human race? From people who have long forgotten what it feels like to be real?

For a moment, think how you can be real..? I am not against technology...i love technology! But unfortunately technology works with HUMAN BEINGS...and are we being human in its true sense anymore...? We want everything either programmed, recorded, printed or screened...we cant touch an image of a rose stored in our mobile and feel the soft petals....we have got to be walking in a garden...sensing the fragrance and feeling the delicate petals against the skin to know the connection...to its subtle yet strong energy. That feeling you get when you touch a real rose...is REAL. Two amazing creations of the universe coming into contact...human being and a rose!! How beautiful is that?...the rose might not wonder what we are...but it will definitely absorb the love we radiate...You may be the BEST photographer in the world...but can you create THAT moment of TRUTH between a Rose and a Human Being in touch? 

Just like that everything LIVE has its beauty, which no technology can replace. Like Music and Dance too. People have no time to go watch a live performance. They would say its too expensive or too troublesome...driving to the auditoriums, parking, getting the tickets and sitting for a whole two hours is too much for them...so they would watch videos on youtube. And now people are watching these videos on mobile phones, the screen is just about palm sized. Is that satisfying..? Seriously? Either we have gone so far into a fake lifestyle that we don't even know what satisfies the soul anymore or we simply have forgotten what it feels like to be real.

What do you get when you watch a LIVE performance?

You see a dancer on stage, say with 500 people watching...ALL eyes and lights on that ONE performer. The guts you need to stand on stage knowing a single mistake will be clearly seen by 500 people ON the spot...no chance of correcting...no chance of reproducing the effects, ONE time is all you have...just like life. You know the audience have paid their hard earned money and taken a precious part their time to come watch you. The responsibility falls on the performer. They have to touch 500 souls and keep their focus through out the performance. Does that sound easy to you? 

That is why every professional artist will torture themselves through endless hours of practices for months, hurting themselves both physically and mentally before they stand before the audience. Every minute they are on stage is equivalent to hours, days and nights of practices. Ive seen artists cry during rehearsals for all the stress they are put through. And NEVER forget these performers live in the same MAD RUSH world as the audience. Some working and rushing to rehearsals right after office hours, not having a chance to go home and be with their families. 

Why do they do it then?? Because its REAL. A dancer at heart will be willing to go through all these tortures for that 5 perfect mins on stage and for the blissful moments of connecting with 500 souls. Its priceless to them and they will do it over and over. You can only go through such pain willingly if you have the passion to do it. If not, it will be merely a torture! 

"Too expensive" is the first thing people say when buying tickets to live performances...but that's because they do not realise what they are paying is not for just that TWO hours of show on stage alone. Its for the dedication of a performing artist in preparing themselves to be fit to be on stage as an entertainer. Most professionals have given their whole lives for it. What we see or hear on stage is someones childhood ripped off and put into hours of practices. What we experience is someones lifetime of focus on ART despite the harsh challenges faced day in and day out. What we witness is someone who dared stand out and follow their passion. 

And we are not doing them a favour by watching live performance. We are in fact getting an out of the world experience ourselves. And by out of the world i mean REALLY out of this (robotic, youtube, facebook, twitter world) where you can feel the real energy and soul of a dancer or musician connect to you. The vibes of an instrument resonating though the auditorium...and beating with your heart...why else do people cry and scream at live concerts! Because its REAL! You feel ALIVE. You can feel the artist and art connected. You can feel the energy of the performer, you feel their emotions...it becomes an experience altogether...!Any form of art when performed by a dedicated and passionate performer has a certain quality which is capable of transporting the audience to somewhere beyond life....something you can never put into words. And THATS exactly what we pay for...priceless moments of ecstatic joy! Well its definitely easier way out, compared to meditation anyway ... :) 

The more real moments you experience, the more in touch you feel with life..and the more in touch you are with life, the more joyful it becomes...

I cant remember how many live performances ive watched so far as ive been watching them since i was a little kid...easily a hundred shows...and also have had the chance to perform in quite a number of shows which kind of gives me a whole experience of being on both sides and i have to mention how blessed i am to be living in a city where such awesome live shows are staged all year through...giving me a chance to experience the REAL thing every now and then...

