Setting 2014 with the Sun

The world is renewed with every rise of the sun. It is not about the year or month. Its about every moment refreshed second by second. So life is eternally new. Live every moment of it.

That's the message i got while i sat by the beach in Langkawi, watching and meditating upon the setting sun last weekend. While i get restless by 5 mins when i attempt to meditate at home....i unbelievably sat still for almost an hour and a half there simply watching the sun set at its own pace, absorbing the golden rays and purplish skies and there was no need for calming Zen music to keep my thoughts quiet...as my mind was totally merged with the soothing sound of waves splashing in rhythm with my breathing.

I was sitting there alone while hubby and the group of friends were resting on the folding beach chairs further up. After a little while, my friend comes up to where i was sitting and asks me to turn around facing my back to the sun for her to snap a shot of my silhouette. And the picture turned up so nice :)


We were lucky that despite the rainy season the weather was so good on that evening. And the sunset was simply breathtaking. While my friend's kids were running up and down the shore collecting sea shells, building sand castles and simply running to the waves i noticed their silhouette from where i was seated looked interesting....so i decided to take few shots of them. Here it is....








Once the sun went down...rising in another part of the world...i got up and walked to the waves just to wet my feet and saw that the kids were still not tired of running up and down, most likely because they were absorbing all the natural energy and feeling light and free from all the "don't touch this! Don't run! Don't scream! Don't talk! Don't Don't and Don't...." No, here they were running free....as much as they wanted...and you could see the joy in their eyes! No concrete buildings to break their runs...simply endless shores and light ...such freedom is priceless especially for children...is it not?

Then i walked back to where the rest of my friends were sitting and chatting. One of them sees me walking up and asks in amazement,
"Anuuuu....how could you sit for that long???"

And only then did i realise it myself...that i was actually sitting there for more then an hour.....so i smiled and said to her "actually it wasn't enough" :)

How can u be bored when the sun is setting...changing colours by the seconds ...dropping into the ocean inch by inch right before your gaze! The shape of the clouds changing and forming new patterns every minute...the waves getting closer to you with every splash....the reflection of the light on the sea forming a path as if it is paving a way for you to walk up to the sun...such a majestic live show going on....and how could anyone be bored looking at it! 

The world when you got there before the sun set was gone...and there was a whole new world of dark skies and colder breeze with twinkling stars in the making....it was a new world in the making right before your eyes. How often do we notice these changes....to us the world goes by clock....its 5pm.....its 6pm....its 7 pm....its 8 pm....but do we even notice whats happening during these hours on ordinary days...No, we define our day by hours ....lunch hour....tea break....after work....dinner time....tv time....bed time...and that's it....the same routine follows the following day.....timing ourselves as though we are a bomb ticking! But the sun is putting a show every morning through the day into setting again....but we don't care to notice! Not that we don't have time...coz even if we have time we rather be sulking that we are bored then to be indulged in nature.

We may not be able to watch the sunrise or sunset everyday....from where live. But we can sure catch it at least at one point of the day before we go to bed again. It makes a difference when we watch how the day is changing every second....how the clouds are moving...when the wind is blowing them away...we too are changing every second. Our life is renewed by seconds...we are growing and blooming into ourselves...unknowingly. So lets pay attention to the changes...lets watch ourselves rise and set with the sun. Lets notice the changes in our thoughts....Lets acknowledge the love we feel. Lets LIVE with every breath ....like the sun.. :)

So my resolution??? 

Is surely to watch as many sunrises/ sunsets from as many parts of the world possible this coming year! :)

So stay tuned for lots of light and colours in 2015!

I have a lot more to share about Langkawi....will do in the next posts...

Have a great year all! 


   

Dancing with destiny...

There has been a few times, when i got opportunities to dance for a piece of music i love and constantly imagined myself dancing....it all started when i was in campus, with A.R Rahman's...Taal movie song. When the movie was released i was in campus and whenever i listened to the songs i would imagine myself dancing to it on stage...or just anywhere over the hills and by the streams...simply love the songs in the movie. But i never imagined that it would really come true! Thanks to the organizers of fashion show in campus especially to a good friend Nazlin who was already in 3rd year when i was in first. One morning at my hostel bathroom, while i was brushing teeth...she walks in and spotted me in the reflection of the mirror and asks..."you can dance indian classical dance...right?" I smiled and said...yes...though i was surprised at her question since i didnt know her at all...it was the first time i saw her in the hostel. Then she asks "would you like to be part of the fashion show we organize to be staged in the Malam Anekaragam ( an annual concert in the university). I was delighted of course...especially when i was feeling miserable to be away from family for the first time in my life, any chance to dance meant BLISS :) 

So thats how i started dancing in campus. Thats when i got the opportunity to dance for the song Taal!! I loved the choreography by another senior girl who is from temple of fine arts. There were four of us doing the classical part ...and we wore plain gold lehengga suits and since then we were often referred by our close friends as the four golden girls in anekaragam :D 

Just like the taal song...there was another song i always imagined myself dancing....also A.R Rahman's music from the movie Jeans....."Anbe Anbe" sung by Hariharan. I love the beat and the lyrics too...especially with the gorgeous Aiswarya Rai dancing in the movie!! It was just so beautiful! Though again...i never thought i would get an opportunity to dance for that song too! And i did!

The crowd at DTSP USM was easily into thousands...and the stage was so huge...we have to run from one side to the other when getting in or out....What an awesome experience it was! That was surely the biggest audience I've ever had! 

