Tree Time Stories

What happens when 2 sitar students and a yogini go on a picnic? :) 

As we sat on one of the wooden picnic tables at the park by the lake, laid the table with the pretty tea set made in Japan (which i borrowed from mum) a basket of scones, cheese breads and some delicious rambutans, a book about history of amazing Asian gardens, a flask of hot ginger infused tea which we were just about to pour into the lovely cups when we spotted a guy nearby staring right into one of the palm trees behind us...we were wondering what he was doing standing there all alone. So we kept an eye on him while having our tea and buns. After a while we noticed that the guy was chatting away, still facing the tree and looking up at the sky and spreading his arms as though he was absorbing the energies around him...that's when my friend said "looks like he is talking to the tree...nothing to worry then, he is just one of us" And all three of us burst out laughing and said..oh yes, that's so true! 

We so love the trees that we go lie on the grass under the oldest raintrees for hours till it gets dark...just having some homemade snacks and drinks, sharing random stories and somehow, the things we chat about turns out to be the most interesting ones compared to stuff we talk  about when we meet elsewhere like restaurants or even our homes. No matter where it starts, the conversations somehow gets diverted into talking  about the universe and its magical realms, light, life, aliens, music, dance, colours, books, travelling, crystals, and so on..we usually do not realise the hours that passes till the security guards at the park come shining their torch lights on us prompting us to leave... and we would reluctantly pack our stuff only then realising how long we have been sitting there.

These picnics have reminded us of how life is as it is, before we thought everything needed to be captured in photographs or published on social media. Times when we had a meal simply by sharing the moment with a friend or family and not necessarily with the whole world to see. We wrote our experiences on our personal diaries (i mean the real ones) to be kept in a secret compartment of a drawer so our brothers will not read and make fun it! But now, we snap EVERY moment to be shared..and then forget to look at it again coz everyone is too busy snapping new pictures. To me pictures are precious...i love looking at old pictures because it contains so much stories and  those imperfect shots before digital cameras came, held the most interesting stories...one picture was enough to bring the whole atmosphere back, remembering everything we said or did on that particular day and how the chain of events led to that moment captured in the picture. One shot was enough to say it all. But now, we take hundreds of pictures and yet have no stories to tell coz everything is missed while we are staring at ourselves through those tiny lenses. The vastness of life can never be captured in a shot...it will always remain a tiny part of  the whole and yet we are deceived into believing that these glimpses could reflect the real experiences.

When you choose to arrange a pretty picnic basket and wear a lovely dress and your favourite accessory , do you do it so the pictures will look good or because you yourself should feel good. How about the friends who sit with you chatting and having tea, sharing the moment for real? Isn't that more important then to simply show the pictures to another person who wasn't even there? No matter how many pictures you shared, only you heard the bird cooing and scanned through the old cluster of bamboos to find where the sound was coming from. Only you felt the warmth in your heart when your friend brought a little card with a handwritten message which included a few lines of Irish Blessings especially for you, not because it was your birthday or any other celebration but simply coz it was a beautiful day out... only  you sat there looking at the ants crawling over blades of grass and said to your friend "These ants...will never be able to see the whole world with those tiny eyes..in fact they won't even see the whole person sitting above them coz we are too huge in its vision...if we were to explain the vastness of the universe and the planets humans have come to know ...wouldn't it be way beyond their capacity to imagine it even...would they believe you?? Isn't that how it is with human beings? We believe as much as we can see and deny that which we don't...but how small are we compared to this reality? We will never know" Now, how could a picture show this moment of truth you felt while sitting at the park? If we cant give the whole truth to another person who wasn't there...what is the point of pictures? 

I am not saying we should not take pictures...for i LOVE photography and how some shots bring the magic through it. I am only saying, we shouldn't miss the reality while trying to capture it. Enjoy the moments with all your heart and soul and you will never need photographs to keep the memories...take one picture that tells the story rather then a hundred random shots that says nothing. So that was our first picnic of the year 2019...more to come...more to share...soon :) 

When the MOON calls :)

Hubby and friends planned a gathering in Cameron Highlands and decided to go on 2nd week of November. But since one of our friend's birthday fell on the 3rd week, we all changed the plan and went on 3rd weekend instead, so we could celebrate her birthday while we were there. So that's how we ended up going on the 3rd week of November instead of 2nd week. And 4 of us were there a day earlier since the rest could not take leave and could only come the following day. So, the four of us decided to check into the cottage house early on Thursday afternoon. Since the others were only coming the next day, we thought we would cook some simple meal in the cottage and relax instead of driving out to the town. Since we brought the electrical steamboat set along and bought some fresh vegetables at Cameron Highlands and also packed other food stuff which we could grill or boil, we decided to have a simple steamboat meal at the garden of the cottage though we were hoping it would not rain as it has been pouring everyday and it was also raining all the way from KL to Cameron!

By 8pm, weather was breezy and cold but it wasn't raining. So we set up the garden table to get started with our steamboat meal. Once all food and utensils were ready, we sat around the table, we plugged in the stove and started making the soup and also threw a few sausages on the grill pan. As we sat there waiting for the soup to boil, i looked up at the sky, and that's when i noticed a bright light behind the trees. As it wasn't clear from where i was sitting, i got up and walked to the front portion of the cottage garden to have a look and then realised that the light was actually a full moon coming up the sky. I was delighted and quickly ran into the house to get my new camera and set it up to attempt a few good shots of the full moon. 

Until that moment, i had absolutely no idea that it was full moon on that day. I took a few shots every few minutes to get different views as the moon moved upwards. Honestly it was my first time looking at a full moon that huge and bright! I was pretty happy how the pictures turned up though i am still learning how to do the manual settings, and i couldn't take too long or i would miss the moon! So i just did the best i could and here it is ...

