Strings Attached

I was at the Big Bad Wolf sales 3 weeks ago....and i was lost the moment i entered the hall as there were thousands of books and i didnt know where to start! After about a minute or two of looking dazed, like a child who had just entered Charlie's chocolate factory, i finally regained consciousness and started looking at the Biographies.  

As i screened through the stacks of books...trying my best not to miss anything interesting hidden behind other books, this particular title caught my attention. "STRINGS ATTACHED" and the cover had an image of violin and a silhouette of a teacher and a young student. Though people say, don't judge a book by its cover, sometimes...covers do matter! Especially when you are having to pick from thousands of books....its the title and the cover which first catches your attention. First it was the image of the violin and the string which got me looking at it since Ive been learning how to play the Indian instrument Sitar for the past few months. So, i picked it out and read the title properly...it said "Strings Attached, One tough teacher and the art of perfection"! Ok now, i was even more interested in this book. Because the first person that came to my mind was not my music teacher but my dance teacher, Ramli Ibrahim from Sutra dance theatre. So, i turned to the back of the book to read the synopsis and it said...

"A Ukrainian-born taskmaster, who yelled, stomped and screamed and who, through sheer force of will, made them better than they had any right to be." 

By now i was like...."ermm...is this really not about Ramli Ibrahim?" hahaha...yeah it sounded so much like him. So in went the book into my trolley. It was the first book i picked out of the 8 books i bought that day :) and it was also the first one i read the moment i got home. 

And when i finished it, i thought ...you CAN sometimes judge a book by its cover :)

I enjoyed every page of it...and it made me realise that Gurus all over the world are just the same. They push their students beyond their limits...till it becomes unbearable for them but those students who are tough enough to endure and move on to continue learning from such gurus definitely become the best performers. Ive seen it happen at Sutra. I truly admire all my seniors there who have endured such discipline and have become tough by the years. And it shows in every production...the absolutely neat performance which comes not only from the endless practices but from the fear of a screaming guru. All senior students in Sutra knows how it feels when master praises them...something which happens SO rarely...you will stand there simply looking at him, too overwhelmed to even say thank you...almost like....ermm... say like how you might feel if you just witnessed the aurora happening right before your eyes! Believe me i am not exaggerating! 

I had the golden opportunity to be part of their major event only once....in 2008 when Sutra Dance Theatre hosted the international odissi festival and i danced at the opening of the event which was held in the Art Gallery of Petronas Twin Tower, KL. What an experience it was! Though the dancing part was joyous, it wasnt easy facing a Guru who roars right into your face! Scary! But then, after the rehearsals, he says to all the students "sometimes i need to push some of you whom i believe is capable of doing better" and i sit there shaken and in the verge of tears but feeling a tiny bit consoled about being screamed at in front of about 50 adults watching you during rehearsal. Yes it wasnt at all easy! And that was just ONCE! ONE beautiful, magical dance moment of my life...and below is a picture my hubby snapped...though not too clear its one of my fav :) And looking at it now..i remember what happened right after the performance. One of our friends who were there watching told me "Your master was standing and watching you as you entered and started dancing" and i froze! i asked her "really! he did that!!" ohh thank God i did not see him....if i had by any chance spotted him while i danced i would have panicked and been frozen just like in the pic below...hahaha. Truly it was by God's grace, i never realised he was watching! ..gosh...those unforgettable and (scary) precious moments :)

But just like how the students of this violin teacher in the book say...such difficult moments somehow eventually toughens you up. You become immune to it, you become stronger, more confident, not only when performing but also in life on the whole! 

Being human, we tend to take things for granted if we are not pushed with such fear. If teachers are too lenient, we decide not to practice and we become lazy. But having to face a tough guru leaves you no choice but to do your best. One day, all such students will thank these tough masters who have shaped their lives! For me, apart from Ramli Ibrahim himself...i have to thank a zillion to my class teacher Tan Mei Mei who assists him. It was because of her, i had the chance to be a part of this event. She really pushed us to finish up the piece which was suppose to be performed at the opening right in time for the audition. Never did i imagine i would have a chance to dance in an international dance festival! It was surely a dream come true!  