Then after campus time...when i came to KL and took Odissi classes at Sutra...it was back to pure classical dances...no more movie songs or semi classical pieces...But that doesn't mean i stopped dreaming :P

About two years ago, while i was browsing through the YouTube videos of Kitaro's music i came across this piece called "Dance of Saraswati" Oh My God it was so beautiful that i thought i had wasted half my life not listening to music that beautiful! It had a very special effect on me...every time i listened to it...i closed my eyes and this time i not only imagined myself dancing...but i also imagine all the breathtaking places i visited in Europe just two years ago...the music and the places suited so well that i didn't know which was more beautiful....and of course i was dancing by the streams and over the rolling hills each time!! :P 

This time...again i NEVER thought i would be dancing for this piece of music...as i was sure...no way my dance school would use this music to dance odissi...hahhaa...and i was not in campus anymore!

But strange that every time i hear this music i so badly wanted to dance to it...it was so joyful and touched the core of my soul! Then sometime last year i decided to ask one of teachers in Sutra if she could help me choreograph for this music...just for fun of course...not to perform but just for the love of it! But then i knew it was not fair for me to ask her to do that. So i told her to just ignore my request and that maybe i just got a little emotional on that day when i was listening to the music...so then we all forgot about it....

But believe it or not....this year...just 2 weeks ago....i danced for this piece...and not only that i danced solo....but i also had to choreograph the whole 6 minutes all by myself!! I was at first reluctant...but then i thought...well for all the years ive been learning, at least i should attempt to have one piece which is originally mine! Every step to be purely my own....for a piece of music i loved most...so why not! It doesn't have to be extraordinary but let it be mine...i thought. So...yes i only had 4 days to choreograph and practice before i performed at the hotel for my secondary school Silver Jubilee celebration in Ipoh! My friends had requested that i do a opening dance because i use to dance in school events like every year..!

I was told that the platform was pretty small and a little shaky...coz it was not meant for performances...so i put in very light steps ( its hard not to stamp when you are doing Indian classical steps) and minimal jumps or runs....still it was enough!! at least enough for me! I in fact thanked Goddess Saraswati for the opportunity...(i must have unconsciously bugged Her so much :P ) and also prayed that i made no mistakes as i knew how many of my friends would be recording and uploading it on FB!!! that was a scary thought coz i have my dance and music teachers on my FB and having them watch the video will be nerve wrecking....and guess what...i remembered every step....and felt totally at easy on that little stage....no special effects or spot lights...but just me and my Goddess in Dance of Saraswati :) I was so delighted that i dedicated the dance to all my dance gurus. And since part of the music is played with the instrument Sitar....i dedicated that part of dance to my sitar master Samuel J Dass too :)  

Please excuse the first one min...where you will be hearing my good friend's voice who was recording ...she was only concerned that the audience cant see me though it was our idea to have all lights turned off till i was on stage and started dancing...hahha..

So here it is...my very simple ...yet my very own interpretation of the Dance of Saraswati....with the sun rising....lotus blooming...birds flying...rivers flowing and there we see Her dancing in joy....one with nature....one soul in ALL!

Hope you like it :)

Me in Kitaro's Dance of Saraswati

A window to a secret garden :)

Two weeks ago i was in Ipoh, and since it was school holidays we decided to take my nephew for a outing. Just a day trip somewhere around Ipoh itself. Finally decided to visit the caves at Kek Look Tong in Gunung Rapat area. I have not been there though i am from Ipoh. So it was first time for all of us except my sis in law who has been there often. I have seen pictures of some caves at Gua Tempurung Ipoh and knew it will be interesting. So i was pretty excited to go.

As we reached the entrance, the first thing that caught my attention was the hilltop where there was an opening which looked like a window. 

I was already excited to see what was beyond.....yet little did i know of the beauty hidden behind that hill! Now it makes sense why the hill decided to have a little window.....it was inviting you to see through it...reminding you to get to the other side...

So we walked through the cave....which was serene, cool and calming with the breeze breathing through the opening..There were huge statues of Buddha and  lovely little carvings on stones all along the walls of the cave. My mom and brother were saying..." if only this is made a Hindu temple to meditate...." and i laughed!! i said....why do you need a temple? just look at the cave...look at the formations which took millions of years ....drops by drops of pure water ....a temple build with such patience no man can ever attempt! So, meditate on the cave!! THIS IS the temple! what more do you need!?....and they were both smiling...i don't know if they agreed....but at least they couldn't argue.. :) 

I walked on amazed by every inch of the cave and...Yet...i still wasn't aware of the beauty that comes once you get to the end of the cave....

When you get to the end...you see an opening of the cave....with a view of a garden, lake and hills...simply breathtaking! From then on....my family could not stop me to have snacks by the gazebos on the way...no! who needs to snack when you have the hills nourishing your nerves! So i decided to walk alone while the others were resting. Best part is, though it was school holidays there were no crowd...and i was walking alone enjoying every view and stopping wherever i wanted to soak in its beauty... 

here's just a glimpse of it....

The lake filled with white and pink lotus...

 These giant leaves reminded me of Pandora in the movie Avatar, so huge you can sleep on it :)

What a beautiful day it was....as i walked out back to the car park....i turned to look at the window on the hilltop and smiled....coz now i know what you could see through it. I did wish i was able to hike up to the window and actually see the whole view from above...but somethings are meant to be left to your imaginations...and thats what makes nature even more beautiful! 

So, if you are in Ipoh and have no idea what to do next....remember to visit this secret garden..:)

River of Smoke

We all ask questions like, why do people become drug dealers and why isn't the government doing anything to stop them ...but then if you read this book " River of Smoke" by Amitav Ghosh you will see how complicated the situation is and how it seems an impossible task to stop this trade. 