 

When i saw the light behind the trees from the garden at the cottage

And the moon started rising to the top of the trees

When i got home after the trip and as i was looking through the pictures i snapped, i was pretty delighted to have had the chance to catch such a beautiful moonlight in such a beautiful place ...and it was all coincidence...or was it?? 

If we had stuck to the original plans of making the trip on 2nd week, then i would have missed the moon....or if we decided to have a steamboat inside the cottage as it was more convenient that way, also i would have missed the moon.. Or even if i sat facing the opposite side of the garden...i would have missed the moon! If it had continued to rain....i would have missed the moon...if the clouds formed at that hour...also i would have missed the moon...so...how many things has to be right just to catch that few moments of light? Coincidence? Or meant to be? It depends on what we believe and how we see it. Here's what i see ..

I believe life brings you what you love in the most mysterious ways...and sometimes it is amazing how much trouble it takes to give you what you love. I sure love nature and i love watching the moon even through the congested concrete walls of KL, i always try to catch the full moon whenever possible....so what if the moon decided to give me satisfying treat? What if it had planned this whole trip to give that joy? Otherwise, why was the trip postponed to the week ahead...why did we decide to cook instead of going out...why did we cook out in the cold night knowing it might rain any time instead of staying warm indoors and save the hassle of setting up the stove and food outside...why did i choose to sit facing the direction where the moon was rising...above all, why should we sit there just in time as the moon was rising...if it had been just half and hour later...i would have missed the huge moon behind the trees....how can there be so many coincidence? :)

Though it may sound strange to some of you, i do believe the moon decided i should see her that night...and it happened :) Nothing was planned and yet everything was perfect...the time, the position, the sky, the weather...the place and the camera...all in union for a divine moment with the mysterious full moon!

Just like that, if only we let nature plan our lives, you will be amazed at what it could bring you. Say i planned to catch the moonlight during this holiday...could it have happened the same way then? How often people hike up hills to catch the sunrise and come down disappointed for missing it either because it got cloudy or they were too late, or camera didnt work or it rained or whatever weird reasons...but if you take notice of life...everything that happens perfectly happens when you did not plan it or did not expect it even...nature loves surprises! It gives you what you want if you trust it! So let life work for you...dont stress about it...let it be...let it go...let it happen...and you will have the best....ALWAYS! 

Wishing you all a fullmoon moment....just stay calm...and wait for it !! 

:)   

Monique and the Mango Rains

This is a story of friendship between a young aid volunteer and an inspirational Midwife in Mali. So you might think..."gosh! i can imagine it". But believe me when i say, until you read the book you cant possibly imagine it. Of course we have heard and watched on TV about these remote African villages and their living conditions. Yet nothing prepares you for a story like this. 

Now, i don't dare to say that i can imagine what these women are going through...because i believe we simply cant imagine it. We live in a far too comfortable world where even the poorest ones among us can be considered having a comfy life, compared to Malian of course !!

I often hear pregnant mothers speak about the difficulties they go through during pregnancy, childbirth and then taking care of their babies. With so much support from family and friends..with super clean hospitals and homes. With overflowing gifts from friends and family to help us start caring for the babies. With nutritious food and all the medical care we need available. With good weather conditions where the worst could be a heavy rain or a sunny day...nothing more...nothing less ! With cars to travel anytime anywhere.  Yet...we speak about how difficult it is. And become irritated and depressed with all the pressure of being a young mother. 

Now it makes me wonder...how it is possible with the same qualities of being a women just like us, these mothers in remote parts of the world could live according to their environment and circumstances. Malians are made of the same flesh and blood as any of us. They feel the same symptoms, pain and needs when pregnant. 

But what they get in Mali is a concrete block which serves as a delivery table, where they sit naked leaned against the wall with ONE midwife attending to receive the baby with no medications or necessary medical equipment accept for a plastic tub and a colourful cotton cloth. This 15 or 16 years old pregnant girl would have to walk from her home under the scorching sun in pain to this "building" which is nothing more than a square mud brick room with corrugated tin roof gaped, ripped open by storms! Can we imagine giving birth in such conditions? I don't think so...we have never experienced that kind of heat trapped within a building with the overpowering stench coming from all those childbirths which took place in there for years.

Then right after the baby is delivered, the mother pushes herself into a sitting position, and gets off the concrete block, picks up her "pagne" on the floor (a piece of cloth they wear around the waist) and covers herself up. Walks out while blood is still trickling down to go wash herself with a bucket of water which is kept ready outside !! Then, she goes to the resting room with straw mats to lie and waits for her baby there. Then they go home with their babies and straightaway start doing all housework...fetching water, cooking and washing clothes and taking care of their husbands. No recovering period ! No vitamins and nutritious food to regain strength. 

So they simply recover while taking care of their babies with no toilets, no beds , no electricity , no running water...no rain for months...no baby clothes, almost nothing to live with ! 

AND worst of all, they usually get pregnant by the time this baby is just a few months old...and the whole process repeats ...again and again for years !

  

So this was the condition in rural Mali in the late 20th century !! and it is still about the same till today. Thank God for the help they get from volunteers which enabled the building of a proper clinic sometime around the year 2004 ! 

Here's a part from the book that explains it :-

" I knew Mali had one of the highest rates of maternal death in the world. I'd read a sobering statistic that placed a Malian woman's lifetime risk of dying in pregnancy and childbirth around one in twelve, compared to a UK woman's risk of one in nearly four thousand"

I will not share more about the story because there's just too much of it. But i cant help wondering, just HOW much have we taken for granted over here. With perfect living conditions and beautiful environment, do we bother being thankful for a MOMENT !! 

I am not saying we shouldn't be comfortable. I am just saying that we should be thankful for all the comfort we already have. Nothing wrong in wanting the best out of life but its just as important to appreciate what we have been blessed with. 