So, today i thought i would share these thoughts with some of you who might wonder why you should bother watching live performances when you can always hear it or watch it recorded...believe me...every instrument creates a connection through the vibrations produced and the effects can never be recorded...the sound may be reproduced but never the life energy that comes out of an instrument...just like that, only a dancer on stage performing live...will be able to convey their emotions by staying connected to the audience. Its again something you cant put in words....  

So, next time you want to experience something for real...
Go catch a LIVE show!! :) 


Friday, July 14, 2017

When it happens...

I am sure most of you have said these words at some point of your life....

"I dunno...It just happened" ...

Meaning something extraordinary and beautiful happens in your life and when someone asks...how did you make that happen...and you are like...I dunno...i didn't plan it...it just happened..

Ever thought about it? Why the most effortless attempts turn out beautiful while the things you fuss about just don't happen the way you expect...

Ever wondered why?

We are part of a whole mechanism that needs to maintain a certain system and reach a certain outcome, both scientifically and spiritually, its the same. In order to do that, every part needs to fall, connect, turn, rise, push, pull, twist and finally settle at a certain needed point so the system is not interrupted. While we try to connect to the wrong parts, or push the wrong buttons, and even try to stay in ONE spot adamantly refusing to let the mechanism work...we create all the distress. We think too much and miss the most obvious solutions...we worry too much and miss the simple joys...we are so careful that we forget we have one life and this is it!

When we let things happen...it doesn't mean we sit back and stare at the walls and wait for things to happen...no, we have to work for it...but with a calm heart....i say calm heart...i say heart and not mind...coz the mind is never calm...its always telling you what might go wrong ...but the heart knows! So stay with your heart, and just be in tune with everything you hear, smell, touch, see and experience...for that's where the answers or the inspirations or hints are hidden...problem is we are so messed up in between our thoughts that we keep missing these silent hints...we are so noisy we don't hear it...

People say "chase your dreams" but i find that stressful...why chase? When you can....LIVE YOUR DREAMS...every step towards the outcome is the dream itself...it becomes part of your dream...some painful, some joyful but it all becomes part of it ...

Anyone who has achieved their dreams will know...how every step brought them there....you cant separate it...the dream is a whole thing...its not an end product...coz the end product will not be as precious as the experiences you gained while getting there...The end product will be beautiful only because you will remember what got you there..so every step counts..the bad ones...the mistakes..the falls...the turnings and the rising...

The system knows...it has placed every bit of the universe in the right place...no mistakes..we may never understand it until we are able to see the whole picture...but we can always fit in and work with the energy. Every swimmer will remember the first moment they managed to float.....you can only float when you let go...and surrender to the water...you just fall back and trust the energy of the water...and you float...NO other techniques! NO need to recite one thousand mantras...no need to do any offerings to the water before you jump in...just TRUST and LET GO... 

When i say making things happen...i am talking about from the smallest of things to the biggest like from cooking a delicious meal to landing on Mars...its the same...it happens when we let it happen...it happens when we don't dream of the outcome...it happens while we enjoy the process of making it happen...it happens when we least expect it...it happens...

WHEN IT HAPPENS.....

Friday, June 23, 2017

Unworded Melodies

Take the words away...and feel whats left....

Have you seen a puppy react to a twig? Ever wondered why? Because no one taught them ...that it is called a TWIG...it has no idea what it is...and it wants to feel it with its own senses...so they just play with it...

Just like that take the words away from everything you see and feel whats left...would a rainbow then amuse you? Would you stop to wonder...? Are you going to call it science?  Science will explain the process...it will say, white light is separated into a spectrum of colours when sunlight passes through rainwater....but then what decides there should be only 7 colours when it happens...why not 8? 9? who decides the shades of colours contained in the white light..? Newton?? 