First of all, the author is simply brilliant and has done unbelievable level of research regarding Opium tradings in China in the 19th century. He simply transports you into the very streets of ancient and mystical towns of China and makes you walk along with their people to witness it all. As you watch what happens in the alleys and the crowded waterways of 19th century Canton, you will be drawn into the pass and begin to see every transaction that takes place in the opium trade. You will come to know the merchants from Bombay who have become millionaires by smuggling opium into China, you will speak with the native workers, coolies, sailors and servants, you will meet the European merchants. You will know what each and everyone one of them had for breakfast or what type of clothes they wore and what language they spoke. You will know their strength and weaknesses and their family members.   

And while you are getting acquainted with them all, suddenly you get a whole picture of whats happening...you see how the British through East India Company smuggled opium into China and how cheaply it was grown in India and then shipped off to be distributed by Indian merchants to the local Chinese population. And how the poorest of people became millionaires. Within decades these merchants became part of the community in Canton...they married the Chinese women and had children who also got involved in the illegal trading of drugs as well.  Then, when it was all too late, with more and more people becoming addicted to drugs, the Emperor decides to banish the poisonous trade for good. 1000s of people were arrested and 1000s of pounds of opium were confiscated. All foreign merchants were held under arrest until they surrendered their cargo worth millions of dollars and it was all burnt publicly.

But will the more powerful British government give in to this? No! Of course not. They have been making crazy amount of money from this trade. So, that's how the Opium War happened! 

How strange is that? A country going to war,  literally to poison their people through an illegal trade. How unfair was that! It has got to be the worst reason for any battle! And its not hard to see that money is the reason. This is of course in a big scale and it all seems unfair but what about the small things which drives people to act in similar ways in their daily lives...ever noticed them?

Sometimes people are willing to sell contaminated food from their stall just so they don't lose their profit for the day. But how do they sleep knowing someone must have fallen ill that day because of their food? Or someone might sell you a product which they know is not genuine. How do they sleep knowing someone who trusted them has lost their money for a cheap product. 

I am always baffled how people could be content living with money which they made by cheating others. I would rather be happily starving then to be wealthy feeling guilty all the time!

Desperate? but who is not? if every desperate person chooses to cheat someone...then the world would not have survived this long. The whole system would have collapsed. It is the genuine people who are making the world go round. It is for them the sun has not given up shining. It is for them the sea is still contained up to its shores...otherwise we would be all drowned together!

So, lets stop giving excuses and be more genuine, the world isn't ugly as most people regard it nowadays. I believe the world is getting more and more beautiful. People are getting more and more beautiful. Only problem is people have the technology to share only the fewer ugly side instantly which takes the attention away from all the goodness that's going on around us. Shift your focus for once and look for the good things happening and you will see that you are not able to share it all everyday for there's just so much going on. 

We too are drugged....to believe that only the evil is spreading its wings...we fail to see the whole sky above it...all clear and blue! Lets not be drifted by the river of smoke...wake up and look! and you will sure find it! whatever it is that you are looking for....is waiting to be discovered by you!

One Hundred and Four Horses

What made me buy this book? Horses!! of course...i love horses...so strong...yet so elegant and loving. What an amazing animal it is. Then, as i read the synopsis i found out that the story was set during Robert Mugabe's land invasions in Zimbabwe and how this family was forced to flee with their horses. What more do you need to hear before you buy it!! 

This book made me wonder, how could you run for your lives with 104 horses!! How could anyone do that? I mean, i always felt lucky that i never had to pack my things and move from the place i was born until now as my parents still live in the house i was born and i still have some of my childhood stuffs in the cupboards or under the beds. Though i now live 2 and hours away from home...i never had to lose the memories of the place i was born. If i had to run for my life from there...what would i have packed?? Clothes..? money?? some photos maybe...books?? and my doggie of course...but if i had 104 horses to bring along?? what would i have done?? I honestly could not imagine it! Especially to think there are brutal people coming after to kill me, would i risk bringing along 104 horses? Though i surely would want to rescue those horses...would i know how i could do that..?  Again...i cant imagine it. But i am now convinced that it is possible. Especially because this story is not from time when Jesus or Krishna was walking among people inspiring them with miracles and love....no...it happened during our time...while i was going to  college, enjoying my student life. While i was planning my dream wedding, or was organizing family gatherings and even still killing myself laughing at Road Runner or Tom & Jerry on TV..yes while i thought the whole world was doing more or less the same things...there was this family who was in danger of being brutally murdered with their 3 young kids and yet chose not to flee the country as their friends and relatives did simply because they could not abandon their horses!!they risked it all to save their beloved horses. 

Even more inspiring is the fact that it was not all their own horses. Some accumulated as they went from one farm to another and found horses left by owners who fled or some from owners who approached them before leaving the country to request them to take in their horses as well as they had no heart to put them down. So, the Retzlaff family took in peoples' horses as well. Then when the invasions reached their farm...again they ran to the next farm. They went on and on....risking their lives each time...for years!! till they finally crossed the borders into Mozambique ermmm WITH 104 HORSES! Is it not a miracle??

So, what i learnt from this story?