God is practically pampering us over here and yet we go on complaining. Imagine a Malian women put in our place ! She might not believe that such life is even possible because she has become part of the harsh reality in her world. 

So lets be thankful and be joyful for everything we are blessed with here. 

JUST ENJOY IT !!! :D 

  

Tantra : The Supreme Understanding

" EVEN IN ORDINARY LIFE YOU FEEL THE FUTILITY OF WORDS. IF WHATSOEVER YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING CAN BE CONVEYED BY WORDS, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NOT LIVED AT ALL. WHEN THE FIRST TIME SOMETHING STARTS HAPPENING WHICH IS BEYOND WORDS LIFE HAS HAPPENED TO YOU. LIFE HAS KNOCKED AT YOUR DOOR. AND WHEN THE ULTIMATE KNOCKS AT YOUR DOOR, YOU ARE SIMPLY GONE BEYOND WORDS - YOU BECOME DUMB, YOU CANNOT SAY; NOT EVEN A SINGLE WORD IS FORMED INSIDE. AND WHATSOEVER YOU SAY LOOKS SO PALE, SO DEAD, SO MEANINGLESS, THAT IT SEEMS THAT YOU ARE DOING INJUSTICE TO THE EXPERIENCE THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU "

:- Osho in Tantra, The Supreme Understanding 

Last weekend, Nantha and i were with our friends in Klang, and i was planning to go the Tamil bookstores to see if i could get any interesting books which you usually don't find in MPH or other common booskstores. But then there was a procession going on in town with a chariot coming from the Klang Shirdi Baba centre. The roads were blocked with hundreds of people walking with the chariot. So , i told Nantha its ok if we cant go to the bookstore this time since we will have to walk right up to the opposite end of the road from where we parked the car. 

As we were walking along the rows of saree shops there, i came across this Indian man selling some books at the entrance of one of the saree shops...he had just arranged about 50 plus books on a table and was standing beside it waiting for customers. And i thought...fine...i cant go to the bookstore....the bookstore comes to me :) so why not...just stop and look at what he had. I wasn't expecting to find anything too interesting because these guys usually sell simple tamil novels or short stories which are easier to sell. But then as i looked , was surprised to find one or two books by OSHO, one titled " Osho in Tantra, The Supreme Understanding" The outline of the content sounded pretty interesting which said it was Osho's interpretation of the work of an ancient Indian Tantric Buddhist called Tilopa. So, of course i bought it...since it is not easy to find his books in the common bookstores anywhere in Malaysia.

I started reading the book as soon as i got home and just as i expected it was keeping me awake late into the night. Ive not finished reading it, in fact i am only at 4th chapter but theres something i wished to share here even before i go on reading.

The words above in the beginning of this post, is from the first chapter and i read that part just before i switched of the lights and went to bed, and i started thinking of all those moments in my life which left me Speechless. It was quite a joy to recall such moments ! And for some reason the first thing that came to my mind was my very first time at the beach ! 

I was about 4 years old when i first went to the beach in Lumut, Perak with family...we have no photographs of it, but i still remember looking at the vast ocean, and its waves chasing after me...i sat down and let the waves rush through me , while my mother stood beside just watching over so i don't get swept away !! haha. I remember that moment so well. She was wearing a simple saree...(yes, those days she wore sarees all the time) I also remember that i wasn't at all afraid of the waves ... or the sight of the vast ocean itself. Probably because mom was just beside me ...i don't know...cant explain it.  

To think of it now ...it was almost as though i knew the ocean all my life...nothing surprising or intimidating ! I don't remember being excited either... it was more like i just knew the ocean so well...that i calmly sat on the beach and played with the sand and collected sea shells ...what a beautiful moment ! !

My mom always says she will never forget the sight of the little me enjoying the beach :) I didn't think of it much until i read this book and started recalling that moment..how come i wasn't afraid of so much water rushing towards me ?? How come i didn't insist that my mom carried me and never to put me down on the sand ? 

But theres one thing i could remember very clearly...

That i totally LOVED it ! I loved the sight of the ocean...i loved the waves...i loved the breeze...i loved the sand...the shells...the smell and the salty water ! ! Honestly i am glad that we don't have any photographs of me then...coz then probably my memories of it would have been tainted by those pictures and i wouldn't have remembered how i actually felt at that moment . 

And ever since my first experience with the ocean...i have been enjoying the beach again and again. I never mind the sun or getting tanned. I love the sound of the waves splashing against the rocks...i love to watch the waves retreat and come back to wash my feet. I love floating in it ...letting the waves wash me up to the shore :) 

Well, as Osho had said , this was one of those experiences which i cant describe in plain words...and makes me wander, maybe it wasn't really the first time i saw the ocean after all.. :)  

Anyway, i am still reading this amazing book...and am pretty sure that i will be sharing at least 2 more posts on this book alone...theres so much to share...so much to learn...unlearn...so much to love and enjoy and experience through it. 

So, Will come back soon ! 

Till then , watch the waves and have a beautiful time !

  

Coming into the Picture....

Year after year, we celebrate the major events like deepavali but then its never the same every time because everyone is a year older which means, someone has grown taller, or someone has gone to school, or has graduated or married, someone might have moved and came home after a long time, someone has just started working or had a baby. Someone has bought a new house or car and so on. Theres always something new to share, some new experience.

And, no matter how far we have gone, its always worth the effort and hassle to come back home. Just to put everything else aside and simply catch up with everyone. 