So if you want to know....how it is to be a student of a tough teacher....read this book :)

And ohh the other thing i love about the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale is their plastic bags....i usually take my green bags when shopping but this time...i just had to have one of these plastic bags :)

  

The Time Keeper

Ive heard about Mitch Albom and his books for so long but somehow didn't read any of it until last month. But after reading it...especially the part which says "It's never too late or too soon, it is when it is suppose to be"  i realised that now it was time for me to read it. I do believe nothing happens coincidentally. The whole universe is interconnected and is moving in a perfect coordination. So, no chance for accidents!

When i started writing this blog 6 years ago, my inspiration was TIME! Like how we measure everything by putting it in terms of pass, present and future but the only real TIME is always NOW! And what we choose to do right NOW determines what happens in the next moment. And then...all these little "NOWS" form what we call our PAST and eventually we call it LIFE. If you read my tag line for the blog...that's exactly what it says. I remember that was the first ever line i came up with to be written in my blog. But only after 6 years i happen to decide that i would read a book which speaks of TIME in the most interesting way!!

The story was SO interesting that i for the first time in life actually finished a whole book in one sitting! AND theres something else really weird and interesting which happened when i finished the book after 3 hours of reading non-stop. I decided to share about the book on my FB and after posting my message on it i realised that the time was 12.30am! which means i should have finished reading the book around 12.25am!! If you don't see why that's weird......have a look at the picture of the book above. The clock shows 12.26!! Seriously i was shocked! I mean what a coincident....or was it really a coincident?? Or was it a sign / message to prove that TIME is always perfect. Just like how it says in the book "It's never too late or too soon, it is when it is suppose to be" 

The thing is, if we understand that everything happens at the right time, we will not regret our actions in the past. Some mistakes were necessary simply to delay us, so we divert into another dimension of life, guided by all the obstacles we finally reach the place we want to be but we often see the past as mistakes which should have been avoided. But the truth is, without those mistakes we would never get where we got. And once we understand this, we would instantly feel lighter.

I always wondered, how might life be if we never had clocks! And interestingly enough this book is about life when there were no clocks and human beings were not living according to time until this character in the story discovers how the shadows fall on exactly the same spot everyday at certain point, and he started keeping record of it and thus created TIME. The rest of the story is about how he paid for his action for the next few hundred years. How life changed, how people became obsessed with time which eventually led them to stop living altogether. 

We ARE obsessed with time..aren't we?? We eat simply because its lunch time! hungry or not....and we refuse to sleep, if its too early, we have timed ourselves so precisely that actually we have become the clock itself. Our body automatically reacts according to the time we have set for ourselves! Like a robot..

Though its quite impossible to get out of the time frame...we can practice being a little relaxed about it. Ive seen parents stuffing food into the baby's mouth...while they are screaming and refusing to eat...because they believe its time to feed! Poor babies....why is it that we still cant believe that the human body is so natural and all babies would eat when they are hungry. Even a newborn...knows how to cry for milk! So lets not be obsessed with time. Lets just let go a little... and see how the body reacts. And its not only about food or sleeping. Its about everything we do...Feel like watching a movie...go watch...even its 2 am....feel like singing....just sing even if no one is listening. Feel like dancing right after a meal...go on and dance! Just go along with the body and soul and see how much lighter life gets! Lets stop timing ourselves....and others as well! Especially because we already have the most efficient clock working for billions of years....the SUN! Nothing we create can beat its timing...so lets got with it!  :)

And ohh....do read this book!!! its awesome! :D 

The Language of Flowers

Flowers ....the moment we hear the word, we are sure to feel it in our hearts...we may not notice it but it sure happens. That is one reason why we get flowers for almost any occasion, whether happy or sad one, somehow we need flowers. The fragrance, the softness, the colours, and its nature on the whole is something words can never explain. Its a reminder to show the beauty of life can be contained in such delicate petals. And yet, people are never satisfied to see things as it is. We must give it another dimension with our own interpretations and names and meanings and then use it as though we created them in the first place! 

This book, The Language Of Flowers is a novel about an orphan who had the ability to connect to all flowers and was able to help people change their lives by choosing certain flowers for them.