That, no matter what age this world seems to be moving towards....technology or not...Mars or not...Aliens or not...one thing for sure is the human strength and the unbreakable bond shared among all living things. We marvel at mothers who will risk anything for their own children...but now that seems ordinary when compared to what this family did for their horses! So, its not about bond between mother and children...its about the bond with all living things...something we may not even realise until it is put to test. The human strength is just unbelievable. On normal circumstances, we might grumble even when packing a few books to school as it is a hassle yet we are capable of packing ourselves with 104 rescued horses to flee the country. Is it not amazing what we CAN do if only we decide to do it! And is it also not disturbing to wonder how much of our capabilities are going to waste simply because we are not determined!! We limit ourselves based on what we see around us. We see everyone do a few set of things ...the "Normal" things and we come to believe that is all we can naturally do. But why settle for "normal"....? Why not go beyond?? It may seem crazy to many ...even The Retzlaff family were called crazy when they refused to leave the country for their horses...but then they did it ....didn't they??

Why let others decide what you can do! Its our precious life! ONE precious life! a gift in our hands to be tested only by ourselves....why give it to others to be abused! Lets have it back....lets live this precious life the way we want! crazy or not....never mind.... lets just run with our horses... just as strong...as elegant...as determined...as focused as the horses...and lets see where it takes us :)  

The Book Thief

I was taking the train to Ipoh and decided to get a book to read through the journey. Since a friend suggested The Book Thief and also because i had not watched the movie, i decided to get it! Didn't know much about the story except that it was set during Nazi Germany and this little girl goes on stealing books. 

As i was all set for the journey, and as soon as i was seated, i started reading the very first chapter....and it was a little weird when i realised that the story begins in a train journey too! Even more interesting was that the story was narrated by Death!! It begins with Death taking a little boy who was travelling in that train. Then it got so interesting that the next thing i knew was i was nearing my destination station...and so much had happened in that two hours. Wars...death...books burned...death....books stolen...death....concentration camps...while death sharing its point of view whenever it decides to take peoples lives...hmmm pretty interesting and yet...a little scary! 

It made me realise how something we don't have or not allowed to have becomes an obsession. We want it even more when we know we can't have it. As in this story books were being burned in piles by the Nazis. Books were precious to those who loved them. When reading is regarded as crime...all the more you WANT to read. Even if it means you must steal! Because it gets that tempting.

Just like that...we all tend to go after everything that we are denied rather then working from things that has been allowed...We keep chasing our tails knowing we will never catch it! But eventually there comes a beautiful point when we stop chasing and settle down. That's when we begin to see everything else that has been following us trying to get our attention so desperately. And then we go....ooh dear...! have we been chasing after things that we want or have we really been running away from the things that want us badly! 

Hahhaa...i find life SIMPLY interesting...it has such an intricate plan that you just cant go out of its lines...no matter how much you run...you end up at a point where Life decides you to be! You sometimes end up staring blankly at walls wondering what happened to all that running you did...?? That's when you stop running and turn around to see all those goodness that has been chasing after you from ALL angles!! Then suddenly you have SO many options to choose from....everything beautiful...too much even to handle! Then the running stops....and living begins...you see it all...you see it at plain sight! really!! 

If you are not convinced....just stop running for a moment and look! i mean really LOOK! :) 

Paths of Glory

I just finished reading this true story about a man's extraordinary quest to climb Mt Everest. His name is George Mallory and you can get all details and videos about him if you google his name. So, i don't have to explain the story much except that he was last seen 600ft from the top of Mt Everest in 1924 at the age of 37 and his body was found only in 1999. It is still unknown whether he reached the summit.

While most people say it is sad that the world would never know if he reached the summit when he was that close to it and should have been the first ever man to reach the top if he actually did. But somehow i dont find it sad. I mean, how many of us would get to die 600ft from the top of Everest?? Imagine the views he had in his last moments. Imagine the excitement he must have felt when he was THAT close to being the first ever man to reach the top. Imagine the beauty surrounding him...imagine the experience of touching the divine nature. He had been dreaming of that moment since he was just a child and he knew all the risks he was taking...he knew death could happen at any moment if attempted to reach his dreams...he knew he may never see his family again....though he loved them more than anything and YET! He couldnt resist the climb...why?? I guess its because we human beings are made to strive for the best. We are not to settle for anything. The more we achieve the more we want to achieve. That's just human nature. Otherwise we would all be like bears, hibernating after each achievement. 

I realise that people are mostly worried about how long they would live rather than how passionately they live. And the fear of death or danger stops us from living altogether. We try to go risk free! and that is why it gets boring. 

We take diversion at every risky path and end up walking on a boring one way with no spectacular views or exciting twists and turns to negotiate....we could even end up sleep walking...day in and day out...going on like robots coz our lifestyle doesn't even require thinking!! Then one day...when we get old we look back and start wondering what on earth have we been doing all these while. Most of us do live this way....and what happens to us after our super long life?? People forget us within days and the world goes on like nothing happened. Now compared to this man whos body was found like 70 years after he died and it was well preserved in the icy mountain top. While he kept the whole world doing research on him even after he died he left a mystery for the world to figure out...people are writing books about him. We still know a person by the name of George Mallory lived in this planet....why?? how?? simply because he followed his dreams despite the risks that he faced. If he refused to take that risk and chose to live with his family....yes of course he might have lived another 50 or 60 years...but would we be talking about him today?? 

No, because no one talks about anyone who has simply lived long without any passion. Of course we cant all climb the Everest. But we do all have a passion. Some of us simply ignore that passion and bury the little dreams to have a "normal" life. Then we complain that life is unfair or boring! What can life do...when we keep taking diversions at every exciting path it puts in front of us!! 