And this year i realised that no matter what weve been through the whole year , Deepavali is really rejuvenating. To hug your brothers and sisters, to laugh like crazy ! to have dinners and lunch in a big group. To play games, to book a whole row in the cinema and to pass the pop corn from one end to the other while watching the movie, to enjoy the fireworks with the kids, to cook and serve like never ending meals...yeah its all worth it ! And after all the fun....when we get back to the routine....and you look at the pictures taken during the celebrations....and feel so glad you made it into those pictures...coz next year it will be different again. A different moment....a different smile....but the same love shared !!

Heres my favourite picture for this year with my cousins and mom...

As we were all sitting randomly chatting away, my cousin tries to get our faces into a frame, and says " ka ! theres more space..you can fit in...so i bend down to get my face into the picture...and thats how we got this shot....a simple moment but a joyous one! So its not about grand celebrations or expensive gifts but simply about coming into the picture no matter what ! :0)

Stay within the frame , and enjoy ! :)

   

A Yogurt inspired moment :)

The pass two days had been pretty hectic at work...had too  many things in line, to be either solved , sent, received, keyed in , confirmed , printed , scanned , clarified, paid or charged...all in ONE day ! So, i was kind of getting a little dizzy with the whole scenario. But kept telling myself ... " ONE at a TIME" :) haha and somehow got almost 90 % of it done by the end of the day. So, as i was having my late lunch, wanted to have rice with plain yogurt ( the indian yogurt of course ) for some cooling effect. And no doubt i felt a lot relaxed after the awesome meal ! 


And as i got home, i thought....how about a yogurt facial as well :) hehe , yeah , since i always have loads of yogurt in my fridge i do have some splashed on my face once in a while.


So, applying some generous amount of yogurt on my face and neck, i lied down on the couch and closed  my eyes just to let it dry off and rested there for a bout 15 mins. And loved the cooling effect on my forehead  which really helped to relax the mind a bit. 


Then , at that moment , i thought about the book i was reading currently , The Aleph by Paulo Coelho.  And it suddenly dawned on me how clearly i understood the contents of the book which was triggered by that cooling off moment i had . "Aleph" according to this book meant the precise POINT where the whole universe is contained within you, and you become part of it and also the whole of it. It isnt easy to grab the idea unless you have put some thought about it for sometime. I woudnt discuss the book in this post because this is all about my yummylicious YOGURT ! :) and also because i am only halfway through the book. So, i shall save it for next time.


Coming back to my yogurt story......yeah, as i felt that calmness within me caused by the cold yogurt on my face, i thought this ...


" so what happened to all the tension i was going through the pass 2 days ? how come it just vanished in an instant? "THIS MOMENT" i am totally cooled off, and felt like the whole universe was in somekind of perfection in which i was part of. Nothing from the past nor the future would effect "THIS MOMENT" i have in hand. So what does it matter if someone shouted at you last week or if someone misunderstood you last month...or if someone betrayed you last year...or someone isnt keeping their promise they made to you ...or if you are not doing enough window shopping ...or if you couldnt plan a holiday for the next whole year....or if you have been waiting tirelessly for something to happen....or if the worst TV shows are aired just the day you are stuck at home having nothing else to do...or the book you bought doesnt make any sense...ok ok ...i think you get the idea...what i mean is...NONE of such things effects the moment you surrender to "THIS MOMENT" When you are totally with yourself, nothing else seems to matter at all. At other times we burden our heart and mind with such thoughts which we inflict upon ourselves..no one is responsible if we feel miserable at any time because we always have the choice of switching the mode to " PEACE AND CALM" sometimes it comes easy ( Like my yogurt moment ) but at other times we've got to put some effort to remind ourselves that nothing but OUR selves matters. And this does not mean we are selfish. Everyone deserve to be at peace, its our right ! So, making ourselves miserable does not help anyone at all but staying happy and peaceful does !! "


Now seriously...thats quite a lot of thought to be inspired by plain YOGURT, dont you think? hahaha yeah...but thats life, always revealing itself in the simplest of moments! It just waits to pounce on you when you are least alert. So watch out for such simple moments ! 


And ohh...do have some YOGURT today :)

Yesterday evening, after finishing my prayers at home, i sat at the computer table, checking some mails about 5.55 pm when i heard a very loud chirping of bird , i continued browsing as i thought it must have been some bird flying pass my apartment. But then , i heard it again and realised it was really loud. So i got up and walked towards the living room ...and found a small bird perched on the iron grill of my balcony facing the house. I stopped walking just in case i would scare the bird off. Waited a few more seconds to see it fly off...but no...it just stayed there. 

I was eager to snap a picture of it. Very slowly i walked to my room , got the camera and walked back to the entrance of the living room. I managed to snap a few pictures of the bird and expected it to fly off anytime now..but no ! it stayed perched on the grill. I decided to sit on the floor and wait to see what it was up to. Snapped a few more pictures when the bird started looking left and right and even straight to me ! Got as many pictures i could , zoomed in and out and changed a few angle....and yet it was still there ! I looked at the time on my Astro decoder and realised it had been almost 15 mins since the bird flew in to my balcony !! I thought it was really strange for bird to stay so long on a iron grill while it can see a human walking and standing so close to it ....dont you think !??

Seemed like it was waiting for something but i had absolutely no idea what it might be! then i decided to click the video button on my camera just in case i am able to capture something interesting ! Finally after 20 mins, it chirped again and hopped on the grill moving towards my bamboos on the right side of the wall...i followed with my camera...still recording and snapping pictures....thats when i saw another bird of the same kind flying into the balcony and also perched on the grill !! Then , the earlier bird hopped nearer to its pair and chirped away, after a few seconds chirping ...it both flew off together !!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLpLVwvTHRI

I was really excited to witness this rare scene of reunion at the comfort of my home in the midst of a concrete jungle...15 floors high on a tiny balcony with a few pots of plant .... i thought it was really amazing ! But i am still not sure what type of bird it was...definitely not the common Myna, or sparrow, pigeon or Robin...i dont know what species this is. Got to find out :)

Pray Love Dance

No this is not another version of Eat Pray Love...this is set in a totally different realm altogether...its a dimension where even nature herself is defied. Here, you will see the river Ganga flow in reflections of the colours of rainbow, ancient temple sculptures coming to life and dancing by Her banks to the majestic sunrise in the evening..(YES i meant EVENING)...only here you will EVER get to see the sunrise and the sunset simultaneously.

