PraNam

When i was about 3 or 4 years old...just like most kids i loved the toy guitar. I would be so careful when i play with it as the strings were made of plastic and it was quite fragile. I would tighten the strings pretending to tune the guitar to the right tone...but guess what! none of my guitars would last more than a week....why?? Because i have a brother of course!! He would somehow break the strings or the whole guitar itself. And those days parents dont buy toys weekly or daily...so i will have to wait for another birthday or for some gifts from uncles or friends before i could play with another guitar. 

Funny thing is i never complained much about it...whenever my brother broke my toy...i would cry but i will not insist they buy me a new one. I somehow understood that i will have to wait for it no matter how much i wanted it.

Then when i grew up to be about 6 or 7 i was very interested to learn how to play piano. Ermm i dont mean the toy but the real one...i never had a toy piano! I kept telling my mum that i wanted to learn how to play the piano. But well, piano was expensive. Something i did not know then of course. But since i mentioned it so often, one day my mum decided to take me to a nearby music school. We walked from home...i remember it so well because i was SO excited. 

Walked across the huge playground in front of my house and through the narrow lanes between the terrace houses, building up the excitement as we got nearer to the row of sundry shops. One of those shop lots was a music school. A small one of course but the moment i saw the 3 or 4 pianos on the ground floor my heart started beating fast. I couldnt believe i was getting that close to a piano! As we entered, a young chinese lady greeted us with a smile. Mum asked her in her broken English mixed with Malay....Ada piano class ah? How much fees ah? And the lady says RM25 per month. All these happening while i was standing with my mum, holding her hand tight, feeling a little nervous and excited too. Then this piano teacher shows us the pianos and plays a note or two and asks my mum if she wishes to register me for the classes. And i was looking at both of them and the piano and almost believed that i would hear my mum say "YES" 

Next thing i realized, i was walking home still holding her hand tight and having this strange uncomfortable feeling which only MUCH later i recognized it to be "SAD". "Too expensive maa...maybe can join later ok". Those were the words (of course in tamil) which crushed my heart and yet i did not show her my disappointment. I did not cry but i remember how heavy i felt my heart then! 

Then somehow i never asked again especially after i grew up to know how much a piano costs, i knew i cant insist on it. But thankfully dance came as a rescue! started attending indian classical dance classes when i was 16 and that went on and on like forever, even after i got married...so somehow i ignored my interest in music.

But whenever i watched a show or someone play an instrument.... i always felt a little sad for not learning myself. I always told myself that i must learn how to play an instrument! And since the beginning of this year...the urge to learn music got a little intense and i was like craving for it. But i wasnt sure about where to go. I had "Veena" in mind and was browsing for names of teachers and schools around KL. But somehow wasnt happy with any of the links i came across..it was either too far from my place or the time or day of classes werent suitable or simply that i had no idea who the guru was. So finally one day as i was praying in my pooja room, looking at Goddess Saraswati with her Veena in hand...i told her "Please maa, find me a guru, will wait for a sign from you! as i am feeling lost about where to go" :) Then i just went on not thinking much about it for another month or so when one day, as i was chatting with my good friend Joethi over the phone, she says " Anu, cant go walking on wed coz i have sitar class on that day"  And i was like " huh?? you are taking sitar classes??" Where?? WHo??? And she tells me ..."going to Samuel J. Dass's beginners classes" And my eyes widened in disbelief " OMG! are you serious?!! you are going to THE Samuel J Dass's class???

 I never thought he would have classes for adults like us as he will have lots of young and upcoming students to focus on which was One reason why i never called him! But here my friend tells me that he does have classes for adults and i can join too! That moment, i heard Goddess Saraswati speaking through my friend! Really...thats exactly how i felt! So,I told her, ok i will join classes soon. Hung up and thanked Goddess Saraswati for the quick response ;)

The following week i followed my friend to the class just to observe and to let him know that i am interested to join. That was my first time meeting him and i couldnt believe that it was happening for real. Not just about meeting him but that i was actually going to learn from him!! 

When the class was over, my friend gave me the sitar to hold, just to have a feel of it. And she even snapped a pic of me :) My first ever time touching a sitar actually. Felt so beautiful even though i couldnt play a single note yet then. The instrument surely has a divine energy which recognizes your soul...

So, its been a month now and i am loving the sound so much though it is only the basic notes of Sa re ga ma pa dha ni.  Coz listening to the notes coming from your own fingers is simply amazing! :D

Then about 3 weeks back Master Samuel had a concert organized as a soft launch for the Swara Community Arts Centre which will be opened by end of this year. This show was called Pranam which means the beginning. And it was also my first time watching a sitar concert live. And it was so joyous...i loved it! Just loved every piece he played! Though i wouldnt understand the science of it or the nuances yet...it just got my soul dancing in joy.  

It so happened that as i was browsing for master Samuel's you tube videos of his pass performances i came across this one video of him playing the raga Sindhu Bhairavi. Now, i have no idea what the raga is about ...what are the swaras or the characters or the mood or whatsoever. And yet i was drawn to it like though it was communicating with me...it was surely speaking with me...i closed my eyes and let it speak....what i heard may not be anything that i could put in words...( not that i am that good with words anyway:P) 

But i know for sure it said something like this...

"Look! ...how the river flows through the zigzag of its path...over the rocks and boulders not caring an ounce about the angry earth spewing fire through volcanoes...or the storms and tornadoes that rips life apart.....no, the river unaffected by its surroundings flows joyously in its path ...faces everything that comes its way, and yet goes on and on for it knows the truth....the ocean. So why are you holding back....LET GO like the river, never mind whats happening around you. Stay on your path and flow joyously"

If you dont believe me...listen to this..you have to listen to the whole thing especially from the 2nd min....then tell me if you dont hear it speak :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNl0s59DDzQ&sns=fb


Anyway...then as i was watching Pranam...he announced the final piece of the concert he was about to play and it was Raag Bhairavi! And he played the exact piece which i heard on you tube But this time, hearing it live....i couldnt hear a single word...no it wasnt speaking anymore because it was absolutely blissful...no words needed..you could only feel it with your soul. Really if you think i am exaggerating, then do listen to the link above!

So once again, thanks to my friend Joethi who in the form of Goddess Saraswati, introduced me to this blissful music and master! Hope to post a piece i play myself sometime (ermm it mite be in years...but the soonest possible ok ! :)