Have been walking the streets of Kabul and through the mountains of the Shadbagh village in Afghanistan. At the end of this trip i find that this trip wasnt as haunting as the "Thousand Splendid Suns" or the " The Kite Runner". Either i have grown stronger when it comes to Afghan stories or the author decided to have some mercy for his readers this time...i really cant say. But one thing for sure, i will always remember beautiful Pari and her loving brother Abdullah who tells her bedtime stories.
I will not get into details of the story for you can always find them in the net. This story is based on the relationship of a 10 years old brother and 3 years old Sister who are separated when their father had to sell his daughter to a childless couple in Kabul.
For some reason, this story reminded me of my mother ! No she was not sold to anyone, but was married when she was just 14 and taken away from her parents and her only younger brother and brought to Malaysia. And those days, there were no means of communication as there is today. This village in India she is from is so remote without electricity or clean water supply. It was totally like a national geographic experience when i first set my foot there 20 years ago. And now when i read this book , i could really feel the ties to my mother land and also the pain of being separated from your loved ones at such young age. I can imagine how my mother would have felt. Taken away almost forcefully , when she was not ever aware of what marriage even meant ! But she had no say in it.
Her parents were poor and they did what was best for her. They wished she would escape the harsh life over there. And yes of course she did...because my father made sure she got better food, clothes and life over here. But then , he was not able to erase that resentment built in her heart for being the reason she was ripped apart from her parents and brother. No matter how well she was doing here, she couldnt let go of the thought of having her mother with her all the while !
She visited them only once every 10 years...! Situation was such, because my father is the eldest son and the only one working then , everyone else was still in school or college.There was 10 people to feed and clothe. And yet, he managed to save enough to buy a terrace house in the most expensive housing area those days. I was born in this new house and brought up there, my parents and brother still live there today. So, with such responsibilities i cant blame my father for not being able to send my mother to visit her parents more often. But he did send some food supplies for my grandparents in India like Milo, milk powder and so on all packed in boxes and couriered. He helped them in anyway he could afford like during festivals or when they fell ill. And yet nothing he did satisfied my mother. Till today she feels she was snatched away from her family and regrets the whole marriage thing. I cant blame her either !
I am only glad that i met my grandparents 20 years ago and spent 2 months with them. That was the most consoling thing for my mother because my grandparents both passed away the very same year !! just about 2 or 3 months after we came back to Malaysia, both my grandparents had chicken pox and they passed away one after the other !
The saddest thing is, the rest of her relatives in India advised her not to attend the funeral in India, because the whole village was effected by chicken pox. So mother was not able to say goodbye to both her parents :( Seriously how sad is that ! She cried helplessly thousands of miles away, wishing she could look at their faces one last time and to touch them one last time before they are erased from the face of the world..! But no it didnt happen. She hugged me and cried uncontrollably..and i was not at all prepared to console her..i mean what do you say ??? Its ok ? It happens? Its best that they are gone ?? Its fair that you never spent more time with them ??
i had no idea what to say to her...i just hugged and cried with her. Thats all i could do. But still, I thanked God for the timely trip we planned to visit them just in time to say goodbye or they would have never seen their grand daughter ! The two months we spent there was so fun, chatting and laughing and travelling around together. I didnt mind the tiny shack with just one bulb for light and no water supply..simply because of the neverending supply of love and care i received ! Father bought them everything they wanted...sweaters for my grand pa, sarees for grandma, food, blankets , towels, and so on. They were so excited that we all three were there for 2 months. So, somehow, God knows best. He planned the trip knowing that it would be the only chance ! And even mother was a little consoled because she was with them just before they passed away.
Today, her only family left is her younger brother, now working in Singapore and thanks to Air Asia and super cheap phone charges...she has been visiting her relatives in India more often and also communicates with them regularly. Though i wish it happened while her parents were still alive. But thats life, we simply have to live with whats possible at the moment.
So the question is, was it worth getting their daughter married off and sent far away for a better life ? Was the good food and clothes and living condition worth more than being with your parents ? I dont know ...i really dont. But one thing for sure, i would not have existed if my grandparents decided not to let her go :)
ermmm...again was it worth it ??? :) hahahha...as always ...some questions have no answers...we just have to live with the questions itself...and leave the rest to nature :)
And like the title of the book ..the decision my grandparents made..has echoed into my life...they decided that i should be here ...this moment , writing this part ....
its interesting , isnt it ? :)
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