Passion is not only about wanting to achieve super huge things like becoming a super star or legend. Its about loving the roses on our path. Its about looking at the beauty of life. Its about enjoying the privilege of being on this planet ...its about having interest to know what all this is!! Its about wondering how on earth are those stars shining for a billion years...Its about admiring the full moon even from the little hut we live in. Its about being passionate about everything! From food, to clothes....colours and animals, people and trees....the rain or shine ...the nature in all. When we are passionate ...no days would seem ordinary anymore. Every minute can be joyous. Only then ...our hearts would come to know what we want most....then we will identify our true passion and then we can follow it. And once we are on that path...everything else falls beautifully in its place and life starts making sense. And only then, we start living.....till then we are merely dragging ourselves from day to day.

Some might argue that life is so hectic now and how is it possible to find our passion amidst the chaos. I think it is chaotic because no one is following their passion. Everyone is crammed up in one standard path of making money and nothing else. So of course the path is crowded and chaotic. If each and every one followed their passion there would be a thousand other paths to take and every path would be beautiful and calm. We are suffocating ourselves by walking in the crowd. Lets get out of it while we can. It is not impossible...again..there will be risks...but i would rather be preserved on the top of Everest for 100 years then to be gone with the wind in a minute :) Woudnt you!!?

:)

Stay Where You Are!

Recently, i got a new book shelve for my living room and was arranging my books in it. That's when i noticed the kind of books I've been reading over the years. They dint seem to fit into any category in particular...from biographies and historical fictions to crime and sports, the lighter Sophie Kinsella series or romantic I heart London and even Children's books like Narnia mingled with spiritual books as well. So, this funny thought came to my mind about what people would say when they see the collections I've read?? Coz I've heard people say, you can tell a lot about a person from the kind of books they read. And what would they say about me?? So, i decided to take a picture of a few books from different genres and post it on my FB and ask my friends what they thought of me :P 

Here's the pic:

I got some interesting replies from friends like Saras, who said i was trying to connect all of it to something which i am in search of....and Joethi said ..i was a spirit of lightness and joy...and Lavanya said i was SEARCHING, and so on.

But the interesting thing is, more than my friends, i saw something new about myself from the picture which i did not see before! :) 

I realised that i placed all books at random spots except one, which is Osho's Krishna. I started the arrangement by first putting Krishna in the center then went on adding the others...So i realised that i have found what i was looking for all these years in Osho's Krishna. This book is 688 pages and its quite impossible to share the best parts coz theres just too much. So i will not quote from the book but i will just try to share in my own words what it says..

This book particularly says, we should live life as a whole, not just accepting some parts and rejecting others...no....we take all good, bad, pure or evil in the same light. Not easy yes! but not impossible either...! If God intended only good things to prevail...He had all the power to create only good things...he would have made us all angels...why bother creating evil only to be overcome by goodness..?? why would HE do that?

It makes sense that the universe can only work with both good and bad...that's life as it is! But when we keep fighting with everything bad, we kind of loose the zest to enjoy the good! coz we are too tired fighting, drained and left to drag ourselves through the good. This should not be misunderstood as being passive. It doesnt mean when you see cruelty you ignore and go on with life. No...it doesnt mean that. It means...you act according to what the moment demands...if you see a puppy being abused you save it of course! but you dont brand life as evil just because one person abused a puppy. You also dont brand life as Good simply because you saved it...no you dont brand! You just act and get on to the next scene. No need to be angry...no need to bang your head and cry over it..that moment was done...now next! yes thats what it means...

And in this particular book, Osho says, Krishna is LIFE. That's why he reflects everything...He is a little naughty boy stealing butter, a handsome youth drawing gopis to Him, a warrior at war in Mahabaratha, and yet he dances and plays his flute in joy...He is not sitting under a tree meditating...no ...He is simply living through joyously everything that is good and bad, whatever the moment demands...that He is! Isn't that beautiful!? That's what everything else in the universe is doing but human beings. Being spontaneous is what life is about...like the river...curve when needed..splash over when obstructed ...fall at the edges...rise over the boulders and simply flow with the current.. then merge with the ocean!!

So, coming back to the picture. I realised that i have consciously put Krishna in the center and everything else at random. And that is life. We need to face, accept, endure, strive, enjoy and witness everything that happens around us from the center. For as long as we know the center we will not be drawn out into any direction. We will not get lost...We will come back with every experience. And better still, if we can stay in the center at all times...no running out or running in. simply stay where we are! Because the center of our being is pure joy! we are the center of our universe. That's the magic of life...everyone has a center and yet it is all just one field. Its us who keep running around and feeling miserable. We can work on the radius...if we have been running so far out...now its time to make the distance a little closer to the center....and gradually i am sure we can come back...yes not easy...yet not impossible! 

So....till we meet again...

Stay Where You Are! :D   

Stand out :)

Been going for morning walks at the Lake Gardens at Subang Jaya and have been enjoying not only the exercise but also the lovely sights of the lake with Lotus flowers and the beautiful sunrises. Just like that, two weeks ago i was there, waiting for my friend Joethi to join me while hubby decided to walk first i was just standing by the lake looking at the morning blooms.

I usually do not carry my phone when i go walking but on that day, i decided to have it since my friend was not there yet and she might call me when she gets to the car park area. As i was looking at the lovely pink lotus flowers bloomed i noticed something for the first time. At first i was looking at one part of the lake where there were lots of leaves, buds and flowers clustered and as i shifted my gaze towards the right of the lake, i noticed ONE flower standing out alone! So i took a few steps towards the right and a little closer to the edge of the lake to have a better look at this flower. I thought it looked extra special so decided to take a picture of it. As i snapped the first pic with my mobile and looked at the image i realised something interesting. The reflections of course. The reflection of the fully bloomed flower, the bud and also the of pieces of wood that were stuck in the lake were so clear. Then, i looked to my left at the cluster again and found that none of the flowers or the buds were able to reflect as perfectly as the one flower that stood alone.