She had a dictionary to learn the flowers names and its meanings as it was recorded since ancient times. Like, Acacia means Secret Love, Aloe means grief, Baby's breath means everlasting love, Basil means hate, Orchid means Refined Beauty, and different colours of roses meaning different things like pink is  Grace, Red is love, yellow is infidelity and the list goes on for hundreds and hundreds of flowers and its colours and meanings. 

Then, in one part of the story, one of her friends explains about the meaning of the quote "A Rose is a rose is a rose" a sentence written by a women named Gertrude Stein in a poem. It simply means things are what they are. What we call it is not going to change the nature of it. 

Made me think, why do we name and interpret everything we see and feel? Cant we just look at it as it is? For example below is a picture of a yellow rose i snapped myself in a nursery in Dunstable, England 3 years ago.

I can still feel the joy i felt looking at such a brilliant creation of nature...the colour especially! The most beautiful yellow i have seen in my entire life and it gets reddish in the deep center of the flower, the petals were silky smooth, soft and made perfect outlines like how u see in sketches and paintings... and i am sure you can imagine the fragrance....such beauty...but unfortunately someone centuries ago must have been in a bad mood on that day to have thought the yellow rose means Infidelity!! Why? Seriously? Why ruin such a magical creation?! I also remember in school, friends saying...Red is for love and yellow means jealous especially during Valentines day...you cant buy this gorgeous yellow rose for someone you love because it means you are jealous!! How strange is that? 

Say no one named this flower...then wouldnt you by all means pick it to be given to someone you love. Well...i will never be able to pick it from the plant and ruin the wholeness, but if it was in the flower shops and if i was choosing one single rose to show my love then this would be the one....so bright...so joyous, so strong yet soft.

   

 Just like the flowers, we have named everything we see and not only named but also given it meanings to which we have become so used to that we cant see it any other way! Of all things that we have named the worst would be ourselves. We have named ourselves and then never go beyond that name. We forget what we really are inside. We have simply become our name...the description fits just the name but not who we are within. We are so obsessed with names that sometimes we even forget that we are human beings or maybe most of the times! Coz if we remembered, then we would be nothing but full of love, joy and peace. But being our names, we become everything else....full of hate, anger, sadness and confusion. Once we see beyond our names, we will slowly begin to see who we really are. Just like this yellow rose, then we will show the beauty which is so obvious yet goes unnoticed. 

So as a start to this beautiful year, lets learn how to see things as they are....the skies are just skies....the sun is a sun...water is water....you are you ...no descriptions attached...no interpretations ....nothing.  

Setting 2014 with the Sun

The world is renewed with every rise of the sun. It is not about the year or month. Its about every moment refreshed second by second. So life is eternally new. Live every moment of it.

That's the message i got while i sat by the beach in Langkawi, watching and meditating upon the setting sun last weekend. While i get restless by 5 mins when i attempt to meditate at home....i unbelievably sat still for almost an hour and a half there simply watching the sun set at its own pace, absorbing the golden rays and purplish skies and there was no need for calming Zen music to keep my thoughts quiet...as my mind was totally merged with the soothing sound of waves splashing in rhythm with my breathing.

I was sitting there alone while hubby and the group of friends were resting on the folding beach chairs further up. After a little while, my friend comes up to where i was sitting and asks me to turn around facing my back to the sun for her to snap a shot of my silhouette. And the picture turned up so nice :)


We were lucky that despite the rainy season the weather was so good on that evening. And the sunset was simply breathtaking. While my friend's kids were running up and down the shore collecting sea shells, building sand castles and simply running to the waves i noticed their silhouette from where i was seated looked interesting....so i decided to take few shots of them. Here it is....








Once the sun went down...rising in another part of the world...i got up and walked to the waves just to wet my feet and saw that the kids were still not tired of running up and down, most likely because they were absorbing all the natural energy and feeling light and free from all the "don't touch this! Don't run! Don't scream! Don't talk! Don't Don't and Don't...." No, here they were running free....as much as they wanted...and you could see the joy in their eyes! No concrete buildings to break their runs...simply endless shores and light ...such freedom is priceless especially for children...is it not?

Then i walked back to where the rest of my friends were sitting and chatting. One of them sees me walking up and asks in amazement,
"Anuuuu....how could you sit for that long???"

