" EVEN IN ORDINARY LIFE YOU FEEL THE FUTILITY OF WORDS. IF WHATSOEVER YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING CAN BE CONVEYED BY WORDS, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NOT LIVED AT ALL. WHEN THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING STARTS HAPPENING WHICH IS BEYOND WORDS LIFE HAS HAPPENED TO YOU. LIFE HAS KNOCKED AT YOUR DOOR. AND WHEN THE ULTIMATE KNOCKS AT YOUR DOOR, YOU ARE SIMPLY GONE BEYOND WORDS - YOU BECOME DUMB, YOU CANNOT SAY; NOT EVEN A SINGLE WORD IS FORMED INSIDE. AND WHATSOEVER YOU SAY LOOKS SO PALE, SO DEAD, SO MEANINGLESS, THAT IT SEEMS THAT YOU ARE DOING INJUSTICE TO THE EXPERIENCE THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU "
Last weekend, Nantha and i were with our friends in Klang, and i was planning to go the Tamil bookstores to see if i could get any interesting books which you usually don't find in MPH or other common booskstores. But then there was a procession going on in town with a chariot coming from the Klang Shirdi Baba centre. The roads were blocked with hundreds of people walking with the chariot. So , i told Nantha its ok if we cant go to the bookstore this time since we will have to walk right up to the opposite end of the road from where we parked the car.
As we were walking along the rows of saree shops there, i came across this Indian man selling some books at the entrance of one of the saree shops...he had just arranged about 50 plus books on a table and was standing beside it waiting for customers. And i thought...fine...i cant go to the bookstore....the bookstore comes to me :) so why not...just stop and look at what he had. I wasn't expecting to find anything too interesting because these guys usually sell simple tamil novels or short stories which are easier to sell. But then as i looked , was surprised to find one or two books by OSHO, one titled " Osho in Tantra, The Supreme Understanding" The outline of the content sounded pretty interesting which said it was Osho's interpretation of the work of an ancient Indian Tantric Buddhist called Tilopa. So, of course i bought it...since it is not easy to find his books in the common bookstores anywhere in Malaysia.
I started reading the book as soon as i got home and just as i expected it was keeping me awake late into the night. Ive not finished reading it, in fact i am only at 4th chapter but theres something i wished to share here even before i go on reading.
The words above in the beginning of this post, is from the first chapter and i read that part just before i switched of the lights and went to bed, and i started thinking of all those moments in my life which left me Speechless. It was quite a joy to recall such moments ! And for some reason the first thing that came to my mind was my very first time at the beach !
I was about 4 years old when i first went to the beach in Lumut, Perak with family...we have no photographs of it, but i still remember looking at the vast ocean, and its waves chasing after me...i sat down and let the waves rush through me , while my mother stood beside just watching over so i don't get swept away !! haha. I remember that moment so well. She was wearing a simple saree...(yes, those days she wore sarees all the time) I also remember that i wasn't at all afraid of the waves ... or the sight of the vast ocean itself. Probably because mom was just beside me ...i don't know...cant explain it.
To think of it now ...it was almost as though i knew the ocean all my life...nothing surprising or intimidating ! I don't remember being excited either... it was more like i just knew the ocean so well...that i calmly sat on the beach and played with the sand and collected sea shells ...what a beautiful moment ! !
My mom always says she will never forget the sight of the little me enjoying the beach :) I didn't think of it much until i read this book and started recalling that moment..how come i wasn't afraid of so much water rushing towards me ?? How come i didn't insist that my mom carried me and never to put me down on the sand ?
But theres one thing i could remember very clearly...
That i totally LOVED it ! I loved the sight of the ocean...i loved the waves...i loved the breeze...i loved the sand...the shells...the smell and the salty water ! ! Honestly i am glad that we don't have any photographs of me then...coz then probably my memories of it would have been tainted by those pictures and i wouldn't have remembered how i actually felt at that moment .
And ever since my first experience with the ocean...i have been enjoying the beach again and again. I never mind the sun or getting tanned. I love the sound of the waves splashing against the rocks...i love to watch the waves retreat and come back to wash my feet. I love floating in it ...letting the waves wash me up to the shore :)
Well, as Osho had said , this was one of those experiences which i cant describe in plain words...and makes me wander, maybe it wasn't really the first time i saw the ocean after all.. :)
Anyway, i am still reading this amazing book...and am pretty sure that i will be sharing at least 2 more posts on this book alone...theres so much to share...so much to learn...unlearn...so much to love and enjoy and experience through it.
So, Will come back soon !
Till then , watch the waves and have a beautiful time !