Take the word Bee off and then listen to the bug buzzing...would you be amused then? How does the bee know you have a flower pot in your garden...? Can you hear the flowers sending signals as it blooms..? No? Then, how would a tiny bee know? The fragrance you might say..then again...who put the fragrance in a bloom? Where did it come from...the soil?? why wouldnt a rose smell like a jasmine? Who decides they stick to their own type of fragrance? Ever wondered about it?

Now even better...Take the word LOVE away, how would you explain what you feel for someone? Can you explain LOVE? No matter how good you are with words...can you put it in words...? Does it seem enough or right??

At some point you would try expressing your feeling by hugging or kissing someone...but deep inside you are never satisfied...you will feel there's way more love that you could not possibly convey with mere words or gestures..then you stop trying and just begin to feel the love quietly....at least then it will seem a little more real. Finally you surrender to whats true...untainted by words or ideas ...simply being in a state of love...and probably a faint, helpless smile appears on your face then, for thats all you could express...wordless.. but its then real...

Just like that...take the words away from the skies...clouds...streams...leaves...trees...cars...moon....cats..colours..hills....birds and even of yourself and feel them all from within...with no names...no ideas...just feel the connection you make with everything around you...for once feel the colours...how each colour you see make you feel?... 

Take the words away, and you will see that everything around and within you merge into one whole reality which has been buried in piles and piles of nothing but words...

You may think...right now i am using words to convey my thoughts through this article but then, if you take my words here literally...then you are surely not getting the point...what you hear and feel while reading this has got nothing to do with my choice of words ....what you feel is absolutely your own truth speaking to you in a wordless language....

Take the word away from JOY...and feel your being as it is...

Take the word away from SAD...and let your self sink in for a bit....

Take the word away from ANGER and rise above it ...

simply take the words away...and breathe...

and yes...take the words away from the melodies.......and feel the music...

Come watch ...

"UNWORDED MELODIES"

Tamil Cinema Instrumental Melodies of MS Viswanathan, Ilayaraja and Ar Rahman led By Sitar Maestro Samuel Dass



Wednesday, May 3, 2017

HoliBolly@Swara CAC

Its May 2017??

I have not sat to write the whole year! And that's not because there has been nothing to share but because there has been so much to write about..i didn't know where to start..

Anyway since it will be my first post for the year i will start with a colourful note!!

This year for the first time in my life i had an opportunity to be part of a Holi celebration. Ive seen pictures of friends all drenched and soaked in holi colours and always wished to experience it. Somehow i missed it every year. But thanks to Swara Community Arts Center, this year, our bharathanatyam teacher suggested we celebrate it in our center instead of joining the celebration elsewhere. So together we organized a simple event at the beautiful garden of the center in Petaling Jaya mostly with our students, committee members, family and friends. 

It turned out to be so joyful with music and dance splashed in TEN shades of colours...thanks to one of our students who provided those gorgeous colours!

Only after the event i realized what effect the celebration has on someone who was part of it..And that is what i wish to share here...with you all...

The shades of life....

We come into the world pure and white...uncolored, soul untouched by the elements of life on earth...and then gradually everyone leaves a mark on us, some brighter, some darker, some vibrant and some dull. Our lives are not necessarily touched only by people we know...sometimes its a complete stranger whom you might not even meet again...yet for that moment a connection happens...one shade is left on your white soul and it stays...sometimes it is someone you love, sometimes by little children ...or even by someone you dont really like maybe.. yet the beauty is, by the end of it you will not be able to say who made those marks but together they create a new you..all the colours come together and create a whole new picture of you. When you look at yourself at this point, you will be totally amazed at the creation that happened beyond your control, you did not plan it, you tried running away sometimes, you tried avoiding sometimes but it gets to you anyway! And the effect of the whole process is magical! You dont design such things...it happens of its own accord and the beauty is..it is different for every person!

While you think you look all messed up...you will be amazed to look at yourself in the end! Just like life...all that seemed random, finally fits like a jigsaw puzzle to make a whole...its magical...its beyond words...the shades of life within...reflected!

so here...thats exactly what happened during the holi celebration at Swara Community Arts Center...and i will let these pictures say the rest...



























So...go with the game, take in the colours... trust the process and stay joyful to the end, you will come out AWESOME!! :)