Surya Staka is a homage to Surya, the Sun God as Remover of Darkness and Source of Light & Knowledge. The dancers here transform into bright rays of sunlight, slowly emerging from the darkness and filling the space up with vibrant colours. It feels so real that you would feel the heat warming your heart and emotions up. It gives the same magical feelings of watching the sunrise in the morning..how the light engulfs the darkness of dawn so gently that you dont feel anything changing by the seconds and yet within an hour you will be drenched in the light so bright.

Once again in Pray Love Dance presented by Sutra Dance Theatre last week, I had the same magical experience ...theres also another piece called Aditya Archana ( my favourite!! )...which is also homage to the sun and the same effects of the sunrise!

You might think i am exaggerating ...but only until you have watched Sutra Dance Theatre performing it. Then, you will believe that sunrise doesnt have to be only a morning occurrence...these dancers can bring the sun to rise at anytime, anywhere...all you need to do..is get a ticket :):)

For those who have never experienced sutra dance theatre, heres a glimpse of how it is...below is a link to a promo of show held in 2010 in Istana Budaya...have a look :)

and have a magical day :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onPuNd-65Hs&feature=related

Have A rainbow in your heart :)

When the rainbow arches right into your garden...a spectrum of colors curves down to the wall next to you....connecting the sky...woudnt you be tempted to touch it !! Yes.......like that was not amazing enough ....the colors stuck to my fingers ....like powder....red ..orange ..yellow...green blue indigo and violet....all seven colors got mixed up and stuck to my fingers as i touched the wall where the rainbow was reflected....

that moment...was totally MAGICAL ...but it was also so REAL ! that i woke up with the colors still in my eyes....my world was colorful....the plain bedroom back home...felt like heaven.....with a link to earth connected through the bridge of colours i had just touched...how could that be JUST a dream...!

It has been about 7 years since that heavenly morning....and i still love how it made me feel...that excitement and joy ....lighted my heart so bright...and its still glowing...what a beautiful dream!!

Life had been just as beautiful ever since...and i believe those colors will stay with me forever.... :)

So...Who is "NORMAL" ?? !

On my birthday last week....i decided to visit Chasity Home in Kajang town....have seen some of the children from there during a christmas lunch last year at my friends place. Those pure faces had been stuck in my mind eversince....most of them were autistic... though one girl was completely normal but unfortunately her parents couldnt afford to take care of her...she was pretty and looked intelligent. Another boy who i thought should be around 12 or 13 years old turned out to be 20 !! he looked so small....and there were a few others too...i was touched to see how patiently they waited for their food to be served at the dining table...and obediently finished their meals. As i was talking to Ms Amutha ( one of caretakers ) i gathered that these few who were able to visit other peoples' houses occasionally were the ones who are manageable...and are able to walk and communicate but there were a few others back at the home who were more seriously autistic and couldnt be brought out for such functions. It broke my heart to hear this......and thats when i decided to visit the rest of them another day....so my birthday was a perfect time to go visit them.

I Had informed the home a day earlier about my visiting and also getting them some lunch.

And as we reached there....i got out of the car ...passed the food to the ladies in charge...then saw 2 elderly men sitting at the porch on stools simply staring into space....these 2 elderly men were abandoned by their children, they were not ill or autistic....they were simply OLD...... i nodded and smiled at them and walked up to the entrance of the living room which was pretty spacious....there was a small TV turned on, showing some chinese program....there was a 3 seater sofa placed in front of the tv.... only one indian girl around the age of 12 or 13 was sitting on the sofa but she was not facing the tv....either she doesnt understand whats on...or she wasnt just interested....i dont know...and there were 2 chinese girls on the floor....one big sized girl whos hair was so short that she almost looked bald ...she was lying on the floor facing the opposite direction ( away from the tv )....and had both her legs up on the sofa....then on the far right....that 20 year old boy i met on Christmas was sitting on the floor...leaning against the wall with his legs folded and he was also not watching tv...but simply looking at or probably through his fingers...holding his head low...i noticed no one was communicating with each other...they were all in their own space...but somehow it was PEACEFUL in there...

While i stood there scanning through the room and not knowing whom to approach first ....or what to say to them ....an angel came to the rescue...another chinese girl who also looked about 13 or 14....must have been looking at me standing frozen there in the middle of the living room......she must have sensed that i was feeling lost....so with a BIG SMILE ...she stretched her right hand out towards me....with a nod ...which conveyed a message that clearly meant ..." hey you...come over here".....so i immediately walked up to her and held my hand out....she grabbed my hand ....and with her left hand she patted on the seat of the sofa and almost shouted at me " DUDUK LAH!!!" hahahahha....i laughed...Nantha who had been watching the whole thing....laughed out too...! so i sat down and smiled at her....still not sure what to say....then i asked her..." whats your name ?".....she immediately looked down...and shook her head as if to say she doesnt know...and her smile faded a little....i was puzzled at her reaction...i dont know if she did not understand what i said ....or she did not want to tell me her name for some reason...and i am still wandering what was going on in her beautiful mind....

then the next moment she got up and cheerfully walked about ....hmmm...so that was life in there....and i felt a little embarrassed at how long i took to get familiarised with the environment and the people...while it was so easy for that girl to reach out to a complete stranger !...i guess we just think too much !!!...She wasnt afraid to reach out to me....coz she SAW simply ME ...and nothing else....she saw...whats inside...which we all share...and recognized no difference....wish i could get there ! :) dont you ??