At that moment, i sensed the lotus saying this to me:

"Clear the cluster in your heart and mind, free yourself from the crowd. MOVE! have some space! Keep the buds but at a distance, watch them bloom and rejoice in its beauty but stand apart, be with yourSELF! your soul needs space to be able to reflect. You have everything you need to be able to reflect. So MOVE. Move within yourself till your find that space. Enough crowd, enough mess, enough! Time to let yourself to be seen. When theres space, everything gets its share of beauty, the buds or the pieces of woods all get to reflect beautifully and then you have created a kind of wholeness in that beauty"

Hmmm....so yes, that's what the lotus said to me:)

And i thought, how true is that. We all need space, and by space i don't mean physically. Its mentally and spiritually. We hold too much in our hearts that theres no space for reflection. We hold parents, brothers, sisters, children, husband and wife or even friends including their problems and our problems all in a messy cluster! 

We fail to see that everything and everyone has their place and we need to have that space between us no matter what the relationship is. Everyone needs that space to reflect. When we are overly attached to someone or something we are constantly blocked by emotions which creates such a messy cluster of thoughts and thats where we dwell day in and day out. Then we wonder why we get so tired by the end of the day! hahha...

That doesnt mean we cant have the leaves and buds with us. We can have them all at a beautiful distance in our mind. Then we get a better view in fact! We can watch them bloom, and also be able to look at our own reflection. Only then theres beauty in the lake of life! Otherwise its just mere clusters! 

So lets learn how to stand out, bloom and reflect! In order to do that we first need to know that EVERY one has their own beauty and we cant capture them to live in our own shadow forever. Thats not fair, we need to learn how to let go and let things happen for ourselves as well for others. That way, there will be less conflict, less misunderstandings, less tension and of course more LOVE! :)

Happy reflecting yourself :D 

PraNam

When i was about 3 or 4 years old...just like most kids i loved the toy guitar. I would be so careful when i play with it as the strings were made of plastic and it was quite fragile. I would tighten the strings pretending to tune the guitar to the right tone...but guess what! none of my guitars would last more than a week....why?? Because i have a brother of course!! He would somehow break the strings or the whole guitar itself. And those days parents dont buy toys weekly or daily...so i will have to wait for another birthday or for some gifts from uncles or friends before i could play with another guitar. 

Funny thing is i never complained much about it...whenever my brother broke my toy...i would cry but i will not insist they buy me a new one. I somehow understood that i will have to wait for it no matter how much i wanted it.

Then when i grew up to be about 6 or 7 i was very interested to learn how to play piano. Ermm i dont mean the toy but the real one...i never had a toy piano! I kept telling my mum that i wanted to learn how to play the piano. But well, piano was expensive. Something i did not know then of course. But since i mentioned it so often, one day my mum decided to take me to a nearby music school. We walked from home...i remember it so well because i was SO excited. 

Walked across the huge playground in front of my house and through the narrow lanes between the terrace houses, building up the excitement as we got nearer to the row of sundry shops. One of those shop lots was a music school. A small one of course but the moment i saw the 3 or 4 pianos on the ground floor my heart started beating fast. I couldnt believe i was getting that close to a piano! As we entered, a young chinese lady greeted us with a smile. Mum asked her in her broken English mixed with Malay....Ada piano class ah? How much fees ah? And the lady says RM25 per month. All these happening while i was standing with my mum, holding her hand tight, feeling a little nervous and excited too. Then this piano teacher shows us the pianos and plays a note or two and asks my mum if she wishes to register me for the classes. And i was looking at both of them and the piano and almost believed that i would hear my mum say "YES" 

Next thing i realized, i was walking home still holding her hand tight and having this strange uncomfortable feeling which only MUCH later i recognized it to be "SAD". "Too expensive maa...maybe can join later ok". Those were the words (of course in tamil) which crushed my heart and yet i did not show her my disappointment. I did not cry but i remember how heavy i felt my heart then! 

Then somehow i never asked again especially after i grew up to know how much a piano costs, i knew i cant insist on it. But thankfully dance came as a rescue! started attending indian classical dance classes when i was 16 and that went on and on like forever, even after i got married...so somehow i ignored my interest in music.

But whenever i watched a show or someone play an instrument.... i always felt a little sad for not learning myself. I always told myself that i must learn how to play an instrument! And since the beginning of this year...the urge to learn music got a little intense and i was like craving for it. But i wasnt sure about where to go. I had "Veena" in mind and was browsing for names of teachers and schools around KL. But somehow wasnt happy with any of the links i came across..it was either too far from my place or the time or day of classes werent suitable or simply that i had no idea who the guru was. So finally one day as i was praying in my pooja room, looking at Goddess Saraswati with her Veena in hand...i told her "Please maa, find me a guru, will wait for a sign from you! as i am feeling lost about where to go" :) Then i just went on not thinking much about it for another month or so when one day, as i was chatting with my good friend Joethi over the phone, she says " Anu, cant go walking on wed coz i have sitar class on that day"  And i was like " huh?? you are taking sitar classes??" Where?? WHo??? And she tells me ..."going to Samuel J. Dass's beginners classes" And my eyes widened in disbelief " OMG! are you serious?!! you are going to THE Samuel J Dass's class???