And only then did i realise it myself...that i was actually sitting there for more then an hour.....so i smiled and said to her "actually it wasn't enough" :)

How can u be bored when the sun is setting...changing colours by the seconds ...dropping into the ocean inch by inch right before your gaze! The shape of the clouds changing and forming new patterns every minute...the waves getting closer to you with every splash....the reflection of the light on the sea forming a path as if it is paving a way for you to walk up to the sun...such a majestic live show going on....and how could anyone be bored looking at it! 

The world when you got there before the sun set was gone...and there was a whole new world of dark skies and colder breeze with twinkling stars in the making....it was a new world in the making right before your eyes. How often do we notice these changes....to us the world goes by clock....its 5pm.....its 6pm....its 7 pm....its 8 pm....but do we even notice whats happening during these hours on ordinary days...No, we define our day by hours ....lunch hour....tea break....after work....dinner time....tv time....bed time...and that's it....the same routine follows the following day.....timing ourselves as though we are a bomb ticking! But the sun is putting a show every morning through the day into setting again....but we don't care to notice! Not that we don't have time...coz even if we have time we rather be sulking that we are bored then to be indulged in nature.

We may not be able to watch the sunrise or sunset everyday....from where live. But we can sure catch it at least at one point of the day before we go to bed again. It makes a difference when we watch how the day is changing every second....how the clouds are moving...when the wind is blowing them away...we too are changing every second. Our life is renewed by seconds...we are growing and blooming into ourselves...unknowingly. So lets pay attention to the changes...lets watch ourselves rise and set with the sun. Lets notice the changes in our thoughts....Lets acknowledge the love we feel. Lets LIVE with every breath ....like the sun.. :)

So my resolution??? 

Is surely to watch as many sunrises/ sunsets from as many parts of the world possible this coming year! :)

So stay tuned for lots of light and colours in 2015!

I have a lot more to share about Langkawi....will do in the next posts...

Have a great year all! 


   

Dancing with destiny...

There has been a few times, when i got opportunities to dance for a piece of music i love and constantly imagined myself dancing....it all started when i was in campus, with A.R Rahman's...Taal movie song. When the movie was released i was in campus and whenever i listened to the songs i would imagine myself dancing to it on stage...or just anywhere over the hills and by the streams...simply love the songs in the movie. But i never imagined that it would really come true! Thanks to the organizers of fashion show in campus especially to a good friend Nazlin who was already in 3rd year when i was in first. One morning at my hostel bathroom, while i was brushing teeth...she walks in and spotted me in the reflection of the mirror and asks..."you can dance indian classical dance...right?" I smiled and said...yes...though i was surprised at her question since i didnt know her at all...it was the first time i saw her in the hostel. Then she asks "would you like to be part of the fashion show we organize to be staged in the Malam Anekaragam ( an annual concert in the university). I was delighted of course...especially when i was feeling miserable to be away from family for the first time in my life, any chance to dance meant BLISS :) 

So thats how i started dancing in campus. Thats when i got the opportunity to dance for the song Taal!! I loved the choreography by another senior girl who is from temple of fine arts. There were four of us doing the classical part ...and we wore plain gold lehengga suits and since then we were often referred by our close friends as the four golden girls in anekaragam :D 

Just like the taal song...there was another song i always imagined myself dancing....also A.R Rahman's music from the movie Jeans....."Anbe Anbe" sung by Hariharan. I love the beat and the lyrics too...especially with the gorgeous Aiswarya Rai dancing in the movie!! It was just so beautiful! Though again...i never thought i would get an opportunity to dance for that song too! And i did!

The crowd at DTSP USM was easily into thousands...and the stage was so huge...we have to run from one side to the other when getting in or out....What an awesome experience it was! That was surely the biggest audience I've ever had! 

Then after campus time...when i came to KL and took Odissi classes at Sutra...it was back to pure classical dances...no more movie songs or semi classical pieces...But that doesn't mean i stopped dreaming :P

About two years ago, while i was browsing through the YouTube videos of Kitaro's music i came across this piece called "Dance of Saraswati" Oh My God it was so beautiful that i thought i had wasted half my life not listening to music that beautiful! It had a very special effect on me...every time i listened to it...i closed my eyes and this time i not only imagined myself dancing...but i also imagine all the breathtaking places i visited in Europe just two years ago...the music and the places suited so well that i didn't know which was more beautiful....and of course i was dancing by the streams and over the rolling hills each time!! :P 

This time...again i NEVER thought i would be dancing for this piece of music...as i was sure...no way my dance school would use this music to dance odissi...hahhaa...and i was not in campus anymore!