On my way home....i coudnt help asking myself over and over ......now...

WHO IS ACTUALLY NORMAL ??

If any of wish to contribute or simply share the love with these lovely souls....

There are 25 ppl in need at :

Chasity Home

Mdm Amutha: 017327 4809

Add: No 11, Jalan 10, Taman Sri Langat, Jalan Reko, 43000 Kajang, Selangor.

Account number: EON BANK 0112-10-0009057

20102010 !

When i woke up this morning....i din even realise the date being 20102010....so went on the normal routine....breakfast...work....lunch....work ...and as i signed in my Facebook....saw a few friends excitement bout the date and even MPH bookstore putting up status messages bout the date and time 2010 2010 2010....and i was thinking ...yeah interesting number....still din think much of it....but i have to say that this day has actually brought some luck for me.....it had brought a turning point at work .....

i dont know if it was just a coincidence or if that number really works for me....whatever it may be....i will definitely remember this happy day ! and for that i thought of jotting it down here...not that i would forget what happened today ...but just for the pleasure of getting back to it whenever i wish to in the future....and thank god for this beautiful day :)

How was your 20102010 ? :)

Seen it yet ?

It was a dark morning....so chill and cozy...but i was all up and ready to go to school...i usually walk up to a junction at the back of my house to wait for my super old school bus.....the only advantage was that the engine was soo loud...i could hear it way before it comes to the junction...so sometimes i just run out through my back door once i hear it coming like a KM away... :) but that morning i was early...so walked out ..stood by the fence of a neighbours house...feeling really cold as it was about 5.45 am...

And looking left and right...each time a motor cycle or car passed by shining its light on me...and keeping vigilant while in the darkness that comes between them......and just then...at one moment...i decided to look up at the sky.....and to my amazement ...for the very first time i saw the magical Shooting star ....though it lasts only about 3 seconds maybe...i was looking at the sky for the next 5 mins ..as though the falling star had frozen in the sky for me to look at....

Did i make a wish ??...NOPE ! was too amazed to even think ....

Its been like 25 years since that morning...and i never got to see that beautiful sight again...today i suddenly thought about it ....and was thinking...that a falling star is soo precious coz it lasts only a few seconds....and it happens rarely for us to see....just like life.....its beautiful...coz u get one chance...and thats it..! like it or not ....youve got to do anything and everything you wish to do within this ONE PRECIOUS life ...

Now would you turn away one millisecond from the falling star...if you happen to catch one ! No you wouldnt...for you know that youve got to experience it ALL for as long as it lasts ...let it be...a few seconds...you still want to see the whole of it ....and will you be able to explain which part of the falling star was the most beautifull....NOPE...can u say its beautiful when it appears...or when it lights up the brightest or when it fades off....NOPE....its the WHOLE thing... a falling star is just the whole thing...no parts of it are different....right...now i choose to treat life just like that....every part of our life makes it beautiful as a whole...and i also choose not too turn away from life at any point...i am taking every moment of it through my heart.......remember we are the billion falling stars in Gods eye ...so give him the Fullest you could :)

Baby in the jungle ??

Last Sunday....Nantha and i decided to go hiking in Bukit Gasing....though it had become our weekly outing now...this time was different coz we decided to go in the morning..and not eve as we usually do....coz we were just curious how the jungle feels in the morning...so we were off walking from our apartment by 8.30 am...and as we neared the hill...what we first noticed was ...the birds were chirping away joyously...louder than in the evenings...and as we stepped into the trail...ohh goodness ..we were shocked to see a never ending line of people in the trail....both ways...and we had to keep giving way to each other as the trails are narrow....there were just so many people in there...!!! that it didnt feel like a jungle anymore...hahaha...and as we walked along with the groups....people kept greeting Good morning...to everyone that passed by them...

And we too joined in the chorus with a big smile " Good morning......good morning....Hi ....hello....good morning...hi...and it went on non stop...hahaha...there were so many kids...happily walking with their parents and greeting good morning to us ....they were not afraid that we were strangers....simply because we all shared something ...WE LOVE THE JUNGLE !!!!

Then comes the most lovable thing in the world....the doggies of course....beagles...terriers...dalmations....all enjoying the stroll in the woods with their masters...and some would stop to sniff u as they walk pass...some would stop to check out whats in the bushes...ohh what a sight ! so...we walked on excited...and when we came to a part where it goes downhill with the stairways made of roots...its a little broader path there...so we overtook some people so we could walk a little faster...then the route we take comes to the Gasing side where theres an observation tower....and we usually stop for a minute there to enjoy the view of the temple and hill over the opposite side...

And thats when i saw the most inspiring sight in my entire experience of being in the jungles...there was this young white family...coming down the trail....first i saw the guy coming with a toddler...( about 2 years old boy )...the little boy was walking with a big smile , holding his father's hands...and when it came to a small step down at the roots...his father held both his hands and said....common boy...jump !! and the boy jumped and smiled wide happy at his early hiking experience....while Nantha and i watched this...thinking how sweet it was for the guy to bring a little child for a hike...then came a lady ....with a BABY on her back ( carrying like a backpack )....the baby must be nothing more than 8 or 9 months old....!!!!! and they were a family....! Now , that was an inspiring sight as we always hear people harping on ... " how difficult it is with kids...u loose your freedom...you cant go anywhere....its tiring..." and so on....here i see a family with a toddler and a baby ...hiking in a tropical rainforest...and they sure looked as HAPPY and COMFORTABLE as Tarzan and Jane!!! :) they din seem to mind the climbs or the mosquitoes or insects or monkeys or snakes even !! :)

I was so glad we decided to go hiking that morning...coz now i know theres no excuse for not hiking at any point of my life...for i had seen people as old as 70 still hiking in there and now as young as a baby...so i am pretty sure i would fit in anytime !! hahaha...