 I never thought he would have classes for adults like us as he will have lots of young and upcoming students to focus on which was One reason why i never called him! But here my friend tells me that he does have classes for adults and i can join too! That moment, i heard Goddess Saraswati speaking through my friend! Really...thats exactly how i felt! So,I told her, ok i will join classes soon. Hung up and thanked Goddess Saraswati for the quick response ;)

The following week i followed my friend to the class just to observe and to let him know that i am interested to join. That was my first time meeting him and i couldnt believe that it was happening for real. Not just about meeting him but that i was actually going to learn from him!! 

When the class was over, my friend gave me the sitar to hold, just to have a feel of it. And she even snapped a pic of me :) My first ever time touching a sitar actually. Felt so beautiful even though i couldnt play a single note yet then. The instrument surely has a divine energy which recognizes your soul...

So, its been a month now and i am loving the sound so much though it is only the basic notes of Sa re ga ma pa dha ni.  Coz listening to the notes coming from your own fingers is simply amazing! :D

Then about 3 weeks back Master Samuel had a concert organized as a soft launch for the Swara Community Arts Centre which will be opened by end of this year. This show was called Pranam which means the beginning. And it was also my first time watching a sitar concert live. And it was so joyous...i loved it! Just loved every piece he played! Though i wouldnt understand the science of it or the nuances yet...it just got my soul dancing in joy.  

It so happened that as i was browsing for master Samuel's you tube videos of his pass performances i came across this one video of him playing the raga Sindhu Bhairavi. Now, i have no idea what the raga is about ...what are the swaras or the characters or the mood or whatsoever. And yet i was drawn to it like though it was communicating with me...it was surely speaking with me...i closed my eyes and let it speak....what i heard may not be anything that i could put in words...( not that i am that good with words anyway:P) 

But i know for sure it said something like this...

"Look! ...how the river flows through the zigzag of its path...over the rocks and boulders not caring an ounce about the angry earth spewing fire through volcanoes...or the storms and tornadoes that rips life apart.....no, the river unaffected by its surroundings flows joyously in its path ...faces everything that comes its way, and yet goes on and on for it knows the truth....the ocean. So why are you holding back....LET GO like the river, never mind whats happening around you. Stay on your path and flow joyously"

If you dont believe me...listen to this..you have to listen to the whole thing especially from the 2nd min....then tell me if you dont hear it speak :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNl0s59DDzQ&sns=fb


Anyway...then as i was watching Pranam...he announced the final piece of the concert he was about to play and it was Raag Bhairavi! And he played the exact piece which i heard on you tube But this time, hearing it live....i couldnt hear a single word...no it wasnt speaking anymore because it was absolutely blissful...no words needed..you could only feel it with your soul. Really if you think i am exaggerating, then do listen to the link above!

So once again, thanks to my friend Joethi who in the form of Goddess Saraswati, introduced me to this blissful music and master! Hope to post a piece i play myself sometime (ermm it mite be in years...but the soonest possible ok ! :) 

A Dancer At Dance

There is a world beyond all chaos, where your heart beats in one rhythm, in harmony with the divine energies. Its a place where the Gods dwell. You find your self in trance as you step into it. You feel your soul lifted so high and light which makes you want to stay there forever. 

It is where a dancer is at dance!

A beautiful title for a beautiful Arangetram (graduation in dance)

This lovely girl Geethika Sree is my dance guru's daughter and having seen her as a baby and also watched her dance from the age of 3 made this graduation ceremony truly special. It was amazing to see how this little baby girl grew up to be such a talented and matured dancer over the years. 

Whenever i hear people complain about life and how it is impossible to do anything for mere passion i could only smile and think about all these dedicated artists who have been living in the same world and yet have been going on and on in this magical path, untouched by this "difficult" world. How do they do it? Why would they do it?? What do they get out of it??

When we go watch a performance, all we see in plain sight is a person dancing on stage for about 2 hours. But what we do not see is the many years of dedication, patience, sacrifices, suffering and tears that eventually blooms into one divine performance.

You cant just memorize a few steps and become a dancer....you need to become the steps itself. You need to merge with the music. You need to surrender to its rhythm. You have to connect to the hundreds of souls watching you. You need to be the dance itself. Its a trance like state which turns you into a soul catcher. You have your audience dance with you. Then ....you are truly a Dancer At Dance. Geethika is surely one of those! 

During the show last night, before every item performed she explains the dance in words and in one of those narrations she says this...

" Leave all your meditations, leave all your yearnings. Come dance with me"  

And i thought, yes, why not? When people meditate for decades to get that ONE glimpse of divinity, she brings all Gods down dancing in joy right before our eyes. So, why not?

You witness Lord Muruga teasing Valli. You hear Lord Rama speaking with his friend Hanuman, you watch playful Lord Krishna and you dance with his Gopis, you fight all evil with Goddess Durga. Above all...we unknowingly enter the peaceful state of meditation where you are not disturbed by the world outside....you have plunged into your soul where everything is joyful! Everything is colourful, bright and beautiful! So yes....leave all meditations and yearnings..and dance! :)

In Indian classical dance, the graduation is regarded as the very beginning to dance. And i truly believe this little goddess will bloom more petals and i am waiting to watch all her performances. May God bless her with everlasting joy of dance!

Thank you Geethika....for adding life into this world :)

Maleficent

I think this is the first time ever i decided to write about a movie! And its not because i don't watch movies but because i want to enjoy every movie i watch without over analyzing it. I think it spoils all the fun of going to the cinema and being entertained if we are constantly finding whats not right in the movie...right?? So, whenever i go to the cinema i just shut down and enjoy every moment of the movie without thinking too much about it. But this time, right after watching Maleficent with hubby and friends, i couldn't help discussing with them about the movie. It was such a simple story line with such a HUGE message! 