But strange that every time i hear this music i so badly wanted to dance to it...it was so joyful and touched the core of my soul! Then sometime last year i decided to ask one of teachers in Sutra if she could help me choreograph for this music...just for fun of course...not to perform but just for the love of it! But then i knew it was not fair for me to ask her to do that. So i told her to just ignore my request and that maybe i just got a little emotional on that day when i was listening to the music...so then we all forgot about it....

But believe it or not....this year...just 2 weeks ago....i danced for this piece...and not only that i danced solo....but i also had to choreograph the whole 6 minutes all by myself!! I was at first reluctant...but then i thought...well for all the years ive been learning, at least i should attempt to have one piece which is originally mine! Every step to be purely my own....for a piece of music i loved most...so why not! It doesn't have to be extraordinary but let it be mine...i thought. So...yes i only had 4 days to choreograph and practice before i performed at the hotel for my secondary school Silver Jubilee celebration in Ipoh! My friends had requested that i do a opening dance because i use to dance in school events like every year..!

I was told that the platform was pretty small and a little shaky...coz it was not meant for performances...so i put in very light steps ( its hard not to stamp when you are doing Indian classical steps) and minimal jumps or runs....still it was enough!! at least enough for me! I in fact thanked Goddess Saraswati for the opportunity...(i must have unconsciously bugged Her so much :P ) and also prayed that i made no mistakes as i knew how many of my friends would be recording and uploading it on FB!!! that was a scary thought coz i have my dance and music teachers on my FB and having them watch the video will be nerve wrecking....and guess what...i remembered every step....and felt totally at easy on that little stage....no special effects or spot lights...but just me and my Goddess in Dance of Saraswati :) I was so delighted that i dedicated the dance to all my dance gurus. And since part of the music is played with the instrument Sitar....i dedicated that part of dance to my sitar master Samuel J Dass too :)  

Please excuse the first one min...where you will be hearing my good friend's voice who was recording ...she was only concerned that the audience cant see me though it was our idea to have all lights turned off till i was on stage and started dancing...hahha..

So here it is...my very simple ...yet my very own interpretation of the Dance of Saraswati....with the sun rising....lotus blooming...birds flying...rivers flowing and there we see Her dancing in joy....one with nature....one soul in ALL!

Hope you like it :)

Me in Kitaro's Dance of Saraswati

A window to a secret garden :)

Two weeks ago i was in Ipoh, and since it was school holidays we decided to take my nephew for a outing. Just a day trip somewhere around Ipoh itself. Finally decided to visit the caves at Kek Look Tong in Gunung Rapat area. I have not been there though i am from Ipoh. So it was first time for all of us except my sis in law who has been there often. I have seen pictures of some caves at Gua Tempurung Ipoh and knew it will be interesting. So i was pretty excited to go.

As we reached the entrance, the first thing that caught my attention was the hilltop where there was an opening which looked like a window. 

I was already excited to see what was beyond.....yet little did i know of the beauty hidden behind that hill! Now it makes sense why the hill decided to have a little window.....it was inviting you to see through it...reminding you to get to the other side...

So we walked through the cave....which was serene, cool and calming with the breeze breathing through the opening..There were huge statues of Buddha and  lovely little carvings on stones all along the walls of the cave. My mom and brother were saying..." if only this is made a Hindu temple to meditate...." and i laughed!! i said....why do you need a temple? just look at the cave...look at the formations which took millions of years ....drops by drops of pure water ....a temple build with such patience no man can ever attempt! So, meditate on the cave!! THIS IS the temple! what more do you need!?....and they were both smiling...i don't know if they agreed....but at least they couldn't argue.. :) 

I walked on amazed by every inch of the cave and...Yet...i still wasn't aware of the beauty that comes once you get to the end of the cave....