So for those who had been apprehensive about stepping into the beautiful woods....please be assured that the nature will embrace u with so much love...that you will be instantly addicted to her..please discover it yourself.... and tell me if i am wrong...

Once again ...i regretted not taking my camera along...so this time i am leaving it to your imaginations...but i wish i had snapped a picture of that beautiful family...anyway...i will sure take my camera in my next trip and share the pics with you all.....soon .

Till then...happy hiking to all those jungle people out there :)

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD :)

HOLD the SMILE !!!

Tilt your head a little more to the right....look down.....stay calm......smile softly ...lift your chin up a little...yes !!! Hold the pose.!!!..now with the right tone of light shining on your face...you will be lucky to get a naturally pleasant picture of yourself.....this is how we are instructed to act when we take our romantic wedding studio pictures...not forgetting the hour long...make up session which transforms you into a new species...that you hardly recognize yourself in the picture....

But now...just look at the picture below....i snapped these pictures myself just randomly at a group of lovely Sambar and Spotted deers at the Perdana Lake Garden, Kuala Lumpur. And no instructions, make up , or lighting was needed to bring the most peaceful gestures out of these pure souls full of love....they dont have to put an effort coz...they are made of love only...no grudges...no greed...no evil lurking in their minds...so, naturally they radiate love for thats all they are made of...look at the pictures...and you will agree..

Arent they lovely...? yeah, they are one of the reasons ...Nantha and i love to go walking at Lake gardens ...you can visit them daily for free till 6 pm...you can feed them bread which they sell at the deer park itself...its definitely calming to see such peaceful animals...and we've got lots to learn from them....so..next time you are wandering what to do on a weekend with no good movies playing in the cinemas...keep the deers in mind...they are ever ready to welcome you with love :)

Can you Give UP ?

This afternoon...after having lunch at home ...i sat down to read the magazine "PASSAGE" Vol 1 : 2010 and i came across an article titled " Lighten the Load". And right after reading...i decided to share it with everyone...coz...it is such a simple yet important message to be observed by everyone...so here goes :

" A young man once met a Zen Master and was so impressed that he decided to learn some meditation and live a life of contemplation all alone. " I shall give up everything" he declared. " Dont try anything that doesnt suit your personality, know yourself first", said the Zen Master. But the young man woudnt listen.

He went away to the forest nearby, built himself a small hut of bamboo and palm thatch and began leading a simple life of an ascetic. But soon, he found his hut swamped by rats. They tore away his clothes, gnawed through fruits and berries he gathered for food and even nibbled off patches from the mat he slept on. The young man decided that he must do something about it. So he got himself a cat to hunt the rats.

But cats cannot live on rats alone, they need milk and fish. So the young man went out into the nearest village and begged the people to give him a cow. He needed someone to milk the cow. So he hired a villager. Now he needed to pay the villager. So began spending, two hours every morning gathering berries and fruits from the forest to sell to the villagers. Next he needed a shed for the cow so he began spending five hours gathering fruits, herbs and firewood. He bought building materials, hired some villagers and got the shed built for his cow. His cow needed grass so he cleared out some space in the forest . watered it and turned it into a grazing ground for his cow. He also had to spend a couple of hours everyday taking the cow out to graze.

A year passed by and the old master came by to see how the young man was faring. The young man was so busy that he did not have any time for the master. " Sir , please wait. I shall be with you in an hour. I have to go fruit gathering ....take them to my shop in the village....i have to feed the cow and the cat.....and there are other things to do" The master was amused.

When finally the young man was free in the evening , the master said " i thought you were giving up everything. But you now seem busier than ever. And you possess a great many things - a hut, a shed , a meadow, a cow, a cat, pails for milk and water, baskets for fruit, knifes for weeding, haystacks, a shop in the village...."

The young man grew red in embarrassment. He recounted how it had all happened. The master laughed. "I told you son, it is not easy to give up. If you had not seen the rats as a problem in your life, you woudnt have needed the cat. It is all in the mind: not around you, but inside you. Giving up has to come from within. "

Now..! isnt that an awesome story ?? It is not easy even to give up is it...? Well at least not till we learn how to be at peace within.....coz things around us will always be the same...they will keep bothering us..and pushing us here and there...and we keep hitting one wall to another till we get exhausted...but the moment we learn how to be still and find peace from exactly where we are every moment...then these things around will only hit and bounce away...while we stand firm. And how do we find that balance ? probably just as how we first balanced on a bicycle...we try and we fall to the right and left over and over...then finally you find the balance and once you find it ...you never loose that balance all your life, whether or not you cycle everyday or never cycle again for the next 50 years..you will never fall off the bicycle again...right?...so that balance simply has to come out from us...no one can do it for you...you find it and you have it forever !...so JUST THE SAME.....we have to keep trying to find that balance in life....we might fall here and there a few times....but i am sure we will balance sooner or later...!!

Walking in 2010 :)

Love celebrating Ponggal ( the Indian harvest festival)....for its all about sweets and nourishment...and what better way to start a year....and since it falls in the second week of January...it always prolongs the new years celebrations...

16 years ago around this time....i was in India...celebrating Ponggal with my parents , grandparents...uncles , aunties....cousins and a whole bunch of other relatives...what an experience it was....i was in my moms village....so , actually witnessed the very original way of celebrating Ponggal...for they are all farmers and have worked all year through for their bountiful harvest....and deserve to celebrate it . Its a 4 days celebration over there ...begins with the "Boghi" where you gather all your old and unwanted things to be burnt in a huge fire....the significance of doing this is to let go of your past and start anew...to leave behind anything thats negative...and make a fresh start mentally and physically.