Almost every child in the world especially girls would have heard of Sleeping Beauty. About how the evil witch cursed her when she was born. But i was pretty surprised at myself for NEVER EVER questioning why would a witch take the trouble to come and  curse a poor little helpless baby for a mere reason of not being invited to the event??

I am not going to spoil the fun for those of you who have not watched it but intend to. So i will not get into the details of the story. But those of you who have watched already will understand what i am about to say here.

When i got home from the cinema, i wrote on my FB status a few lines which just popped up in my mind...which is this 

" Maleficent....yes we ourselves create all evil which then starts haunting us and then we fight them through our lives not realizing that all we need to overcome it is ..Love"

Isn't it true? We provoke some people to turn against us then we call them our enemies! We do that all the time...of course most of the times we don't realise it. Because we are so absorbed in satisfying our own needs that anything we do seems right to us. Ive heard about this saying which goes like this...

"theres always three sides to a story...theirs, yours and the truth".

How true is that??..everyone has their version of a story.

This happens so often within a family. For instance we misunderstand our parents or uncles and aunties or cousins and come to a conclusion before even seeing things from their point of view. Who knows ...we might react the same way if we were in their places!! But we judge them and start hating them which then creates a tension in the relationship. Then, whenever we face them, we are already sure that the other person also thinks the same way about us because we obviously see what we choose to see!! So anything the person says fits perfectly  into the wrong idea column we have created for them in our minds. For all you know, the other person may not have had any such ideas as we imagined it. So the tension grows and eventually breaks the relationship. That's how we create enemies most of the times.

  

Worst of all...by creating these enemies, we end up behaving worst then them! We become the monsters ourselves without realising it. And if only we come to our senses and think about it, we will be shocked to see that those "enemies" we created are far kinder than us!! That's when we panic!! We start thinking...oops! what the hell am i becoming here. This is not even ME! Then of course, "true love" saves us all...eventually.

But what is "true love" ?? Where do we find it?? But before that, i dont quite understand the term "True Love". How could it be love if it is NOT true...its either LOVE or NO LOVE)

..anyway...where do we find love...?

We find it in the most subtle moment when we have given up all ego and succumb to our true selves. Then...we wake up and we are also able to wake anyone up by sharing our love. Suddenly all evil seem to disappear ...and all enemies turns..errm not angels yet maybe...but at least just normal. Isn't normal good enough... I'll be bored to death if everyone around me were angels !! i mean what do you gossip about if no one does anything wrong !! :D So...just the same, we have to know we ourselves are no angels!! so its only natural that someone else might gossip a little about us of and on...well, as long as it doesn't do much damage in our lives, we might as well take it lightly and move on! Otherwise we start creating enemies again...and the cycle goes on and on. 

hmmm...so that's more or less the message i got from this movie...of course it might be different for you. I thought it was truly a beautiful movie. Do watch if you haven't :)

Yes...evil truly has a beginning! it begins with us !!

Awesome movie! 

  

Milan Kundera

The name above is totally new to me. Ive never heard of this French-Czech novelist until recently when my friend Saras got us this book from India. Only then i knew he was a popular author with a number of interesting books. And the book she bought is titled THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF BEING. 

I thought the title itself was pretty interesting because why should Lightness be Unbearable ??? hmm...so i had to read it ...though i had an array of exciting books by Osho to begin with, I decided to read this one first. Yes, just because i was curious about how lightness could be unbearable ??

As i read through the first few chapters, i realised that it was not going to be easy grasping the essence of this book. His writing was in such a way that you need to pay full attention to every line and every chapter to be able to put the story together.

The story mainly takes place in Prague in the 1960s and 1970s set among the Czech community living during the Communist era. Its about a husband and wife and a dog. I will not get into the details of the story line here. I am still fascinated by the thought of lightness being unbearable !! so i will get straight to that! haha...

OK, the writer has taken an opposite view of Friedrich Nietzsche's philosophy of eternal recurrence which means life is an eternal happening, similar to the Hindus belief that life has no end or beginning. Whatever ends....begins and whatever begins ...ends...so life goes on and on and we return again and again to life.  

So as an alternative idea, the writer has built the base of this story with an understanding that life happens only once. We are born to live just once and it ends there when we die. So the lightness comes in knowing that we do not have to come back again and again to this world. So that was the whole idea....i can understand why anyone that has to live through an invasion and its aftermath might feel that coming back to this world is heavy! Yes...now i get the story and the title!

The lightness comes in knowing this is all happening just once and we are done with it forever! So, what does it matter if we break some rules, or go with our feelings...not bothering about humiliations or whatsoever pain inflicted upon us. Sounds reasonable doesn't it :)

But then, i see it this way, lightness is when we know that we are true to our heart no matter what the circumstances are. Whether life is a one time thing or recurrence, i don't know, but to me lightness is when we can go to sleep every night not feeling guilty or regret, waking up with no fear and going through the day without a mind full of contradictions or conflicts. 

Still its not even about doing big things like charity, or hugging patients or rescuing animals or planting trees....no...just about having gone through the day with love. Nothing deliberate about it. Just being loving...to those around me ...people or animal or things...just being me is enough. That is lightness! What could be lighter than being yourself!

Heavy is when we go against our heart.

Light is when we go with it....that's my simple conclusion! 

So, it was an interesting read. Tough one, but worth it! 

have a light day :)