When you get to the end...you see an opening of the cave....with a view of a garden, lake and hills...simply breathtaking! From then on....my family could not stop me to have snacks by the gazebos on the way...no! who needs to snack when you have the hills nourishing your nerves! So i decided to walk alone while the others were resting. Best part is, though it was school holidays there were no crowd...and i was walking alone enjoying every view and stopping wherever i wanted to soak in its beauty... 

here's just a glimpse of it....

The lake filled with white and pink lotus...

 These giant leaves reminded me of Pandora in the movie Avatar, so huge you can sleep on it :)

What a beautiful day it was....as i walked out back to the car park....i turned to look at the window on the hilltop and smiled....coz now i know what you could see through it. I did wish i was able to hike up to the window and actually see the whole view from above...but somethings are meant to be left to your imaginations...and thats what makes nature even more beautiful! 

So, if you are in Ipoh and have no idea what to do next....remember to visit this secret garden..:)

River of Smoke

We all ask questions like, why do people become drug dealers and why isn't the government doing anything to stop them ...but then if you read this book " River of Smoke" by Amitav Ghosh you will see how complicated the situation is and how it seems an impossible task to stop this trade. 

First of all, the author is simply brilliant and has done unbelievable level of research regarding Opium tradings in China in the 19th century. He simply transports you into the very streets of ancient and mystical towns of China and makes you walk along with their people to witness it all. As you watch what happens in the alleys and the crowded waterways of 19th century Canton, you will be drawn into the pass and begin to see every transaction that takes place in the opium trade. You will come to know the merchants from Bombay who have become millionaires by smuggling opium into China, you will speak with the native workers, coolies, sailors and servants, you will meet the European merchants. You will know what each and everyone one of them had for breakfast or what type of clothes they wore and what language they spoke. You will know their strength and weaknesses and their family members.   

And while you are getting acquainted with them all, suddenly you get a whole picture of whats happening...you see how the British through East India Company smuggled opium into China and how cheaply it was grown in India and then shipped off to be distributed by Indian merchants to the local Chinese population. And how the poorest of people became millionaires. Within decades these merchants became part of the community in Canton...they married the Chinese women and had children who also got involved in the illegal trading of drugs as well.  Then, when it was all too late, with more and more people becoming addicted to drugs, the Emperor decides to banish the poisonous trade for good. 1000s of people were arrested and 1000s of pounds of opium were confiscated. All foreign merchants were held under arrest until they surrendered their cargo worth millions of dollars and it was all burnt publicly.

But will the more powerful British government give in to this? No! Of course not. They have been making crazy amount of money from this trade. So, that's how the Opium War happened! 

How strange is that? A country going to war,  literally to poison their people through an illegal trade. How unfair was that! It has got to be the worst reason for any battle! And its not hard to see that money is the reason. This is of course in a big scale and it all seems unfair but what about the small things which drives people to act in similar ways in their daily lives...ever noticed them?

Sometimes people are willing to sell contaminated food from their stall just so they don't lose their profit for the day. But how do they sleep knowing someone must have fallen ill that day because of their food? Or someone might sell you a product which they know is not genuine. How do they sleep knowing someone who trusted them has lost their money for a cheap product. 

I am always baffled how people could be content living with money which they made by cheating others. I would rather be happily starving then to be wealthy feeling guilty all the time!

Desperate? but who is not? if every desperate person chooses to cheat someone...then the world would not have survived this long. The whole system would have collapsed. It is the genuine people who are making the world go round. It is for them the sun has not given up shining. It is for them the sea is still contained up to its shores...otherwise we would be all drowned together!

So, lets stop giving excuses and be more genuine, the world isn't ugly as most people regard it nowadays. I believe the world is getting more and more beautiful. People are getting more and more beautiful. Only problem is people have the technology to share only the fewer ugly side instantly which takes the attention away from all the goodness that's going on around us. Shift your focus for once and look for the good things happening and you will see that you are not able to share it all everyday for there's just so much going on. 

We too are drugged....to believe that only the evil is spreading its wings...we fail to see the whole sky above it...all clear and blue! Lets not be drifted by the river of smoke...wake up and look! and you will sure find it! whatever it is that you are looking for....is waiting to be discovered by you!