Then the next day.....its called veetu Ponggal.....where the entire village...makes fire in front of their own little huts to cook the sweet sticky rice with an earthen pot....everyone pours the milk into their pots at the same time...and waits to see who's milk boils first....and the moment someones milk comes to a boil and flows out of the pot..we could hear ladies and young girls of that family screaming " PONGALO PONGGAL"....which is a way of announcing to the rest of the village that their milk had boiled . And the process continues with adding in the rice...brown sugar and butter and stirring it till it cooks well....then

The third day is for the cows....everyone in the village brings their cows to one spot....adorn them with flowers, bells and color their horns with bright paint ....pray to them showing gratitude to the sacred cows....

I will never forget that day.....when we all gathered at an open field...sat down by the moonlight....and they made me sing....i sang a semi classical song from a tamil movie....katrodu kuzhalin naathamey...which is about lord krishna...then the ladies gathered to do the "Kummi" dance...which is going in rounds clapping their hands in a particular rhythm...my mom joined in this dance as well...its all surreal to think of it now...it was so beautiful....something we only see in the movies.

Probably that experience while i was India....made me keep up with that Ponggal celebration till now..i try my best to create that atmosphere here....but it somehow never came close to that experience...living here in Kuala Lumpur....where the moonlight struggles its way through the city lights to touch the ground...it is far from nature....but still...whats more important is that "FEEL'....and when you could feel it ...the atmosphere is created....

so as always....i called a few beautiful friends for dinner....i adorned my house with sugar canes...and used an earthen pot to cook the sweet sticky rice....but of course i cant start a fire outside my house to cook it...or the Bomba will be here the next instant....so i use my gas stove to do it....cooked a few traditional vegetarian dishes....and had banana leaves to serve it....it was fun..and filled with laughter !! Happy to start the year with lots of sweets :)

Whats your story ?

Yes....its time to write a new chapter again..and the good news is ....the storyline is ALL in your hands....write it the way you want....let it be "YOUR" story....dont copy from another book...or refer to other authors...just write YOUR OWN STORY... ! Create the best situations...with the most loving people you know....and meet new beautiful souls....decorate your pages with the brightest of colours ....use rainbows and sunny skies as backdrop of your story...run around...play...jump for joy....laugh , laugh and laugh...dont forget adorable puppies.....set the warmest weather ...with the coolest touch of breeze.....yes this is your story....so by all means....

WRITE IT !!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !!!!!!

my idea of fun.....

do we need to book a flight....take a 10 hours journey.....visit the most beautiful places of the world...touch the historic buildings...or just drive 10 mins from home...meet some beautiful souls who can make u laugh till u shed tears ...? yeah today ...i realise...its the most ordinary moments that stays in ur heart forever...

..when we laugh for no reasons... meet for no occasions.. chat with no topics...time simply doesnt apply...we dont feel an hour passing by....now thats my idea of fun !

Yes...here i wish to thank my beautiful friends , Prema, Suba, Kym, Sam, Mei Jun and Viji who have been giving those moments of joy abundantly...thank God i met them...life is definitely lighter with laughters :)

Unlocking the soundproof room..

Hmm i was thinking....

We are made out of a SUDDEN....get a heart beat out of NO WHERE...we start breathing effortlessly as though we have been doing it all our lives ..then we come into this world and minute by minute...hour by hour...day by day and year by year...we start forgetting our natural self...we forget that we started walking ....speaking...singing...dancing....playing ...all by ourselves..we did not need schools to teach that ...we had no rules to follow....no examples...nothing...we walked simply because we DIDNT THINK WE CANNOT. Now thats the SUPER POWER called INSTINCTS ...we were okay for as long we were guided by the instincts...we were doing ABSOLUTELY GREAT !!!

THEN ????

The whole trouble starts...we start imitating our parents or any adults ...we start listening to what they have to say...we go to school...we follow RULES...and we try to FIT into ONE CULTURE...we start living to meet expectations of people around us and suddenly one day we realise...the INSTINCTS have stopped guiding us...coz we dont listen anymore...our heads are CONSTANTLY BUZZING with thoughts generated by the outer world...that we COMPLETELY STOP looking within for the answers....

THEN ????

We start complaining that things go wrong in our life...? ..how do u aspect it to be right when we WONT LISTEN to our INSTINCTS which at that moment is most likely SCREAMING out helplessly from a sound proof room trapped too deep down our heart
" FOR MY SAKE !!! WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE ?? "
But NO ! we dont EVEN hear this SCREAM coz our heads are BUZZING with thoughts...

THEN ???

We obviously take the wrong actions...we make the wrong decisions...we walk the wrong ways...and it all gets knotted into a messy path...and suddenly we are LOST !!!! and we stand mystified asking ourselves "HOW ON EARTH DID I GET HERE ??

THEN ???

Our hearts starts SEARCHING for the answers....it bumps into an answer which leads to MORE QUESTIONS...so we search again...and the process goes on and on...till one final MOMENT u see the SPARK...!!

THEN ???

That tiny spark leads you to the new path...you start seeing things differently...you see everything thats going on behind the screen...one after another...the world reveals itself...NOW u get excited...and say " GOOD LORD...how DID i MISS THIS ?"...

Then ???

The magical journey begins...the journey called LIFE! WE unlock the soundproof room and let our INSTINCTS guide us again...!!

Then ??

i really dont know then what ....i cant see beyond this level yet...i hope to see more !!!

connected in moments....

well....yes why not ?.....i am no celebrity ...even my neighbour doesn't know my name....even so, the idea of being connected to the world without any obligations or restrictions attracted me into this world of blogging....just for the sake of sharing some moments of life....so here i am .....again....drifted by the powerful current of thoughts that rushed into my head this very moment.....

will stay in the flow....